Deranged Arranged Marriages

By #23 by Fizza : Thats what I was trying to convey through... Well renowned Editor with power conscience attitude have done the harm and so..the examplery is self depictive..But the false censureship and biased policies remain alive even the if editor Runs Away without any explanation as which she proclaimed herself once when was circleted to be owner of all blacks and whites of this site...And the leftovers of hers (Baaqiat) are still as much obnoxious and unruly as had been under her official observance status...

The acting ones have no courage to undo the unfair, biased happenings with much of interactors whose work has been pushed out of their hands and sight with extremist discrimination. Whereby the fouls are set an example to rule and judge.

My fight for my work of years will continue and is not going to change with change of ruling faces unless and until I am told and convinced that this site is a propriety of private business holders who own the bundles of work of free-minds and can sabotage creativity with one stab of policy of their ruling stick.

I hope you understand what I am saying...

Re: # 16

Well May I think Asad has answered you very well... but I would like to add more. I know this won¡¦t get into your head as I can see how close minded you are.

You need to understand the concept of ¡§Love marriage¡¨. It¡¦s not just falling in love and getting married. Marriage is a serious issue. One got to build good understand, likeness and dislikeness with the person he/she going to get marries. Now can you make me understand how you going to do that with somebody you don¡¦t even know? Somebody your parents chose for you. And after marriage when you come to know that your partner has completely different thinking, likeness /dislikes. How are you going to deal with that? I know the word ¡§compromise¡¨ might be coming in to your mind right now. YES Compromise is the key factor in any marriage. BUT how much? There is limit to compromising. You can¡¦t kill yourself over compromising.


¡§v asian hav bin brain-washed by the western propaganda of `lov marriages-gud, arrange marriages-bad` to show their own supremacy. they just say that bcuz thats how their society works but that doesn`t mean that watever they do is rite.

Can you please tell me what the hell that is?


Arrange marriages are successful in our countries because women¡¦s are living MISERABLE. As asad said you have lack of knowledge. You really need to find out a lot of things. I can give you 10 thousands real life examples where women¡¦s are living miserably cuz of the stupid arrange marriage.

And yes I agree, there is no guarantee which marriage will be successful. Love or arranged. It is a gamble. But I can tell you one thing. Ghalti khud ki ho toh it¡¦s not that painful, yah phir kisi aur ki ho ap key liey.

I don¡¦t even know y I am wasting my time.

I guess I can only say that God forbid, if you have arranged married and your partner turn out to be completely different then you and extremely horrible. Then you will understand the concept of ¡§LOVE MARRIAGE¡¨... HEHE.

I KNOW WHATEVER I WROTE IS NOT NICE. AND I AM NOT GOING TO SAY SORRY BECAUSE

WELCOME TO REAL LIFE! ļ

droll indeed. i dont get one thing..where do you find these girls from ``good families`` who are ``educated`` and yet claim to know cooking? this just sounds unreal.

Re: # 10....LOL.. thanks a lot writting back .. i was going to write kinda same thing for him but i thought . it will be a waste so i didnt bother.. but THANKS.. Good JOB.

Ayayaeee May

This is my final response to you, because your lack of research is now getting to me and your points are just ridiculous and AGAIN, i am proposing that people get to know eachother a lil better before you get the parents involved...

in answer to your question...

``By the time he was twenty-five, Muhammad (SAWW) had become well known in the city for the integrity of his disposition and the honesty of his character. A rich widow, Khadijah, took him in her employ and consigned to him her goods to be taken for sale to Syria. Delighted with the unusual profits she obtained as also by the personal charms of her agent, she offered him her hand.``

http://www.muhammad.net/bio/profbio.html

I knew this already but I researched it just to make sure, i checked about 5 sources, everyone has the same account, so SHE proposed to our Prophet, AFTER getting to know Him, and impressed by his charachter... no parents involved, they approved of eachother first and dont you think if it was arranged... the parents would pick someone the Prophet`s same age and she already had children before the marriage.

Its uninformed people like you with a closed mind that refuse to accept what they`ve been spoonfed all their life, refusing to think outside the box and accepting things as they come, you cant be so passive... its people like you that are going to be the death of any intelligent argument and the birth of mindless wars between muslims or any other race for that matter....

JEEZ!

Re: # 22

And you know what happens when editors with a renowned name and a so-called conscience stay? Interactors get banned for unfair reasons. Their i-logs disappear. By any chance, would you know of a Chowk-wala [or wali] who found themselves in this situation, then created a new ID and tried to retrieve their older entries? *raises eyebrow*

there is nothing interesting in article except i have just read aloud ``Samina Bich``...which seemed the writer eagerly wanted to convey on this board through this manifested articles...

now that happens when editors run away and acting ones have no name and conscience..

Blah..Blah..Blah

Re: # 20

Are you so shoked by the news of your uncle`s marriage that not only have you forgotten to eat, but also to how to write?

i kno that the article was supposed to b funny but u mite not realize wat effect it mite hav on some ppl.u seriously shudn`t b ADVISIN them to run off with some1 n marry him/her.thats how the media affects ppl adversly.

nothin can guarantee a successful marriage to tell u the truth.ABSOLUTELY nothin (esp. not lov marriage) Just pray to God n hope 4 the best I`d say!

my answer is contained in this 1 simple q. : Hazrat Khadijah(R.A.) married the HOLy Prophet (SALLALAHU ALAIHI WASALLUM) without knowin much abt him.She(R.A.) only knew that HE (PBUH) was an honest man n that was enuf 4 her 2 marry HIM(PBUH).She was a pure woman n did not remain in the company of strange men (na-mehrum).Their marriage was quite sucessful.If u actually think that hangin out with a person is necessary 2 hav a successful marriage n 2 find the `perfect life-partner` or ur `soul-mate` then y was the purest of marriages done in such an arranged manner?

