Banana Republic

President Pervez Musharraf has to decide on the new VCOAS by the end of next month as term of current VCOAS will be expiring this November 2037. Though the choice of VCOAS is not as crucial as it was 30 to 35 years ago when the VCOAS had a status of ‘king-maker' yet the decision still presents a challenge to the shrewd mind of President Musharraf. A subservient VCOAS not only helps in keeping Musharraf's hold on army strong from where he derives his power but also presents negligible threat to elongating his rule. Musharraf has to decide amongst the graduates of of PMA course 76 and 77. Musharraf himself belongs to PMA course 29.



The president also faces a smaller challenge to his rule this year with his term coming for renewal. Political analysts see minimal risk as the term is expected to be renewed for another 5 years through the present assemblies after which elections will be held for the seats of National Assembly. Unsurprisingly, it is expected that ruling party PML(Y) Functional (Patriot wing) will retain its majority in the lower and only house after elections. There are some voices being raised for the return of exiled former Prime Ministers Benazir, Nawaz Sharif, Moonis Elahi, Mansoor Ali Shah, and Irfan M Khan who have been forced to exile in UAE, Saudi Arabia, Lebanon, East Timor and Somalia respectively. As all of them had signed agreements under the gun, yet Military Courts have ruled that agreements signed under threat or coercion is valid even when signed with foreign countries or war lords.



In a landmark agreement signed between Pir Altaf Hussein and Pervez Musharraf (details of which are not available) in October 2020 Karachi is treated as a city state and a constitutional monarchy similar to Monaco (with Prince Pir Altaf Hussein as its Monarch residing in London). The city is primarily for kith and kin of immigrants of 1947 partition (known as Mohajirs even after 90 years of the immigration despite the fact that none of the original immigrants is alive today) and has expelled most of the economic migrants from other parts of the country except for those who have married into Mohajirs. Over one weekend in October 2017, some rebels (allegedly with the consent of city government) killed large number of Pashtuns in revenge of Orangi Town and Pakka Qila killings. All the city bodies, fire brigades, hospitals etc are staffed with Mohajirs and there is peace and tranquility in the city as all the crime committing Afghanis, pakhtuns, Punjabis have migrated out or been thrown out of the city. The city runs an efficient industrial zone and free-port facilities which brings revenue and pays taxes to the federation of Pakistan and consequently the Pakistan government does not interfere in its running. Karachi has also privatized all the beach front with sky scrapers built along the coast and reclaimed land for the filthy rich of Pakistan and Middle East.



Recently, the government passed 473rd amendment to the 1973 constitution which has enabled the government to reverse-extradite. This is a brainchild of Malik Abdul Qayyum, the genius constitutional adviser of President Musharraf. This enables the government to forcefully send back the politician to new government if the original agreement was with the old government/warlord of a particular country. This problem arose because one of the politicians was exiled in West Bank (Palestine) under agreement with Fatah government. However, when Hamas took over West Bank, all the agreements with Fatah were termed as null and void giving the politician an excuse to return to the country. The current amendment allows the government to force the politician to remain exiled (morally) and if the new government is not willing, send him packing to Wahhabi Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.



The justice system in Pakistan is unique but swift. After too many suo motu notices taken by the Supreme Court and High Courts of various provinces and the disorder caused by contempt of courts committed by federal government, provincial ministers and even general public; the government had done away with the old justice system abolishing the earlier courts. The principality of Karachi has Muttahida Courts which sympathize with aggrieved Mohajirs and usually hand down harsh punishments to aggressor Punjabis and Pakhtoons (whatever little left in the city). However, there is some corruption in courts where a Punjabi or pakhtoon can get a judgment in his favor by greasing the judges or having pressure applied from the President's office though who himself is a mohajir but needs to appease the rest of Pakistan.



The rest of the country, however, is managed through military courts which are also swift in their judgments. The dissent to the government is negligible. There used to be a lot of dissenters but the government has addressed their grievances through the courts and now all the dissenters have disappeared which also adds to the charm of the military welfare state of Pakistan.



Transit trade and tourism forms a major part Pakistan's GDP. Gwadar Special Administrative Region is used as a port for transit trade to China and Central Asian countries. Moreover, it also has a gambling license which has resulted in Macau style sin city. People from all over Pakistan and neighboring conservative Iran and sometimes from Middle East come to Gwadar to indulge in their fantasies of striking it rich overnight, drinking and dancing the night away etc.



