Muslims in Infidelistan: A Ready Reckoner

In the words of dear Saima Shah, I would also say:

``How could I have missed this!. Hilarious, smart and witty!!.``

How can a Matarrua have such a sense of sarcastic humour, I doubt?

#460,
Dear Mr. Naqshbandi,
Thank you very much for your appreciation.

#459 by SaimaShah on December 1, 2006 12:40pm PT
{``How could I have missed this!. Hilarious, smart and witty!!.

I loved the 27 kids trailing behind the 6 adults.. Way to go!!. O man I do so want to wear a Burqa and pray at an airport just to watch the reactions. Alas, such joys are denied me in my liberal modern incarnation:)
Thanks for this--I will send to as many people as I know.
Rgds
S``}


Dear Saima,
Thank you for posting your encouragement. When established and talented writers like you provide their encouragement and support, novices like me can only improve. Thanks.

Effing hilarious! Brilliant Salim sahib!

How could I have missed this!. Hilarious, smart and witty!!.

I loved the 27 kids trailing behind the 6 adults.. Way to go!!. O man I do so want to wear a Burqa and pray at an airport just to watch the reactions. Alas, such joys are denied me in my liberal modern incarnation:)

Thanks for this--I will send to as many people as I know.

Rgds

S

Ustad Lush Hay.

nandan #456,
Nandan, my good friend,
Thank you very much for your encouraging feedback. One of these days we will all be able to laugh at the trivial issues that we humans have created to make lives so difficult for all of us. I appreciate your appreciation. It means a lot to me.

Salim Bhai,

That was simply brilliant.Its was the funniest and wiitiest article I read on chowk.Congrats ,write a few more of these.

Regards

Nandan Nadkarni

Zehra`s Swan Song # 448:

``The beautiful legendary song sung only once by a swan in its lifetime, as it is dying.``

Bye Zehra, the ugly duckling. So sucking on your thumb did work, walking talking poison pill. Please do not bother to get up, stay dead and do not try to sing another song.

Please sign this petition. Islamic fundamentalism epidemic has killed far too many people and gone on for a few centuries too many without decent humans doing something about it. Now is your chance. The next step will be for the UN to push all Islamic countries to legistlate these into their respective constitutions, or face sanctions.


MUSLIM MANIFESTO: Like men, women should have the right to decide how they will live, dress, travel, marry and divorce; if they do not enjoy these rights, they are clearly second-class citizens.

MUSLIM MANIFESTO: All critiques of Islam should be countered not by threats and violence, but by rational counter-argument

MUSLIM MANIFESTO: We strongly denounce anti-Semitism. We accept Israel`s right to exist.

MUSLIM MANIFESTO: We accept the legitimacy of the secular state and the secular law. Islamic law, or sharia, was developed at a time when Muslims were living in homogenous communities. In the modern world, virtually all societies are pluralistic, consisting of different faiths and of different perceptions of each faith, including Islam. In this pluralistic setting, a legal system based on a particular version of a single religion cannot be imposed on all citizens.

MUSLIM MANIFESTO: We support and cherish democracy — not because we reject the sovereignty of the Almighty over people, but because we believe that this sovereignty is manifested in the general will of people in a democratic and pluralistic society. We do not accept theocratic rule

MUSLIM MANIFESTO: we cherish religious liberty. Every human has the right to believe or not to believe in Islam or in any other religion All Muslims furthermore have the right to reject and change their religion if desired

Read the complete manifesto and sign the petition here:
http://www.nationalreview.com/comment/akyol_baran200603010816.asp

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Re: # 442 dear zahraj

``The surgeries could save their lives, noted the physicians who perform them, because, according to some interpretations of Islamic law, if a male relative suspects them of having premarital sex, the woman is a criminal. In some countries, such as Saudi Arabia and Nigeria, the penalty could be death``

zahraj you are a sensible women/girl but try to understand that on suspesion a crime cannot be proved anywhere in the world and specially as per islamic law the premarital sex is prohibited but if the relatives suspect of prmarital sex then the burden of proof is on the relatives and they will have to provide four eyewitnesses to attract the Hudood law for the capital punishment. it is also considered in determining the sentence whether the culprit was married or unmarried. if unmarried then the punishment is whipping but if married then the death sentence is ordered.

do you have any precedent of death for premarital sex in saudi arabia or any where just for the relatives suspected.

i dont want to be rude with you which is nowadays is a norm here but in the next time be carefull in relating anything to islam or islamic law because these are very sensitive issues and before mentioning anyhting such issues you need to study it well then should come to any conclusion. otherwise you will plague islam by your raw thinking and wrong conclusions. which has already done severe damage to islam.

