Muslims in Infidelistan: A Ready Reckoner

This was a reasonably funny article, but Mr. Salim in one of his previous avatars was funnier, I think it was in the pre-KKK/BaraChota days.

I do object, however, to the bait offered by way of comments on tipping habits vis-a-vis Indians, and refuse to fall for it. Let it be known that even the camel jockeys in Sam now regard domestic Indian tourists as bigger and better tippers than anybody else.

``Slim Chauhan`` is an Irish name, indeed?

One more thing - splashing bottles of cheap colognes or fake ittar type ``perfumes`` is not suggested. Also, instead of Chivas, please carry a few bottles of Old Monk to distribute to your Indian friends.

I have yet another new recipe for my tally-ho type followers here, this one involves Bailey`s Irish Cream poured into a wide mouthed shallow glass, add cold kala-jamun crushed into large pieces like fat keema, add Old Monk and flash freeze. Then cover it with cognac and flambe the whole thing. Eat with tall steel ice-cream sundae type spoons.

Re: # 413

Dear Ferzana Mohtarrma,
This interactor is again trying to behave unprofessionally, simply because Salimdost`s article was printed.
Someone please ask her that why is not complaining directly to your esteemed self and instead she is whining. This post only shows her lack of adulthood and spoilt brat traits that she takes pride of.

Ferzana Jee, it would be better if you dealt with this individual seperately in email. On behalf of all chowkies, we really-really do not wish to hear anymore of her whining publicly.

Thank You and You are the best!!

Dear Editor in Chief:

With reference to post 412, you write:


``...As I had stated earlier, there is absolutely no reason for me to defend the selection of this or any other piece; the interactors can deal with the merits or otherwise of what they read on their own steam....``

Several interactors who have not taken issue with the majority of what has been printed on fp DID take issue with this piece. While some have pointed out that the reaction of interactors like myself, Sadna and Zahra are prejudiced his consistant derogatory comments about us, this is besides the point. MY point is that this ``humor`` is not very different from this interactor`s history of calling women prostitutes, etc. Its just repackaged with literally a couple (two) ``jokes`` about straight men that are matched by two ``jokes`` about queer men preying on straight men (or, subtextually, ``making`` straight men into women.) I did not even count those queer/women bashing ones....

This euphemism of ``steam`` is not an accurate account of the critique being offered here-and if the editor in chief is incapable of understanding what the critique is, she is more than welcome to ask us. I had to literally COUNT the number of ``jokes`` made at the expense of women for these critiques to be taken seriously. How funny is it now?

Does the Editor in Chief have to print everything that is submitted to her regardless of her own personal valuing of those submitted texts? I doubt it. I have submitted at least three poems that werent predicated on maudling or sleazy descriptions of sex....not a word. Meanwhile, that same work has been well received by a literary awards group and two journals will be publishing it. But this work does not ``suit`` chowk.com`s purposes. Go figure.

I don`t need my dap here-I am secure enough to know that my work is solid and appreciated in other south asian and american venues. However, I`m curious as to why people would want to contribute to chowk if articles like this one are judged to be High Art.

re:
``...It might be pointed out that not one of those who have been raising their voices has sent us any feedback against this piece...``

And why should we? Why are we expected to dignify misogyny and bigotry with feedback beyond this page?

re:
``...Besides, no one has to worry about no sunshine as the women’s history month comes to an end because I read that such months and days are not even noticed by some feminists because they are too busy; as it so happens, a good deal of time was taken up here to tell a man that he is not funny. ..``

And yet you`d have us spend a good deal more time writing earnest feedback ``responses`` to a piece the editors at chowk should have had the good sense not to post. No, this ball`s in your court, Editor in Chief. The time I spend was not directed at the writer of this piece, but in those who thought it was really funny.

Salim:

In #88 you were among those addressed: “I would also like to remind everyone here, including the writer, that this is not UP. Kindly desist from in-house name-calling.”

