Muslims in Infidelistan: A Ready Reckoner

ATTN SALIM - You are hereby being Banned from entering into Afghanistan, Waziristan, etc. Although you have won an entry ticket to Jerusalem.

Copy paste and scan these words on your passports - with the endorsement Stamp from the higher authorities.

Yours truly,

Osama & Co.

Dear Salim

Good read. Excellent effort. Must confess not too bad.

You see as true Muslim you should not try Uri Cola or Cow Urine.

You should only drink the Camel Urine as Mohammad wanted you guys to do and better trow in some flies into the Camel Urine and you will be on the path of Sunnah.

I will quote hadith for my above statement

Bukhari:V7B71N590

“The climate of Medina did not suit some people so the Prophet ordered them to drink camel urine as a medicine.”

Bukhari Volume 7, Book 71, Number 673:

Narrated Abu Huraira:
Allah`s Apostle said, ``If a fly falls in the vessel of any of you, let him dip all of it (into the vessel) and then throw it away, for in one of its wings there is a disease and in the other there is healing (antidote for it) i e. the treatment for that disease.``

Enjoy guys.

``It is up to thoughtful Muslims to thwart the selfish designs of these nervous kaffir cowards. If good intentions, sincerity, and honesty cannot prevail then subterfuge, masquerade, and camouflage will be our salvation. ``

Very nice Salim. This is exacly what prophet has said. You are real Sunni on the path of Sunnah attaining the heights of Wahab with Salaafi sword. Good on you mate. May god give you good health and may he not forget us Kaffirs.

People like (#18,#19) arstoo are quite transparent in their idiocy. They copy paste statements trying to prove non-existant points, often picking up these ``quotations`` from Muslim sites that deny the authenticity of hadith reports removed 200+ years from the prophet that attribute everything imaginable to him. Get over it arstoo, Bukhari is not the Quran, neither was the prophet a messenger of Bukhari. If you want to prove a point on Islam, quote the Quran but make sure you understand what you are quoting or you prove yourself to be a damn fool, like you have done in #18 and #19.

Its quite telling that the Editor in Chief Farzana Versey finds the most mediocre work worthy of her front page....articles that are based on ideas stolen from the posts and interacts of other chowkies whose work never seems to make it there....

Re: # 9yes all those murder have a pretty good ration of 1 murder for 1 murderer.

That is the difference masadi.

Salim you are seriously funny and hilarious. The fact that thelikes of Beej and masadi have started whinning is an indication you have pitched it right.

#22, learn some math. Crimes against Americans are done by Americans, others are so minute that they are no factor whatsoever. It is best to shut up when you don`t understand what I was saying. The author is similarly being an idiot when he says that 83.6% of the `bad guys` happen to be Muslim. Facts don`t support either of you.

Is there any humor here? It`s plain trash that was not worth going past the first para. I guess that is equal to humor for some.

One of the funniest and wittiest pieces to appearon Chowk. I had heard of killing two birds witth one stone, but this is a massacre of birds of all kinds, worse than the Hinju chicken flu.

Then there are suicidal seagulls flying into the propeller blades, like Zahraj and Saminasha, who are hilarious as heck.

Zahra,

Reading this article from the NYTimes reminded me of how chowk.com is run. To wit:

``Mr Shata (or, the editor), too, was taking note. Things worked differently on chowk, where mosques were run as nonprofit organizations and congregants had a totalitarian yet self proclaimed ``democratic`` air. Mr. Shata was shocked when a tone-deaf man insisted on giving the call to prayer. Such a man would be ridiculed in Egypt, where the callers, or muezzinin, have voices so beautiful they sometimes record top-selling CD`s.

But in the land of equal opportunity, a man with a mediocre voice could claim discrimination. Mr. Shata relented. He shudders when the voice periodically sounds. ``

Editor in Chief,

Please post some maudlin poems that have the words ``blood``, ``scream``. ``echoes``, ``beautiful``, ``darkness`` next. We expect it.

Salim Dost,
I am glad that finally someone from the Muslim World got the enlightment to publish your article on Chowk. This was very hilarious-minus the Sikh part.

Mr Chauhan, As a Sikh, before the arrival of 9-11, I used to be treated as royalty from India wherever I went. In fact most of the Airports where I have been to already know how to differentiate between Sikhs and Muslims. Only ignorance is displayed by under-funded state troopers within states.

Last Friday I went to a famous Indian restaurant in MA that has the word ``India`` in it. owner of thi place is a Muslim and the bastard hates India and Sikhs like anything, it got apparent after listening to his views. But yet he would have Ganesh`s idol next to the cash register and display Yoga Posters outside and retain the name India in his restaurant`s name. Why????? Should`nt there be some kind of criterion?

Anyways, now that I know that Muslim world has some hope left due to your presence, I can rest in peace on my couch and watch some TV.

Do not carry Korans. If you do, then make sure that they are the cheap miniature ones for flushing down the toilets..

It is up to thoughtful Muslims to thwart the selfish designs of these nervous kaffir cowards. If good intentions, sincerity, and honesty cannot prevail then subterfuge, masquerade, and camouflage will be our salvation.

---

instead of trying to present a good image infront of those who do not understand Islam, are you suggesting people should give up their faith? islam is not something to be ashamed of or something to be practiced only in private...the whole point of the faith is lost if a person cannot be proud of it, might as well convert to something else then.
in my opinion your guidelines are a total disgrace.

Salim,
your artical is a mixer of laugh and concern.
concern is why should we hide our religion?
i think we should be confident , doing and carrying nothing wrong with us is suffice.
i have never been investigated on any airport.

Re: # 21
Saminasha,
Please do not comitt harakiri on this thread. There are no 72 Islamic Virgin-Muslim males for you to receive in heaven.

This was great, Salim. I laughed, reading about the attire and the four wives, especially because I had my own encounter of the fundamentalist kind a couple of weekends ago.

I was at the Body Worlds exhibition in Philly. And there they were, a man with a beard and a gatta, a long kurta falling way below his knees and get this, his jeans were about four inches above his ankles. Now, I`ve seen takhnay wala pyjamas but never a jeans version. Of course he had his two wives (one wife and one sister? mother? one wife and one cross-dressing male lover?) it was difficult to tell really since they were all dressed in black and looked like fierce ninja warriors. Okay, maybe they were his disguised bodyguards...hmmm? They had about five kids (well, he was young still, probably not married for that long to wife..errr...bodyguard number 2, so there was time) and the wives (or whoever) were walking a few steps behind him.

Now, really...who would not stare at such an interesting group? Most people were trying to be polite by not staring too openly but I couldn`t resist sneaking several long glances.