Internet Relationships – Blessing or Curse?

The author writes <<< There is no doubt that the internet has revolutionized how we communicate with the rest of the world >>>

On the contrary there is much doubt about any beneficial ``revolution”-taking place. The internet fits into the same tradition of making all human relationships superficial and ``touch and go``, put into place by industrial capitalism, similar to the TV that played its role in breaking up community, fire side tales and social tradition. All steps towards the dumbing down of the human race as detailed prose is replaced by short memos or one liners and smilies, while the onslaught of corporate culture colonizes social tradition. Much more effort and as a result, sincerity and concern, went into the snail mail letter writing than goes into emails, the letter as such has lost its literary value.

That said, Sohail sahib, tahmed is in dire need of your Internet psychiatry services. He has been obsessing over my posts and imagining them even when I don`t post. I am gone a few short hours and he is already worked up about why masadi hasn`t written on here. What label from the DSM fits his ailment?

hey....good one....internet relations r fascinating and contagiuous....and in Pak.....they seldome seems to work....people dont usually tell dramatic lies...like being unmarried or being a female...they juss perfect the hole ....like......pretending to be rich,...or living in aposh area...or having three affairs simultaneously.....many are bogus...lol
online you have the chance to be what u want to be...u can pretend to be a doc...even if u r a delivery nurse
once a british freind told me....she asked a guy to send him his pic....and he send it.....she replied......``DO YOU THINK I DONT KNOW WHO Sharukh KHAN IS!``
but i learnt alot.....from people who otherwise wont let u peek into their worlds...who usually put down their masks online and appear in their real selves.....sometimes the abusers and the abused.....one was paralyzed, another was a shemale....and some very precious freinds who r always jussa click away.....

Finally some one to throw light in this sort of issue. This marvelous technology sometimes toys with our emotion and the result are davestating. Great Work Khalid Sohail

An article way overdue!

Writer,

Can you explain the psychology of male uncle type interactors who accumulate several nics of both genders? Is this cyber tranvestitism?

Dr Sahib. Very informative. You should shed some light on Cyber also. Where sexually frustrated men and women Cyber and have sex by using keyboard (fingering has a new meaning now). It is quite fascinating that the dopamine that gets released by just the thought of doing a 20 year old chick, that in reality might be an 80 year old retired gay butcher from Rapid City South Dakota.

``Being a practicing psychotherapist....``
``As a student of human psychology...``



hahhaha, oh my lord, someone must have been high when publishing this sophomoric `article`

Internet relationships are like fast food. It disappears as soon as it seems to be handed on a platter. Internet is a mask, a veil - people can cleverly camaflage their true colors. One should never get carried away.

Internet is also an open paradigm - it is like a ``chowk``, a cross road. There you can meet the good, the bad and the ugly. One needs to keep one`s common sense perspective. And above all one should enjoy what one can get out of anonymity and such a wide scape.

Most internet relationships end in Hatha Pai (masturbation) or vibration. The rise of dating sites on the internet is an indication of sexual depravation and lonesomeness in today’s society caused by increasing pressure on being independent – financially, emotionally, and otherwise. One of the beauty of joint family systems is that it offers opportunity for romance and sexual misadventures, hence reducing a need to go online looking for adventure.

Yes, the author is right about internet relationships, but the mirror always has two faces.
Internet broadens the field where one can find one`s match. Yes, the internet can be a meat market with guys ready to hookup and engage in casual sex, but there are some very nice guys out there who are sick of the bar scene and want to meet somebody nice. Internet dating provides that avenue, and its easier to find exactly the person one may be looking for. One can go through profiles and pics, and contact the person one is most attracted to, whether the attraction could be to a person`s physical appearance, education, personality, or a combination thereof.

There is nothing wrong with internet dating in my view, and most things wrong with the intentions of people. One cannot be sure of people`s intentions in real life dating either, so one must have one`s guard up always. That is just good sense when dealing with strangers, whether we meet them in real life or the internet initially.

Internet provides the ability to get to know a person provided they are being honest. Not everyone who is on the internet is a liar or a cheat. As I said before, there are genuine people out there. As the author says,`` Internet like any other medium is as useful or hurtful as the people who use it``. So very true.

Kyon Bhai Khamkhwa saab=dr sohail,
Tussey Kaddon tau daaktar ho gye.

Chowk pe Laundia baaje band kar....

