Dear Cliffy,

It is always a tragedy when one of my multinicks starts to misbehave. At first I was tempted to give you the Bang a Lun treatment or at least the Madame Flatulence response. However, realizing that you are merely a Paki ex-momina KHI Mojo trying to become an alcoholic, I decided to be gentler. This precludes your need to engage two proctologists - and not just for a second opinion either. You can thank me later. I do, however, feel that your outburst does require a response - for the public record. As usual my responses are in BOLD.

{"Zeemax i am not one to accept jirgah justice on my life friends religion or anything else. Neither am i offerring anyone explainations, - hopefully you are done talking to salim about me."}

Cliffy, I have a pretty good idea about why you don't want Zeemax to talk to me - let's just say that I know a lot more than you think I do.

{"Salim not one of your mutlinicks are worthy of my friendship or my enmity. Stop talking about me, you are not conning anyone into thinking you are batshit today because ive been offended or whatever the hell crap you are peddling."}

Cliffy, you, of all people, know exactly how many multinicks I have and none of them is named tabahi, scout, neembu, Saminasha, Aphrabehn, Malady, Trmntr_X, CrateAlpo, or Choostahai. Hopefully, you have let the breeze from Lake Michigan blow out the debris from your ears so that you can realize that Choostahai called you a "Jihadi Cunt," and not a "Mahanadi Runt" as you thought he did. Regardless, I was offended by the misuse of the word "Jihadi" which means "One who struggles." Now what is so meaningful about a "Struggling Whatever?" I am not familiar with the jargon of Choostahai's Alcoholics Synonymous Society, but I think the acronym is rather shitty.

I don't need to remind you that you volunteered to be my multinick. There was no need for you to shout the embarrassingly orgasmic cry of "Saleeeeeeeeeeeeeeemy" every time I logged in. As you recall, I told me wife that this Paki cardiologist wants me to run away with her. She responded that "Selim, with you good looks and crazy mind, you better hold off for a brain surgeon." I also told you that being my multinick and then drinking with my worst enemas was a recipe for disaster. Now you understand why I never really trusted you completely.

{"Your only talent is making people laugh ..."}
That is all that I ask. Your attempt at flattery is noted.

{"... and though its certainly funny to watch your "moral" positions which all last about 5 secs you could do better."}

For someone whose morals resemble the front seat of a '58 Rambler, you should be the last one to pontificate. If my recent anti-MQM statements are the cause of your stethoscope going into ultra-high vibration mode, please understand that I don't need anyone's ratification for my viewpoints. I know that I am consistent when it comes to Gujarat massacre of 2002, Massacre of Sikhs in 1984, Repatriation of "stranded Pakis," and the myth of "India Shining." I did a flip-flop on Mushy when he went bloody and irrational as an unmasked dictator - before that I thought that he was the least evil of our leaders. I supported the MQM when they stood for justice and freedom. I despise the MQM for burning innocent people to death. May 12 could have been excused as a shoot-out among hooligans. This latest incident cannot be excused away. So, if you are disappointed please take a stiff drink as I know you will anyway.

{"I am out of the city at present and i doubt ill ever respond to anything you say ever again, so in advance, dont bother saying anything to me or about me and everyone can make up their own conclusions on what set you off this time."}

It is unrealistic of you to place unprovoked charges and then expect me to remain silent. I have tried to be gentle and whether you read my words or not, they are for public consumption.

{"Stuka i am really embarassed at the thought that after all ive said to you you'd say anything in my "defence" to my "friends". if i had been salim id convert to hinduism and become a punjabi indian already, but im realy not one of his multinicks so all i can say is thank you and im sorry."}

Cliffy, what was that about "funny to watch your "moral" positions which all last about 5 secs?" So, the moral outrage over attempted rape of a toddler was merely a fleeting moment of "Muslim feminism?"

Now, the comment about "converting to Hinduism" was mean. I feel that I have been insulted by the pygmy version of Glenn Close. It's bad enough that I carry the stigma of a Hindu last name of Chauhan, but converting to Hindu membership would really diminish my romantic aspirations with mominas. I would be reduced to stuffing ex-mominas with alcohol, trying to get them plastered and then hoping to get them in the sack, all the while muttering Mo this and Ayesha that with the vomit spurting from my mouth into theirs. Thank God that you are not Salim.

Darling Cliffy, some words of wisdom for you as you ponder your quick-fix solution of "my enema's enema is my best friend."

When you lick Injun bums don't complain about the occasional Injun shit.
People who run with the hares and hunt with the hounds usually get trampled by the fleeting horses.
Girls who run away from home usually find TABAHI waiting for them with open arms just around the corner.