Love Affair

well done!

nice read :)

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,,,,wellllllllllll its wiereddd

Re: # 20-that was a favour..no need now..:D

#84 by Mantolives on March 9, 2006 2:58am PT

Yes...

But he is being portrayed as the passive one...

Snorted so hard, if was drinking milk it`d have come out my nose!

Yes...

But he is being portrayed as the passive one...

And if this board is any indication... well. :) Needless to say, I don`t appreciate the insinuation...

Lets just get back to discussing Ranjit`s infidelity of which he is so mightily proud...

i think the focus shifted to bjkumar, manto, not you...

Focus people..

A desi pervert i.e. Ranjit in on the loose in the tristate area... and you people can make jokes about my sexual orientation.

bj - that was faaabulous (wrist slapping icon here)

LOL

Re: # 78
Dude you better change your nic to ``beegay`` pronto...

Yasser`s (now famous) ``rakhsash`` statement (#68) and Burpinder`s comment (#77) on that statement inspired me to try an alternative plot line - but the following was all I could come up with. (I still feel the body should have been shorter - in this case perhaps much shorter.)

---

A Forbidden Affair

“Hmm,” Safdar sighed.

“What’re you thinking?”

In a little while they would get up and go their separate ways but for this one instant in time, they were together and for now that was all that mattered. His big hands, slightly rough and very warm, gently stroked his smooth back as Safdar rubbed his scrubby cheek against his shoulder and one stubby finger traced his face.

“You’re probably the first man to ever ask another man that.”

Aftab chuckled. “We’re not all shallow creatures. Besides, it’s my feminine side – it hijacks me at vulnerable moments and then I like to talk – with certain people, of course.”

“Why, thank you,” Safdar mocked gently. “Actually, I was thinking - do you remember the first time you said you loved me?”

“Hmm. And you said, ‘thank you’.”

Safdar laughed. “Well, I’d decided I wasn’t going to say ‘I love you’ to anyone I didn’t really truly love.”

Aftab pushed himself up on one elbow. “You mean you didn’t really truly love me?”

Safdar put his tongue out at him. “We were sixteen.”

“I know - you were hot!”

Safdar roared with laughter as Aftab nuzzled his neck while his fingers unerringly found all his ticklish spots. Finally, Safdar caught his hands and giggled into the pillow.

“I had glasses,” Safdar said at last.

“Hmm,” Aftab said. “And your hair dripped with oil…”

A pillow landed on his face. Aftab wrestled it away from his and looked up as Safdar climbed on top of him.

“Ooh,” Aftab said. “This is how a million fantasies have begun.”

“Fagg.”

“Whatever you say, baby,” Aftab grinned.

“But seriously, did you ever think back then that we’d end up here today?”

“Do you mean did I see myself naked under you with – all right, all right, don’t smother me! Cut it out! Safdar… You mean when I saw you dressed in that faded blue jeans with your fat glasses and your oil slicked hair, did I think I would still be in love with you fifteen years later? Nope, I didn’t – I didn’t even think I was going to fall in love with you then!”

“Bas-tard,” Safdar grinned. “Was that when you were still panting over Sarwar?”

“You say that like I ever got over his.”

“Sa-f-dar!”

“Af-taab!”

“I hate you!”

“Funny way you have of showing it,” Aftab said, his hands wandering over his.

“Stop it,” Safdar said half-heartedly.

“All right,” Aftab said, promptly putting his hands behind his head.

They both laughed as Safdar leaned down to kiss him.

“All right, truthfully?” Aftab asked.

“Yes, what?”

“Your face was only incidental.”

Safdar looked at him skeptically. “You fell in love with the ‘real’ me? My inner beauty bedazzled you?”

Aftab was shaking with suppressed laughter. “No, I fell for your adorable little ass – or should I say your adorable big ass?”

“Beast!” Safdar yelled.

“Shh-hh. Not so loud.”

“Really? I noticed you don’t practice what you preach.”

“Some men would take that as a compliment.”

Safdar frowned in mock reproof. “Know a lot of these men, do you?”

Aftab held up his hands. “It was another man in another lifetime, Your Honor.”

“You’re very cute when you lie.”

“Ah, the perfect man – the one who lies through his teeth.”

“Well, there’re your hands too… I love your hands,” Safdar said, drawing one from under his head and kissing the palm.

“Is that all?” Aftab asked wickedly.