It was not like this from the beginning. Gwadar was part of Baluchistan, the largest province by land area, which was filled with dissenting tribes who used to blackmail government for their share in the royalty of gas extracted from Sui gas fields. Once the reserves ran out, the government had the whole province bombed over the weekend. When the world woke up on Monday, it was all peace and quite in the biggest province of the country though it did not remain fit for human habitation and vegetation. However, with the ensuing peace, Gwadar prospered. The high radioactive levels in rest of Baluchistan act as deterrent for any incursion into Baluchistan from Iran or Afghanistan, a kind of a natural defense mechanism.



In 2027, the quota system expired. Since inhabitants of Principality of Karachi were the ones raising most hue and cry over it throughout its history and it was no longer applicable to them, there was no discussion of its renewal. Moreover, it had become redundant as it was used mainly for hiring in government services through Public Service Commissions (Federal, Provincial) which the government has since abolished. Now all the government servants have to be ex-service men. This has ended the grievances of the smaller provinces of not having enough quota representation but also provided selfless army men with an opportunity to earn some income once they retire from army service. So far the retired army officers are serving as ambassadors, ministers, chief executive of national organizations, vice chancellor of universities, governors of provinces, administrators of hospitals and public services etc. Even the corrupt police service has been done away with and Rangers have taken over the job of maintenance of law and order all over the country.



Pervez Musharraf did not have it this easy from day one. After withdrawal of US forces from Afghanistan, Pakistan was left alone to fend off the Taliban. They were becoming harder to control with the Durand line almost becoming non existent. The army which was 80,000 in 2007 at the afghan border swelled to 160,000 in 2015 and had started retreating from the Durand line into Pakistani border. The last straw was when the 5000 army men were abducted and taken into Afghanistan. The rest of the army was about to stage a mutiny against the federation of Pakistan but was saved by a stroke of genius by Musharraf at the last moment. Using the good offices of Wahhabi Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, he negotiated with pakhtun jirga and agreed on a new unofficial border known affectionately as Mushy Line where NWFP meets Punjab and Baluchistan. NWFP now known as Pakhtunistan forms the wild west of Pakistan ruled by Wahhabi pakhtun mullahs with their Shariah laws and financed by oil money from Saudi Arabia. Anyone in the rest of the country who wants to live under shariah laws is sent to Pakhtunistan so that he can profess and practice his Islam freely over there. This has helped in secularizing the rest of the country with total lack of public display of religion bringing in harmony amongst the various factions of Islam as nobody is allowed to carry out processions, block roads in the name of religion or/and build illegal mosques.



Militarization of the country has brought in decades of development not seen since Ayub's decade of development. Large tracts of real estate have been developed. Recently, DHA did the ground breaking of Phase 109 around Gadani after a long running battle with navy over the ownership of the reclaimed property which ran in the Inter Services Arbitration Court for 3 years. Moreover, ninety percent of the population lives on military produced goods. From the time they wake up in the morning brushing their teeth with fauji toothbrush ("Jeet gaya fauji, har gaya English" logo), have a breakfast of eggs from Air force Poultry Farms, Milk from Okara Military Farms and Orange Juice from Navy Fruit Farms till the night when they polish their shoes before tucking into bed with Dushman Shoe Polish manufactured by Army Welfare Trust (logo "Joota kaala, nahin to Dushman ka moon kaala"). This form of economic management is known as Military Socialism and is a subject of various case studies and seminars by in-house advisor Dr. Salman Shah mainly to Burma, North Korea etc.



However, military is still having trouble in public service contracting business because each bridge, underpass, highway is subcontracted so many times between navy, army and air force agencies that’s its hard to put the blame in the end on one party if something goes wrong. Recently a bridge fell down in Hyderabad after one week of inauguration. Newspapers mildly criticized it that standards have fallen significantly over last thirty years citing examples of Shershah Bridge in 2007 which at least withstood 21 days of traffic. The ISPR spokesman was quick to point out that “thirty years ago, a bridge in Hyderabad, India collapsed while under construction. At least the present bridge worked for 7 days. Hence, there is no truth in statements that standards have fallen down in last 30 years.”