Cheema Sahib - Concerning Your Ten Points

My contributions in BOLD.

1 - define caliphate -
Caliphate is a chemical compound found only in the Mohave Desert in California. It must contain phosphorus.

2 - who 'choses' the Caliph? and on what grounds (especially in amongst a population of 170 million)
EVERYONE usually on the Polo Grounds if there is no match going on.

3 - when the Caliph carries on on a tangent, what control mechanism are in place? and how are they excercised?
If he/she cannot find a co-tangent then a sign is posted to find a sick ant. Of course one needs to cosign. The Caliph and the Sikh ant are exorcized by Gov. Bobby Jindal.

4 - when the Caliph is dismissed (is that possible ... please quote examples), who replaces him
If you see some Moolas go into the Caliph's house with swords and then black smoke comes out, the Caliph is dismissed. Then just wait for the white smoke.

5 - please quote examples from Islamic history to answer the above
Caliph Othman was dismissed in Medina as were Caliphs Ali in Kufa and Al Hakem in Al Qahira and then Caliph Ibrahim in Qustuntuniya. Lickat Kahn, Gen. Jiya and Hajrat Bhutto were dismissed but they were not Caliphs - same same as Not Calipha Indira Gandhi and her son also Not Caliph Rajiv Gandhi.

6 - and if all the examples point towards 'dynasties', how does that differ from a 'familial' kingdom?
The only familiar kingdom is the one about which goras like you sing "God Shave the Queen." Dynasty is no longer on the tube, but you can catch reruns on Pyongyang TV.

7 - since the 'wise one' in his recent interview stated the KSA (Saudi Arabia) to be NOT a Caliphate, what the hell is one? again ... from history please
KSA is not a Caliphate, because it is a Kingdom. DUH! And yes, they are all going to hell, the kings and the "wise one."


8 - the first 50 odd years of Islamic history don't count, since they are not universally acceptable to ALL muslims ... namely the Shias
Again you are right. Shias only accept the first 50 even years. So, e.g., 2 AH, 4 AH, and 6 AH were all good. It was the years 1 AH, 3 AH, and 5 AH that were the worst.

9 - if he quotes the first 50 years as his example, does he consider Shias as Kafirs?

Shias are kaffirs because they do moota moota in Iran while Sunnies do huggie huggie on Injun train tracks to rejemble Brahmins.

10 - if the Shias are NOT Kafirs, why not?
Weren't you paying attention, you MURTID (don't ask me what that means!) - I said in #9 that Shias ARE KAFIRS. :@

Thank me Very Much

for Mirja Lahori

Pakiturk