oh! n also....thanx but no thanx 4 ur massage advise.I m come with back-up batteries n i don`t get tired tellin ppl wts rite.

hmmmm u guys in amreeka/kenneda have it easy i cant beleive you actually talk to your parents... other than hanji we couldn`t really say much else!

to May and Locust

Wow, that was quite a rant from May, Listen, first of all lets get things straight, I am, despite living in the influence of `western culture` the most patriotic and culture loving person you will ever meet, and most likely to drag you down to your roots if i even remotely suspect you`re Pakistani or Indian. Second I love my parents and would never do anything to hurt them, and there`s nothign wrong with love marriages and i agree with May that a person`s `true color`s` come out after 6 or 7 months, which is why you get to know the person, before you get married, I`ve been in almost a 2 year relationship where the person had changed after like 5 or 6 months, but then I had already made a commitment, so even if I wanted to back out I couldn`t. So i ended up staying for longer than that and you have no idea how unhappy it eventually made me because it had a significant negative impact on my life. Imagine being married! That something you cant just go in and out of...

The article is just a joke, a distortion of how things would be if everything went to the extreme, why cant you guys just get that in your head? I wouldn`t actually come home married to someone, but what i would do, is bring the girl I want to marry home to my parents and let them know I want to marry her. That way i get to see if the person changes; get to know the person inside out and know for sure that this is the person ill be happy with instead of having to make do with what i get. This isnt a charity program and why subject yourself to unneccesary unhappiness when you can just pick your significant other, or quite possibly your soul mate.

Another thing is that I think i offended May when i said Atif made me laugh, I dont like to offend people or hurt them in any way, I was merely laughing at his plan to plot revenge, it was just funny, its not all seriousness, its just jokes, so lighten up a bit and maybe throw a joke back?

Take care both of you
and get a massage or something dudes, chillax!!

So I hope that answers all your questions

aaaah ... prom pleeej come fasht ;)

Re: # 14
Hahaha Atif you made me laugh with your suggestion for MAY haha that was great!!


-suggestion OH! I`ll giv u a suggestion! Pick some foreigner (just bcuz she`s a GORI) 4m the street or any other girl, say ur in lov with her,marry her SOOOOOOOOO secretly (as if ur not marryin but commitin a murder) that even the angel on ur rite doesn`t find out abt it n definitely not ur parents ,rite? They`r ur enemies. They`r gonna kill u if u`d tell them that u like some1 n wanna marry him/her.N when u liv with her 4 abt 6months or a yr,u find that ur sort of fed up of her as u begin 2 c her TRUE COLOURS.n the thing u kno , u`r in lov with some1 else n u leave this 1 with a baby 2 care 4 N THATS THE TRUTH OF MOST OF THOSE SO-CALLED `LOVE MARRIAGES`.

n that was 4 atif 2.Oh! n 1 more thing....y I ask wud he not b able 2 eat 4 3 months (as u put it) anyway?huh?havin ur marriage arranged doesn`t mean not likin (or lovin) the 1 ur gettin married to.u just hav ur paents arrangin the whole thing 4 u n thats it!
mayb i shudn`t b sayin this but let me make 1 thing pretty clear if this is wat`s confusin u:v didn`t or wudnt force him to marry any1 anyway.v asked if he liked some1 but he just wudn`t talk on the matter (n thats really not our fault,is it?) n then,1 day he comes home with a wife n a kid.i mean,COME ON!!! WAT WAS HE THINKIN!!!?

v asian hav bin brain-washed by the western propaganda of `lov marriages-gud, arrange marriages-bad` to show their own supremacy. they just say that bcuz thats how their society works but that doesn`t mean that watever they do is rite.

n Asad, my sincere advice to u is that u suffer 4m inferiority complex.GET OVER IT! our ways r not that bad u kno.

havin a lov marriage doesn`t make it successful,u kno.u need 2 hav understandin btw eachother n trust. if it`s there , whether it`s a lov or arranged marriage, it`ll b successful. n that`s the most important part of it.

Re: # 14

Agreed! and I do. It just that.. oh! well if I have seen one thing on chowk, I will say something and you would disgree in a subtle manner and this would go on. and I am usually the silent type.
However, keep writing with time you might realise you need to be a bit more serious and I the other way around

Re: # 13
Well if you were looking for a serious article that dealt with arranged marriage issues i doubt you find something about that in chaathouse, its just a casual outlook on things with a distortion of the actual truth to make the situation seem funny, not a full fledged article about arranged marriages and Islamic doctrine. So although I respect your thoughts and views on writing styles, you obviously mistook the reason why the article was written, just a word of advice: learn to enjoy life a little, through different styles of writing or maybe other non-serious sources ;)

# 10

Hahaha Atif you made me laugh with your suggestion for MAY haha that was great!!

and everyone else who has taken the time to leave a comment on here, thankyou very much for your feedback! :)

This is my first interact on chowk. I was tempted to leave a comment as I feel the article is poorly written (it is too casual, the write may have his own natural way of writing however I did not like it).
The author is obviously trying to criticise arranged marriages, however I have a lot of ``desi`` friends who want to get married to girls in pakistan and many elder people born here and got married to girls in Pakistan are very happy.I would also like to state than many sects do not believe in believing ``talaq (divorce)`` happens if you say ``talaq`` three times.
It is even more weird for me that the author feels it is simple for white folks to get married ``that`` easily. The author obviously has exampes of ``white trash`` families. However I respect everyone`s views and all I can say is that one simply cannot depict whether an arranged marriage would work or the one with a czeh girl!! However, many would agree the later seems doomed!!

Cheers Everyone!