ghulam haider

Re: # 442 dear zahraj

``The surgeries could save their lives, noted the physicians who perform them, because, according to some interpretations of Islamic law, if a male relative suspects them of having premarital sex, the woman is a criminal. In some countries, such as Saudi Arabia and Nigeria, the penalty could be death``

zahraj you are a sensible women/girl but try to understand that on suspesion a crime cannot be proved anywhere in the world and specially as per islamic law the premarital sex is prohibited but if the relatives suspect of prmarital sex then the burden of proof is on the relatives and they will have to provide four eyewitnesses to attract the Hudood law for the capital punishment. it is also considered in determining the sentence whether the culprit was married or unmarried. if unmarried then the punishment is whipping but if married then the death sentence is ordered.

do you have any precedent of death for premarital sex in saudi arabia or any where just for the relatives suspected.

i dont want to be rude with you which is nowadays is a norm here but in the next time be carefull in relating anything to islam or islamic law because these are very sensitive issues and before mentioning anyhting such issues you need to study it well then should come to any conclusion. otherwise you will plague islam by your raw thinking and wrong conclusions. which has already done severe damage to islam.

ghulam haider

Re: # 442 dear zahraj

``The surgeries could save their lives, noted the physicians who perform them, because, according to some interpretations of Islamic law, if a male relative suspects them of having premarital sex, the woman is a criminal. In some countries, such as Saudi Arabia and Nigeria, the penalty could be death``

zahraj you are a sensible women/girl but try to understand that on suspesion a crime cannot be proved anywhere in the world and specially as per islamic law the premarital sex is prohibited but if the relatives suspect of prmarital sex then the burden of proof is on the relatives and they will have to provide four eyewitnesses to attract the Hudood law for the capital punishment. it is also considered in determining the sentence whether the culprit was married or unmarried. if unmarried then the punishment is whipping but if married then the death sentence is ordered.

do you have any precedent of death for premarital sex in saudi arabia or any where just for the relatives suspected.

i dont want to be rude with you which is nowadays is a norm here but in the next time be carefull in relating anything to islam or islamic law because these are very sensitive issues and before mentioning anyhting such issues you need to study it well then should come to any conclusion. otherwise you will plague islam by your raw thinking and wrong conclusions. which has already done severe damage to islam.

to every one

i am monitoring this article for last five days and thinking and rethinking and reeeeeeeeethinking and now i am thin-king on the things coming out here. now it seems like cartoon network and the ``tom and jerry show`` is on air. i hope people will agree with me.

Now Everyone is invited to help me out to decide:

who is tom and who is jerry??????????????????????????????????????

by the way chuha

---

n bhai what you want to be ? mind not to be jerry it compliments your name (salim_chuha-n) sounds good.

its just a slip of typing or might be tongue dont mind chauhaan.




ghulam haider

A swan song -

Before consummating their marriage, both Mrs and Mr. Chauhan were not able to consult an ob/gyn due to their repressive upbringing and regressive surroundings. As a result, Mr. Chauhan stayed obsessed with the subject and topic of women`s body parts. Now, he is expecting a baby in the near future. It does not seem that he was fortunate enough to talk about his fascination(s) with his wife. A recipe for disaster!

We hope and pray that in the future, newly married men(or those who are still learning after being in their marriage for decades) on Chowk address anatomy related questions with their sexologist or wives vs. exposing their lack of understanding in open. Although Chowk is about learning and sharing, but some of these sensitive subject areas better be learned and discussed in the confines of one’s bedroom. In order to do that, we strongly advise (and not advice) all married men on Chowk to spend more time with their spouses to develop a healthy emotional, mental and sexual bond. This ezine was not created to generate distance between the newly weds. If you are a newly wed and have been spending more time on Chowk than you do with your spouse, then please consult a psychiatrist asap. Please learn from Mr. C’s situation. By spending more time on Chowk, he has deprived himself from the initial learning opportunities he could have availed at home. As a result, he has reached a mental state where he only utters unpleasant hysterical outbursts. Apparently, he has developed an acute sense of depravation in all matters of life. We all hope that he consults a sexologist asap. In these tough times, we wish Mrs. C the best! Sit tight, Mrs. C! We are all praying for your spouse’s sanity.

Chowk’s Junta wishes both Mr. and Mrs. Chauhan a happy journey exploring each other with the help of a sexologist and authentic on-line research material. We hope that their exploration process will not cause a population explosion in the Muslim world :))))) May the couple discover peace and harmony in each other’s company. As a result, may we get peace and harmony back on Chowk! Amen.