manic me this...or that..

I found a song day before. It’s weird. It’s in the instant-happy-senseless-adrenalin-rush category. So I’m positively manic. I mean, here I am positively feeling like shit. But then I hit play on this song and I’m sitting here bopping my head like a positive maniac. Then I hit mute to answer the phone. And I’m positively feeling like shit again. I have this almost monotone phone conversation. While I tell the client whatever I need to, I’m thinking, I hate this world. Everything is grey and withering. Gawd, my life sucks. Shit, I need to get a life.. and then I hang up and hit the mute button again and the music’s back on. And I’m bopping my head again. I’m grinning. Everything is funny. A crappy realization looks like a silver lining. Ra ra ra.

Also, I’m driving like a maniac with this song on in the car. No no, I’m not a hazard or anything. Just that this morning, Baldie in a Prado thought he was super cool when he overtook me in his animal of a car and decided to leave me in dust. There I was, head bopping and all, and I decide I don’t want my car to eat dust. Surely it can’t eat dust. So I hit the accelerator. It was early. The roads were clear-ish. So now, instead of one ass hitting 80 where he shouldn’t – there were two. And I smoothly pull aside him at the traffic light. Head bopping, grinning and all. Happy happy. I stare at the seconds countdown above the traffic light. He starts edging forward. I never edge. But this morning I was all edgy. I edged. Just a little. We’re definitely acting like idiots. I’m wondering if he has a manic inducing song on in his car too. I do this sidelong look thing to check if he’s treating his steering wheel like drums like I am – he isn’t. Hrm. Nope. It seems he has no song for an excuse. Light turns green, we go for it. Baldie has a hugeass car. Mine’s not that big. Plus, I’m a wimp and I didn’t want to do this whole I’ll-drive-one-inch-away-from-you-and-not-worry-about-smashing-right-into-you routine. I’m sure I suck at it. Hey *shrug* I’m not a great driver. Sue me.

So he gets the lead. But we’re still driving at the wrong speed. Too fast. What’s annoying is that whenever I come across an exceptionally weirdass driver – they land up exactly where I’m going. Huh. Weird. So we land up in the queue for the parking. Me in the basement and he in the upper level. I race up the stairs and almost run into him waiting for the elevator on his parking level. Huh. I keep running. The song’s still playing. iPod rules.

It’s still on as I write. I could switch it off. And you could see what I mean when I say it transforms me.

Okay. Off. Observe:

I mean, seriously, why are people so judgmental and so vicious and so unforgiving. I have done as much as I could. I really have. There is no more resilience to offer up –

Woah. On again. Like, hello, no way. This song has to stay on. I’m head bopping again. Last night, I danced around like an idiot too. Was kind of fun. This music sounds kick ass on the speakers (if I may say so myself). You can’t really go wrong with Bose now can you? Nope. Bose and Sennheiser – decent investments I’d say. Keep the space between the ears happy and delusional. Yeah haan.

The Wall called me. He was trying to be less cagey. He told me he was going to hang up and have some lemonade before going for his run. “And you’re telling me that because?” I asked. “Because I’m trying to be communicative. Remember how you’d said I never talked about stuff?” Righty then. I didn’t think there was any point in telling him I didn’t mean talking about lemonade before runs. But what the hell. Maybe the guy’s seriously trying. Or something. Then, after his run, he changed the original plan of coming over and instead, shockingly, asked me if I wanted to ‘get out of the house’. Wow. That never happens. He never makes such suggestions. Turns out, he just said that because he wanted to go some place he could get stoned. Hah. So much for that. I wasn’t very communicative yesterday. He was himself. So there were two uncommunicative idiots sitting silently as he drove like a proper maniac. And he didn’t even have the song on in his car.

Watched some crap movie. It was so crap that I can’t remember the name right now. *shrug* It’s not because I was high or anything. Nopes.

Anyway. There’s a fly around here that’s really getting to me...gotta go kill it.. if you know what I mean...

*walks off bopping head*

27/02/08; 9:01am