The Necklaces

When I got paid yesterday, I felt like taking her out to dinner, or at least ask HIM to take her. But that cannot happen. I wish I could buy her stuff.
See, buying her stuff, taking her to the movies, taking her out to dinner etc etc has NOTHING to do with anything. Its what I want to do. It never means I want to BUY HER, as most people tend to. You can never BUY someone. But sometimes I think they feel this is what I want to do. But usually, I dont think that, because they are great people and wouldnt think bad of me, unless I DO it, in the first place. They are clean of bad thoughts, except, sometimes, they think wrong about me, and think of me as something I am not. I do not blame them. I force them to think this, by acting stupid. But, even then, its stupid to think of me as that, because there are other things I do.
Well, I do not ask anything in return, because what I do is because I want to, and sometimes she asks me to. Even when I do as she says, I do it because I like her, but also because I WANT to do it.
It pains me when he thinks I become a "dog". But he doesnt see, that I act even more of.. the dog, when I do things for him. He doesnt notice then.
Well, I dont want him to notice it, but at least he would stop noticing it when I do it for her. Because it is nothing. Its really nothing that much. And at the same time, I get a chance to hear her voice, to talk to her, to listen to her.
Why the hell dont they EVER understand
I do things for her because I like her, and I buy her, or used to, because she looks GOOD with them on. I see something cool, and I suddenly think of buying it for her.
THIS has nothing to do with anything and I do not want it to be related to anything.

I do not know why it has become so much fucked up lately, but I wish it would be normal. I have been told there will be no such thing in the future, and they were KNOWN to live in the present. And when I chose to live in the present, put everything else aside, they kicked me out. THEY KICKED ME OUT!!!

Now I have NO one. No one to talk to, no one to listen to.
Ive just been carelessly thrown away, as if I never existed.
But there is something. The something that has always been there.