As the writer you should have tried to moderate the board, instead of responding to every reply that came your way. Once your piece is up here, it becomes your responsibility to a large extent to sift out irrelevancies.

You do understand that not everyone will like what you have written. Unfortunately, it sometimes takes several posts for them to make their point. Instead of getting involved in this, you ought to have seen that several FP regulars, including our writers, had positive or at least critically studied comments to make. (You still do not know what I think, and I do not have to like everything I publish. This should be a lesson for those who shout about freedom of expression and diversity of viewpoints.)

It was your job to have taken it on the chin once and moved on.
- - -
There was a charge of plagiarism that was unfounded; then there were comments about “lack of originality”, which is entirely a subjective POV; and now finally, issues have been raised.

This is an invitation to anyone – male or female – to submit a rejoinder to this article in the contribution form if they feel strongly about it; the article will have to deal with only the issues that have been raised after 350 posts.

As I had stated earlier, there is absolutely no reason for me to defend the selection of this or any other piece; the interactors can deal with the merits or otherwise of what they read on their own steam.

It might be pointed out that not one of those who have been raising their voices has sent us any feedback against this piece.

Besides, no one has to worry about no sunshine as the women’s history month comes to an end because I read that such months and days are not even noticed by some feminists because they are too busy; as it so happens, a good deal of time was taken up here to tell a man that he is not funny.

Some of you might like to join in dealing with ‘abusers’ by not expending this much energy on them.

I suppose women’s history month would include some proactive involvement. Re. putting up stuff on women, there have been two articles and a series of poems – the latter got a sarcastic comment from a woman interactor. For the rest, where were they? A sentence? Could these not have been discussed further?

And a man may profile a woman; a woman may profile a man. This is not a zenana.

If anyone here has substantial opinions they wish to formulate, then nothing ought to stop them. Just do what you can and do not demand what others ought to do.

It is far better to contribute with your ideas.

Thank you,
Editor

Re: # 406

Zahra,

Do we have any mutual friends on chowk? I don`t know how to get your email.

Salim sahib
Sir
I am already in your FAN CLUB. I can`t wait to read your next article. Please, do write another article soon. I hope you will not ignore my request and will consider writing another successful article ASAP.
Waiting impatiently
One of your fans.
Zeena

#407 I second to your post. Yes, You are 100% right, saminasha is extremely jealous. She is pathologic jealous. She is such a jealous, she can go to any extreme to prove she is right.

I congratulate chowk staff for publishing this beautiful and the funniest article by new , young and talented writer, Salim Chauhan, who has all the potential to compete on FP with originality of his genuine thoughts with out using cut and paste. I am sure, this young gentleman will rise like a shinning star as a thrilling writer on FP. I am highly impressed by his talent. I always knew he is talented. I always used to tell him on Un plugged to write up for front page. I am glad this young writer has made it and now is the super success on front page with all the hits and responses for writting a wonderful article. And, amazing thing is this is his first article. This is just the beginning...........

Thank you Salim for providing us with good sense of humor.

The Chowk editor is a fair and intelligent women with great writing abilities. Saminasha has always been jealous of her and continues to try everything to suggest negative things about here. It is so obvious.

Samina - March is considered to be the official women`s history month. I am completely disappointed by Chowk`s Admin. Rather than adding good stuff on women, they have started encouraging more abusers, stalkers and insecure fellas on this website. As a result, this month will come to an end and Chowk`s women will not see any sunshine.

It was a beautiful day outside - a little drizzle, wet roads, nice company and hot chai latte. Life is beautiful. Let`s enjoy it. You do not have to prove anything to anyone. Don`t let them get to you. You will always be disappointed by these fellas` thinking process. So, why even make repeated efforts ? Do I expect the aubergine-less and squash ball-less Kotex to mend his ways? No. But then he is accountable for his deeds and his jokes. I have resolved the mystery behind hy-men envy. Due to his poor comprehension skills, he thought that it was a way of saying ``hi`` to ``men``. So, he started saying ``hi`` to everyone on board. Let`s hope that Allah/God does not dish out one of her jokes on him. According to Uncle Newton`s 3rd law of motion, ``To every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.``

I am out of here. But I would like to stay in touch provided I have your email.