``Doctor`` Sohail,

Please shift your stuff to unplugged. We there are in dire need of your advice.

Since Dr Khalid Sohail is a practicing psychotherapist, I expected his article to have a little more polished professional approach towards the subject.

I think the writer has done a flimsy job of mixing human psychology with a wonderful modren technology. Internet chat or email is one of the numerous applications of Internet.

Extra marital or freindly relations developed by communicating through phone are no different than one developed through Internet. Internet is only a vehicle, rather a set of standards, for the Intercommunication of computers.

Perhaps the Dr wanted to write about the explosion of friendships and personal realtions after the open availability of Internet communications to all and sundry. In a closed society where opposite sex have little chance to meet and flirt excpet through clandestine methods, it did precipitate a boom.

The cause of social problems from relationships developed throgh widely available Internet is not the INTERNET. The Dr would have done a better job, if he had pointed to readers the real causes , symptoms and cures of the problems he narrated in his writing.

Please do not Blame Internet for the deficiencies of your culture or tomorrow some MMA like zealist will ban its use completely (The Internet Cafe have already been forced to close by Vigil Ante Mullahs in many NWFP areas).

I just wanted to add a little bit to your very informative article. Thankyou for bringing this topic to the forefront.
Internet is another medium of communication but the only difference is we dont know who and what is on the other end of the computer screen. We protect ourselves against strangers and dont open our doors if we dont know. On the other hand we rarely protect ourselves from the strangers we willingly invite in our homes thorugh the fantastic medium of internet.
Internet relations can be beneficial in the respect that you can reach a much wider audience but in the same breath it can be dangerous if we are not careful. There are certain do`s and dont`s of internet dating.
1. Never tell the other person your real name and phone number. You will be surprised how easy it is to fill in the blanks.
2. Always be on your guard. Always ask pertinent questions.
3. Dont be afraid to question the other person.
4. Never send your pic. You dont know where your pic may end up.
5. Dont brag unless you want the other person to brag and lie too.
6. Make sure you know what your motive is for internet dating.
7. You can gauge the intentions of the other person by his/her bahavior. Some kind of decorum must be maintained while chatting with the other person.

It is important to realise that internet is not a magical port of unheard magical destinations rather a journey which begins and ends with the communication of two people. Who these two people are is up to you to guess.

Your topic is interesting and kind of relevant as well. I find it real weird when people spend hours on chat groups and emails vs. picking up the phone and talking to each other to either strengthen a friendly bond or get a romantic pang or experience a disconnect.

For a working professional, the internet dating route is kind of ridiculous. At work, when a person spends a good chunk of time in developing business documents, then he or she is kind of married to the internet to begin with. There is less motivation to go back on the internet typing away romantic stuff and looking forward to be diagnosed with a carpel tunnel syndrome. Staying connected has a different expectation level. When it comes to dating, one has to meet the chosen birdie either face to face or talk over the phone, otherwise it`s a waste of time at the expense of your health (emotional, physical and mental).

Internet can be used as a powerful networking tool. And networking also results in bonding and building relationships based on common features - areas of interest, profession, thought process and various other criteria. You are connected to the whole world. But I am not sure getting emotionally connected in a long distance is a good idea. In my opinion, it is a recipe for disaster but then there are exceptions.

Although your focus is ``internet relationships``, still I feel that any relationship can either be a blessing or a curse. Internet relationships are no exception. We can change the curse to a blessing or turn the tables around. The power lies within.

khalid sahib
It looks like you enjoy your full life of internet mysterious world. Good, carry on. Since, the invention of this internet world. We have three world, one is the real one, second is the under ground mafia world and third is this mysterious internet world, where people like you love to spend their lives for the rest of their lives. They spend their time typing key board till fingers start bleeding.......................................................................................

I am going to hide myself from this world soon.............................

Re: # 9-[Not everyone who is on the internet is a liar or a cheat.]

once in an internet cafe..where i was a regular..was checking out and the attendant asked me to check in one cabin where the user was experiencing one problem..

it happened to be the person who was running a restaurant..(of course not a Ph.D)..and totally illiterate..and i was not even aghast to see his window screen which had 9 window media players running with different porno stuff and that got stuck.and y wouldn`t it..even the computer was bz in hatha pai (it seemed)..

a man with no formal education..and running a computer..what would u call this..Internet Revolution..??

P.S- i had to restart the computer anyway..poor fella..had to lose everything the half way...