The Body Collectors

Re: # 8

Thanks bjkumar, I was beginning to have doubts over quality of this write up.


Anil Kala

I forgot to add that your power of description is quite good - the account here is vivid. I still think you could have done more things with it. So, do keep up the effort.

Re: # 5

Apparently we are on two ends of generation divide. I had difficulty reading your post but not understanding it. Thanks for reading.

Well
after a long time got back at chowk and was attracted to this article just with da words
laash odhne some wht like that
i have read all da contents but the point of weakness i found is ur imaginations were beyond da point or u had ur material but dont have concentrated to write da reall points
still would like to praise ur attemp and nice ashaars at the end !
Ahsan Hussain
simple_ahsan@hotmail.com

Well
after a long time got back at chowk and was attracted to this article just with da words
laash odhne some wht like that
i have read all da contents but the point of weakness i found is ur imaginations were beyond da point or u had ur material but dont have concentrated to write da reall points
still would like to praise ur attemp and nice ashaars at the end !
Ahsan Hussain
simple_ahsan@hotmail.com

Well yes, the radio has no relevance to this story neither those two characters. But you can’t tell a story in just two paragraphs. Think of it as “samaa baaNdhanaa”

Thanks for reading at least.

This is pretty piognant work, although IMO would have served better as the opening chapter of a novel, since the reader seems to get lost on the context at some point. An attempt to squeeze a novel down to this size has rendered the material a bit incoherent, the prolonged description of radio and stuff does`t do any good to building up a plot strictly irrelevant. But Anil, you should seriously try your hands on a novel; your attention to details is very enthralling, and some ideas are very well laid out. Keep writing.

There`s something profound herein .... trying to find it .... perhaps given time.

Usually nightmares follow disturbing real-life incidents. In this case, they seem to have preceded it.

This write-up should have been two or more writeups on different topics - it would have been less disjointed then.