Dear Coomar

Thank you for throwing that wild party at your steamed premises in my honor the other night. You invited all of my enemas and even a few of my multinicks. Too bad your timing was off because I was sound asleep and missed all the action.

Although you meant well, the gathering soon descended into a bloodbath - that's what happens when you entertain people and I am not there to add the humor and bring out the laughter.

How are you? I remember very fondly when you were crazy about my work, my lost articles, and my behavior. Now that you have jumped off the fence and joined the evil ones I hope that you are truly happy. At least you will stop growing calluses on your rear.

Anyway, take care, and next time you throw another party in my honor, please send me an invitation.