certitude

I’ve been trying to curb the profanity but today isn’t a good day when it comes to curbed things.

So.

Fuck, I’m going to fucking lose it if they dig up another goddamned road. This is beyond crazy. There isn’t any bloody un-dug up road left. It’s not a big deal of course but whatever okay? I’m just pissed off. I can’t stand bloody slowing down after every few yards because the goddamned road is blocked or is now open again – without being tarred again. Fucking wonderful. I fucking hate this.

And yesterday, this idiot, ass, fool, FOOL of a man parked his car thisclose to mine in the basement. In the process, the idiot, ass, fool, FOOL scratched the bumper. Even bloody broke a side light. And when he was called down from his office to inspect his kickass parking – man started babbling about how it wasn’t a big deal. I thought I was going to pull that broken light out, smash it under my feet and then stuff the pieces in his mouth and insist he chew and swallow. Ass. Not a big deal?? Hell-oo? My car was scratched solid! We have goddamned LINES that divide the parking space – would it fucking kill him to park in between the lines? And ’not a big deal’? Jesus Christ. Right then. Not a big deal. That’s when I should have walked over to his car, smashed the windscreen and said, “Oh hey, look here, it’s another thing that’s not a big deal.” But of course, I didn’t. I’m stupid. I should have. Instead, I just stood there waving my arms about, saying a few things which resulted in no apparent insult and/or injury. Didn’t do jackshit. Only thing visibly injured is my car.

Idiot, ass, fool, FOOL.

The power outage situation is not okay. Yesterday, I kicked the air conditioner remote and as soon as it hit the ground – it switched on. The generator died. Instantly. A quick, painless death I believe it had. Now yay, the generator’s dead. Great.

Why do people in Hong Kong say ‘bayeee bayeeeeeeeeeeee’? There’s this client who I’ve been talking to and I suspect she doesn’t get what I’m saying because after every few sentences, she suddenly thinks the conversation is over and says this super hyper and shrill ‘bayeee bayeeeeeeeeeeee’. I mean, wtf? I asked her a question, there was silence and then suddenly she says, “O.kie Bayeee bayeeeeeeeeeeee!” and I’m like what the hell?? So I rush to stop her from hanging up and tell her, “Ok, Kate, I’m asking a question here, okaaay?” “O.Kieee.” And that routine happened about five times in a 7 minute conversation. I laughed the first time this happened. But, after about two dozen conversations now, really, the novelty has worn off.

Other than that things are stumbling along. I think.

Haven’t been beaten the hell up by any cat recently. I think that’s progress. An improvement.

I tried to read my book. I wrote it in 2003. It sucks beyond comprehension. I couldn’t read more than a few lines. Then I started to (inwardly) convulse. I think there’s going to be a bonfire on my rooftop one of these days.

Also, I think I’ve finally met someone who thinks more than me. Great. Two idiot thinkers never created a great thought.

And hey, for those fucking idiots who say I write annoying ’chick lit psychotherapy’ shit – fuck off. You think I’m here to cater to the bloody Shakespeare in you? You think I sit here, twiddle my thumbs and wonder, “Ooooh..but what great literary masterpiece can I write today to entertain all the strangers on this forum?” Yeah. Right. Now. Fuck. Off.

26/06/08; 9:23am