Best Wishes

Samina- Hi. Let me know your contact info. I do not know where else to post this note.

#381 Just a correction: It is ``Kotex`` and not ``Cotex``. Did you have something else in mind for Salim`s nick name? You are so right that men who are deprived of the necessary organ cannot DO anything :) Salim has acknowledged that. And now we all know the reason for his obsession with female parts. There is nothing to discover in this mystery anymore. Case closed!

Saminasha
Now remember only one thing in the rest of your pathetic life. I may even forgive some of women abusers,but, I will NEVER EVER forgive you for dragging my respectable mother and grandmother in to this bull fight.

Saminasha
I never claimed anything. I just said the truth on Mantolives FP article which was relevant to the article based on Pakistani women struggle for freedom movement and for struggle against patriarchy. Yes, my mother was a distinguished EDUCATIONEST and social worker. My grand mother was a distinguished MATHEMATICIAN (maths teacher). Yes, I helped and still helping and will help earthquake victims. Not only that I have so many projects for the poor people of my country. Do you wish to accompany me in December 2006 to Pakistan for another burn centre project in Rawalpindi? Then you are invited.

Ok, I will fax my mother`s degrees to you, my degrees to you and my grandmother`s degrees to you.
You know , just to prove my existence..............

You are STUPID, CRAZY Saminasha with NO SENSE at all. Just get a life, darling.

Saminasha, You are a walky talky JOKE . Yes, you`re. You have lost all your credibility in my eyes. I remember, when I used to admire your ideas, but, I thought you are a woman of principles and guts. I was wrong. Sorry, I was wrong. Yes, I am ashamed of myself of having a hihg opinion about you. Based on your abusive behaviour with me, I re considered my opinion.

Saminasha
Do you really know, what you`re talking about? Honestly, I have started worrying about your state of mind. Now, you are involving my mother`s education in your insanity. Really, people will laugh at your state of mind. You have just lost it, my darling, just lost it.
I do not need anyone`s identity here on this web site. Now, look at your pathetic behaviour, you are dragging my mother, my grand mother in to this bull fight of your`s. You are insane. What my mother, grand mother have to do with you? Haan.

What kind of devil you are? I am sure, you are not even human.

I don`t know amrita, JG or Temopral. I don`t wish to know anyone. I am not like you to investigate other`s idnetities, who is who?

Yes, If, you have strated this game of indulging my mother and grand mother in to this , then get ready for the same treatment.

Show me your mother`s picture on internet. How will I know, she even exists.

Look at your height of jealousy, that I mentioned on Manto`s FP article about my mother and grand mother`s achievements and their struggle for freedom of Pakistan. And, your pathetic low lying bizarre self couldn`t digest it and you have started abusing them as well. You are woman abuser, saminasha.

Have I ever mentioned , who you are? Have I ever inquired about you, your family ? Have I ever drag your mother in to any thread or board? Why you did that? Why you did that?

You have not only disrespected my grand ma, my ma ,but, also to the whole women clan by dragging those respectful ladies in to your insane, pathetic shameless fights with strangers on internet.

#397 by Saminasha on March 12, 2006 1:03pm PT
``.......You are just a loser, who needs something that I am unable to provide...``

case closed then.}}}

Saminasha loser
Case is absolutely not closed yet. It is just the beginning of your craziness. So, lets get crazy.................

Yup, I can`t give you something that can cool you down. You are unable to cool down yourself.

So, you ma and grand ma , are they even lil literate? Have they seen schools? Show us your existence on chowk. Show us your degrees, your family background to prove who you are? So, if you are unable to show us then case is closed ......................

SaminaJi is one of the Chowk community. Let no one attack her.

And I`m not laughing this time.

Whoa ... Zeena ... pull up Babe ...