a fertile land..

What a country. I mean, why should any one think this, the great terrain of Pakistan, isn’t the Land of Opportunity? I mean come on. Where else can you blatantly murder people, embezzle, take bribes, blackmail and yet – be a rising star in politics? Where else can you treat the civilians like idiots and do absolutely as you please? Where else can you become one of the richest people in the country simply by means of thievery? It’s a great place I’m telling you. Last week, even the neighbors cook realized that when he planned a robbery in the house he works in. Unfortunately, for him, it didn’t quite work out as he hoped – the whole plan was foiled by some responsible members of the public who noticed two men pulling out guns and created a bit of a scene. But hey, it’s okay – it’s a start isn’t it? The cook shall learn. In addition to his desi gourmet cooking abilities – he shall slowly but surely learn how to rob his employers. It’s the land of opportunity after all.

I think it’s disgraceful that we bitch this place out. I mean – just look at the options you have. The freedom. The leeway. It’s outstanding. It could be a record. Land up in the Guinness Book or something: Pakistan – the land of absolute opportunity.

Dude, even the random motorcyclist feels he can have a piece of the cake. The other day, I was out with a friend and this seemingly innocent guy pulled up along side and flashed his gun at us. While my friend was panicking I was trying to figure out if the gun was real or not. Of course, I couldn’t tell. Technically, we should have handed over our ‘valuables’ but I wasn’t ready to let go of my ‘valuables’. I value my knapsack. I value my wallet (even if it doesn’t have money or credit cards in it). I value my funky keychain that says “No Begging”. I value my things even if they’re worth diddly squat.

Someone I know got mugged at a gas station. There was a long queue of cars. It was brightly lit. The staff was right there. Yet, this one guy felt brave enough to walk over to her, point a gun and ask for her bag. Everyone watched. I guess reality tv has made us suckers for real-time crime viewing – because not one person moved a finger to stop this from happening. See what I mean about opportunity?

My aunt went to the bank the other day to draw some cash. Upon reaching home, two guys on a bike told her they wanted “the bag from the bank”. She resisted. She was silly. They shot the guard at the gate, beat her up and went off with the bag. Opportunity opportunity..

Then the guy in the pharmacy feels he can openly charge me four times the cost of this medicine because there’s a supply shortage. I tell him I can’t breathe without that medicine. He shrugs and says “So buy it.” But for FOUR times the price? He shrugs. He couldn’t care the fuck less. Bastard. He does it because he can. This is his opportunity to make more money.

They raised the price of fuel too. There’s still not enough wheat. There’s a power shutdown for 63 hours. Your politicians aren’t ex-cons and ex-thieves but active on both those fronts yet they roam freely. It’s possible you voted for them too. Your National Accountability Bureau doesn’t account for jackshit other than imprisoning corrupt losers for 7 years and then letting them walk scot-free. ’Oops sorry, maybe he didn’t really embezzle millions in the Cotecna case and maybe he didn’t kill anyone. Off you go with a clean slate.’ Your bank has mice in it. And your cook could be a robber.

Gotta love this country. How can you not?

06/03/08; 3:20pm