suppressed , depressed and oppressed

Another long day which refused to come to an end , no matter how hard I try , I cant keep my eyes off the wall clock ...I hate it ..I hate wall clocks. I hate all clocks ...why do they run so slow ...why cant they make up a good speed n run according to our wishes ....they must run fast , wild n they must not look back at us ...they should go on n on ..................at least I want them to run as fast as they could. I am fed up....I am all messed up ....I don’t want to hear anything ,I don’t want to see anything n above all I don’t want to think about anything .....
What should I do???? What is there for me to think, dream and wish upon? I need time, time for MYSELF, can u hear that ALL FOR MYSELF to reshape. Why cant I shout? Why cant I create hell in others life , the way they do to mine.......
Who I am ? Who am I ???
What am I doing here ... plz all of u ,get out of my life ,mind n thoughts . I don’t need u to be there ...i really want all of u to disappear. All my life i am used and abused .........I never complained, did I???? I think i am really grown up now ...no , actually I want to grow out of it.
What i long for??? Who pays damn if I do?
U all plz carry on wid ur dreams n wishes n desires.......plz do carry on ...i hate u all...i think i never loved u before and if i did ...i was wrong .
I need peaceful time to think feel and meditate . Remember i will never think abt u all .u were my PAST.....i will not look back from now on wards. What is there for me to rely on? U all cheated on me , u all betrayed me , u all tore me apart . I cant stand, breathe n walk ...but why i am blaming u ...its not U who r at fault , its me ONLY me who trusted u blindly n loved U . plz give me a break .....and a life time to dream but plzzzzzzz, stop these watches ticking n as i really hate them .