“No, it’s true… they’re just right.”

“Hmm, depends on what they’re doing.”

Safdar pinched his nipple.

“Ow,” Aftab said, rubbing his chest. “See, now that’s not a turn on.”

“I thought you once said I turned you on no matter what I did.”

“Did I? I must have been trying to talk you into bed.”

Safdar gasped.

Aftab laughed a little. “What? Didn’t you tell me all men are the same?”

“Ye-es, but not you!”

“Why not?”

“Because I love you.”

“And I love you,” Aftab said softly, drawing his down for a kiss.

“I’ve got to go,” Safdar said a little later.

“Hmm,” Aftab sighed, his chest rising and falling beneath his.

“Aftab?”

“What?”

“I have to leave.”

“You might have done that a while ago – but now that you’ve already broken my rib cage, you might as well stay a while.”

“Stupid,” Safdar giggled. “Are you calling me fat?” Safdar asked mock-ferociously.

“Mm, motu khotu,” Aftab said, slapping his lightly on his behind.

They collapsed laughing.

“I really have to go,” Safdar said again.

“What time is it?”

“A little after five.”

“So the afternoon is over?”

“Yes.”

Aftab was silent for a bit, his hand rubbed his back idly. “You feel good.”

“Hmm,” Safdar said. “You too.”

“When can we do this again?”

“Next week as usual?”

“Monday?”

“No, you know that’s not possible. Saturday.”

“That’s a whole seven days away.”

“Call me if you get lonely.”

“Aren’t you afraid your partner will find out?”

“Not if I call you from work.”

“Doesn’t he wonder where you go on Saturdays?”

Safdar shrugged. “Girl things.”

“Girl things…” Aftab murmured and fell silent. Finally Aftab said, “Safdar?”

“Mm?”

“What are we doing?”

It was his turn to be silent. “I don’t know.”

“But it feels good?”

“Yes.”

Aftab hugged his tightly. “Do you ever feel guilty?”

“All the time.”

“Right now?”

“No.”

“Liar,” Aftab whispered.

“Lover,” Safdar replied, kissing his neck.

“What will you do if he finds out?”

“Do you want him to?” Safdar asked.

“Do you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you love me?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

Safdar raised his head to look at his brown eyes, now glistening dimly in the early evening sunlight. “You have the most beautiful eyes.”

“That’s my line.”

Safdar kissed him softly. “Does it matter?”

They both knew Safdar wasn’t referring to his compliment. Aftab was silent for a moment before whispering to his, “Yes. It matters.”

“It didn’t used to.”

“I was a stupid kid.”

“So was I.”

“So you knew about these things before I did. Some always do.”

“That’s a cop out and you know it.”

Aftab sat up abruptly. “What would you like me to say? That I’m sorry I didn’t fight harder to make it last when we were both kids?”

“No,” Safdar said, sitting up as well. “No.”

“How was I supposed to know this was the real deal? How was I supposed to know that you – “

“No, of course not,” Safdar said, stroking his back. “Of course not.”

Aftab didn’t turn around. “I love you.”

“I know,” Safdar said, his hand resting on his back.

“Are you going to leave him?”

It was the first time Aftab’d ever asked. The first time since they’d met at a class reunion three years ago. The first time Aftab’d ever asked him that question since they’d begun their affair a year ago. Safdar sat there silently as Safdar thought about what Safdar was going to say.

“No,” Safdar admitted at last.

“You don’t love him.” It was a statement.

“Yes I do.”

Aftab turned to his then. “You said you loved me!”

“I do. But we took vows… I meant them, Aftab.”

“Yeah? When? An hour ago when I was fu-cking the hell out of you?”

Safdar looked at him.

“I’m sorry,” Aftab said, expelling a long sigh. “I didn’t mean that.”

Safdar said nothing.

“At least… I don’t understand.”

“Maybe you will when you settle down.”

“Oh, please. Don’t give me that bullshit. You don’t understand this, but you will when you have a partner – like settling down gives you extra grey matter.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say that!”

“All right… I need to leave.”

“Right.”

Safdar got up and was at the bathroom door when Aftab spoke again.

“So this thing has a shelf life?”

Safdar turned back to face him. “Doesn’t everything?”

Aftab rubbed his face. “Yeah. But somehow… I guess I watch too many movies.”

“First love?” Safdar smiled.

