Different Strokes

it`s kind of demeaning to pay lip service to `international women`s day` by clumping four female writers together

We welcome these voices, and their being put together while holding onto their diverse identities says a lot about being secure. It is demeaning to belittle such an ability.

As we said in the introduction: March 8 is International Women`s day. We present four new voices here who have conveyed with simplicity their even more simple thoughts. Today may be just another day but each day counts.

Simple poems by simple girls, who are just new to the world of poetry. Just few words of encouragement. Pure reflection is better than the pseudo one, former ultimatley wins over latter. Simplicity leads to purity. Take care, keep it up.

Each poem asks some very good questions! more later

Some real nice poetry there. I like the last one the best. I liked the vanity in the 3rd.

Happy women’s day to all.

Every one is like a breathe of fresh air. Congrats to all.
``Nights Lost sleep`` is wow!.
``wide eyes of the dawn `` reminded me of lams kay pahlay khwab ki hairat from something i read somewhere else(dont remember where :-()
And by the way ``kohl in your eyes / persistent liar `` is NOT a simple thought. :-)
Seema, hope to read more from you.

Sorry, none of the four poems did too much for me. Perhaps I am not in the right mood, what with all the ``excitement`` around - or perhaps because I am not a woman.

First poem - I do not find it very credible (however, I appreciate the poetess having tried to shape it and streamline its form and shape - it involves more work than many realize) - women being put on pedestal has never been true for the vast majority - it has always been being marginalized. It rings very hollow unless one is confined to a small domain.

Second poem - too many ``no``s - highly negative! (But easier to understand and short.)

Third poem - it appears too long to me - and also it appears highly self-absorbed - too many ``I``s.

Fourth poem - I like short lines and fewer lines - perhaps it is a bit more understandable than the rest of them in some ways - yet also can become more abstract if one starts thinking too deeply. (Does anyone use ``kohl`` these days?)

My complaint regarding putting them together is simple - how do you expect the reader to avoid comparing them - these are works of four separate individuals and should never be compared side-by-side! It will always end up being unfair to some of them.

I liked the finality in the second poem.

The third poem seemed to be let down a bit in the last verse. Somehow ``got ready in a jiffy`` didn`t seem to fit the mood though the last two lines were great.

The fourth poem brings up wonderful images, but what is it, `` restless minds ... unfulfilled dreams ....?`` Why the tears (running streaks) ??

Re: # 4

dear saminasha

look forward to your comments ...

seema

I’ve come online after a long time...it is a very nice surprise to see my poem published.
I don’t remember in the least whether I posted the context of the poem too, and without it the poem makes less sense. I wrote it after the October 8th earthquake, and now that I read it after some time, I find it a wee bit melodramatic…but I was feeling lots of very strong emotions then.

About the poem being self absorbed…hmm…I was trying to draw a comparison between the victims n myself in order to analyze the truth of the situation. When a comparison is drawn it undeniably demands that the two contrasting situations or agents be put on one scale n then measured. One agent is “I” n the other is “they”. So the “I’s” are part of the pattern of the poem, nothing more…the poem isn’t about me, it is actually about them.

It was fun reading all the differing opinions. Thank you all for your kind encouragement, it means a lot.

Farah Shams.

#10
Ms. Imran

Thank you for explaining the context. I withdraw the ``self-absorbed`` statement. This is indeed a very well-written poem - it`s highly genuine. Please keep writing.

Re: # 11

Thankyou for the positive feed back bj...your earlier critique made me realize the need of context in this poem...without it the poem really does sound ``highly self-absorbed``...

Mariam Riaz,

Reality, I think, is dualistic. One must learn humility to achieve greatness. Thanks for writing.

Nahida Sunil,

Your poem had an affect on me that I feel after reading a haiku poem; a scene played out, in slow motion. Thanks for writing.

Farrah Shams,

I could be wrong, but I have a feeling that you wrote this poem owing to the events of October 8th; the earthquake that devastated the lives of many. Your words dissipated and metamorphosed to reality the emotions of sad souls. Thanks for writing.

Seema Kurup,

An abstract poem, there. Nevertheless, these verses struck me:

darkened, inky mind
come, heed me now

come rest wanderer
come tire no more...

Thanks for writing.

Peace!

Re: # 13

Epiphany,
You are right.I did write the poem after the October 8th earthquake.

Farah Shams.