Muslims in Infidelistan: A Ready Reckoner

Saminasha darling sweetheart
Take a chill pill, chillax, cool it off. Will ya?

Make a note of it. No matter how many times you harrass me on UP and FP for who I am , I will say it again and again.

I am saying it LOUD. Now sue me. Put me behind bars for this act of liking this article, if, it is punishable.

Yes, I like Salim`s FP article. It is the funniest article I have ever seen in my whole life. I love that article. I read it million times and will continue to read all my life. Not only that I will hang that article in my sitting room to read it daily.

Yes, I adore Salim`s FP funny article. It was the funniest. Sue me.

I adore Salim`s article and I will adore more articles from him in future. I already have posts of admiration for those unseen articles. Get ready.

If, you wish to compete with him, why don`t you write for FP and lets see, how many will respond?

Pathetic.

Pathetic.

Now I get it . All this stuff about hymenoplasties, cotex, safety pins, it`s all about the percieved hell cast upon the women but not upon the men. But Hey .... men have nothing to do with it. It`s Allah`s fault. Ask Him. Why fight here?

And the question remains if this article is so bad, why do Zahra and Saminasha collectively account for a large % of the posts here?

#375, Saminasha {more clearly than anything your creepy ass could excuse away.``}

Saminasha,
I don`t know about creepy, but your pictures are ample proof of your substantial assets - the creepy part in your case is the face. No doubt about it.

Saminasha,

You are making your own interpretations and conclusions about certain jokes - that is more your dirty mind at work than anything explicit written there.

You have written worse things and been downright filthy with your language.

#375, Saminasha,
I found more than 47 references to males in the article. So, now are you going to accuse me of misandry? When we talk about people, stupid, there are bound to be references to males and females.

#371, ZahraJ,
Not that I care about your damned hymen or where you lost it, please get a hold of yourself and relax. It`s bound to show up sooner or later. BTW, just in case I step on it, can you describe what it looked like so that we can return it to you undamaged. Listen, when you started devoting so much serious space to hymenoplastie, many of us rushed to find out the meaning of this intriguing craft. Before you enlightened us all, I didn`t know that they could do that.

Re: # 374

it must hurt that 10 out of 14 references make the case more clearly than anything your creepy ass could excuse away. i blame both you and the editor in chief.

#372, Saminasha,
You would never make an honest accountant. Cooking the books again. are you? That is the closest you ever got to culinary accomplishments. Listen stupid, you did not count all the references to suntans that would drastically change the ratio. Also, referring once to women does not necessarily make it a derogatory assault. For heaven`s sake, moron, one can refer to people and roughly half of them happen to be women.

At least you have helped prove my point that the humor is about both genders and even includes some mammals other than humans. I was not taliking about you, I meant the sheep.

Now, go back to your cooking class.

omigod, omigod, where are the namard beeyatches now, lawd?

In reference to:

``...Both you and Saminasha are incorrect in your charge that the humor in this article is restricted to female private parts. Perhaps that is the only part that your myopic eyesights and narrow minds can discern...``


And I quote:


1. ``Being a Muslim affects daily life in western countries where, ostensibly, freedom of everything, from cartoons to ice cream flavors and from dildo-less batteries to decaffeinated coffee, is paramount.`` Gender/Sexual Reference to: Female

2. ``Let’s face it, when you show up at the airport with your six inch beard, making your face look like a European beaver, your plastic portable lota in one hand, and a prayer rug rolled up in your armpit...`` Gender Sexual Reference: Male, Female; Face compared to Female Vagina

3. `` Always travel with only one spouse. Leave three of the wives at home. Better yet, in the west, it is more acceptable to travel and live with a girlfriend or mistress. You will blend in better and may even enjoy the variety – not that you need it with the four at home and 72 waiting in paradise....`` Gender Sexual Reference: Male Ownership of Female Bodies

4. `` Muslim women, who are almost always clean-shaven anyway, just need to discard that hijab, burka, chador, or similarly annoying accessory designed to emphasize lack of beauty...`` Gender Sexual Reference: Female Face and/or Vagina

5. ``..They suffer more than Muslims because of their turbans and beards and enjoy none of the benefits of suntanned manhood..` Gender Sexual Reference: Male, Penis

6. ``... They have not done too many bad things since the rape of Delhi in 1857...`` Gender Sexual Reference: Male Assault of the Female Body metaphor

7. ``...By the way, shepherd outfits are great because they don’t have zippers, which the sheep can hear from a mile away...`` Gender Sexual Reference: Male and mammal

8. ``... Muslim women should take off their shalwars upon departure from home. Perhaps they can tie the shalwars around the waist and look cool. In any case, they should make it a point to bend over now and then to emphasize unIslamic behavior....`` Gender Sexual Reference: Female

9. ``...Under no circumstances should you perform sijda in Athens or any other place in Greece. If you must perform sijda, make sure that you use a strong wall or corner as a cover. For my Pathan and Sardarji friends, this means facing away from the wall or corner...`` Gender Sexual Reference: Male Victim of Male Sexual Assault

10. ``...For my Pathan and Sardaji friends, the hairy-legged ones in skirts are the men. The ones with the hairy armpits are the women...`` Gender Sexual Reference: Male, Female Gendered Ambiguity

11. ``...you see a security official, immediately ask about locations of the best whorehouses, strip clubs, or even titty bars...`` Gendered Sexual Reference: Female as Object of Visual and Sexual Gratification

12. ``...You will be liked and might even get laid. If you are a Pakistani Muslim woman, unless you are in great shape, please do not impersonate a movie star. Indians won’t believe you because most Bollywood starlets are knockouts and in superb shape....`` Gendered Reference: Female as Object of Visual Gratification

13. ``...In France, there is a new atmosphere ever since Muslims made Paris into the real City of Lights. To blend in, you must act like a frog - drink... most importantly, if you are a woman, learn to give head. `` Gendered Reference: Female as Performer of Sexual Act

14. ``...When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Put on that short red skirt, but be careful when standing in line. Make sure that there are no Greeks or Macedonians behind you in the line – especially if you have to bend over to move your luggage....`` Gendered Reference: Male as as Victim of Male Sexual Assault

Total:

Derogatory Reference to Women 10 out of 14

Derogatory References to Gay Men (as Predators of Het Men): 2 out of 14

Derogatory References to Heterosexual Men: 2

Re: # 365

[Please chill, someone will find your missing hymen and return it to lost and found. ]

Is that what happened with the Turkish woman you decided to marry? I am sure it must be worth it after all she is supporting you.

i never thought that .....371.... and salim dost, a quick question: which do you prefer talking heads or giving heads?

and poor saminasha is contributing to this thread....wonders never cease to happen on chowk!

Re: # 365

Salim,

I told you that I never read your article(or an apology for one). I only responded to a few interacts where you have followed the same nasty drift that you do all over Chowk. You are obsessed with the topic of hymen. Did someone cut and steal your penise or balls with attached gems and you want to replace that with a woman`s hy-men? Do not blame my ilog feature. I can post whatever I want to. My context was completely different and the article was a sad and horrific eye-opener. It`s shameful that you started mocking that.

Secondly, you are repeating the same thing that you did a few years ago with the fellow hy-mem obsessed Plagoo. You took one of my ilogs and turned that into your perverted comments. Your cunning posts are pathetic. Again, I did not consider your article worth even going past the first para. Is your ego getting crushed due to your poor comprehension skills?