“Yeah. Don’t tell anyone, will you? It’d probably destroy my street cred.”

“Like you ever had any,” Safdar scoffed lightly.

They stared at each other.

“Come here,” Aftab said, holding out his arms for his to crawl into.

Aftab smoothed away the tangle of black hair and looked deep into his brilliant black eyes with their thick fringe of lashes. The late sunlight lit their depths and turned his skin to gold. his lips were soft and pink, the scent of his cologne still discernible after all their hours of loving.

“Will you love me forever?” Safdar asked, smiling.

“And a day,” Aftab vowed, bending his forehead to rest against hers. Aftab rocked his gently against his body as they held on to each other.

“It doesn’t really mean anything does it?” Safdar asked.

“What?”

“Saying I love you. I thought it did when I – we – were young. Back then it seemed so important.”

“You don’t think its important now?”

Safdar looked at him. “You love me and I love you and then what?”

Aftab was silent. “It could mean something.”

Safdar nodded. “If I were willing to leave him.”

“Why aren’t you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because I love him.”

“Oh, come on Safdar – you really think any of this would have happened if you really loved this guy?”

Safdar didn’t say anything.

“Seriously?” Aftab asked incredulously.

“You’ve never met him, I’ve never really discussed him – how would you know?”

“Because you’re here with me!”

“And what does that prove?” Safdar looked him in the eye as he asked him that.

“It means – it means you love me goddammit!”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t love him though, does it?”

“Sometimes I don’t understand you,” Aftab said, getting off the bed and walking over to the window.

“No, that’s true. If I had been some poor man in need of rescue, if you could just be my knight in shining armor come to rescue me from my sad, miserable, lonely existence as a bored partner – then you’d understand me, wouldn’t you? Then I’d fit into your idea of me, of how I ought to be and then you wouldn’t have to deal with the real me. The me that you don’t understand. The me that has a life outside this room – a life that I like.”

“Weren’t you running late for something?”

“We’re always too late, Aftab. Always.”

Neither chose to break the silence. Aftab lit a cigarette and Safdar watched the lighter spark and light in the cool semi darkness of the room with its drawn cotton curtains.

“Come here,” Safdar said finally.

Still silent, Aftab padded over to the bed and sat down next to his.

“I don’t expect you to understand,” Safdar said softly, draping his arms around him. “I’m not sure I do, myself. But somehow, I’m okay with this. With you and I in this bedroom once a week and with him and me in that house the rest of the time. I don’t know if I love you more or if I love him more or how my feelings for him are so different from my feelings for you. But if you weren’t here right now – if you got off this bed and walked out of my arms, away from me forever, right this minute… I would be – I would be – upset. The same way I would be – upset – if Sarwar were to walk out of my life right now, this minute. Do you understand?”

Aftab drew deeply on his cigarette and then looked at his. “No.”

“Yeah.” Safdar looked down.

Aftab reached out and caught one hand and kissed it. “I love you.”

Safdar smiled a little.

“And to answer your question – or at least, I think to answer your question – it does mean something. Not when we were so young all we wanted to do was touch each other, not then. But now – now that I’ve touched you and held you and tasted you and … loved you. It means something, Safdar.”

Leaning across, Safdar kissed his forehead. “Even if it means something to you and something else to me?”

“Even if no one was ever able to tell me what that something is. It still means something.”

“I love you, Aftab.”

“I love you, Safdar.”

They held each other close as night drew nearer outside, knowing that while this afternoon had come to an end, another would soon come by.

Yasser,

C`mon, ``daffa ho jaao rakhsas kaminay`` was just plain gay :))))

Yasser,

C`mon, ``daffa ho jaao rakhsas kaminay`` was just plain gay :))))

``as for his private life, that`s his business. ``

But by gloating about his ``good times`` in the ``affair`` he supposedly regrets... he has made it our business...

whoa! ok, this is prolly my fault coz of my post to burpie so here goes -

manto - thank you for looking out for me. however, i dont think ranjit falls into the creepy uncle category encountered rather often here on chowk. he`s never asked any personal questions or tried to contact me off chowk or followed me from board to board, hallmarks of the creepy uncle syndrome. as for his private life, that`s his business.

ranjit - if any of the previous interacts were because of me, i apologize. thank you for sharing your story and i`m glad things worked out for you and your family.

And i`d like to end this nonsense right here please. thank you.