Doctor, Can You Give Me Something for the Pain?

Re: # 35
interesting observation about the consonants and the vowels
and being a die hard lahori.... loved your comment
not to mention i love karachi as much....

Re: # 28
Why are people making me look bad in her eyes?
I was merely curious. Before I came to Amreeka, Icould`nt have believed Minhas as Paki.

that is why I expressed my surprise, I was only trying to ask her nicely because she had mentioned in the past that she is Pathan. Now how can Minhas be a Pathan?

Minhas are simple Jamindaars, they can be occasionaly bad in Bhatinda area, one I know used to steal water from the pipes for his land. But otherwise they are nice people.

...as a recent transplant to karachi from my beloved lahore, even a diehard lahori like me will admit that she feels much more comfortable on the streets of karachi, the lanes of zamzama and the dusty tracks of the sunday bazaar (i could live there!) than she did in the gullys of liberty or amongst the never ending parade of shops and restaurants on mm alam back home....

Re: # 37

Shah Ji. Today’s news is that Iranians have for the first time, since the revolution, lifted a ban on women to attend games in stadiums. However, strict segregation will continue to be observed just to keep women from corrupting the men and making them want to do bad things . How so wonderful, Iranian women can now watch a bunch of bearded pigs play soccer. Long live Islam.

talking of muslim misogyny -- let me get you a real treat of Mother of all Misogynies from Iran:

``..... what do you do when your country is being charged daily of secretly working towards achieving nuclear weapons capability, and threatened with sanctions and possible military action?

When faced with such a scenario, most rational leaders would try and strengthen their country’s defences, rally diplomatic support, and strive for national unity. And what did Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad do? He launched a crackdown on women wearing ‘un-Islamic’ dress.

London’s Guardian of 20 April informed us that henceforth, Iranian police will arrest women ``failing to conform to the regime’s definition of Islamic morals by wearing loose-fitting hijab, or headscarves, tight jackets and shortened trousers exposing skin.`` It would appear that women who wear tight jackets or loose-fitting hijab distract those manning Iran’s defences and therefore must be locked up.

And if this doesn’t bring Western imperialists and the Zionist enemy to their senses, President Ahmadinejad has also proposed a bill in parliament to raise the fine for owning a satellite dish antenna from $100 to $ 5,000. Obviously, Iranians cannot be allowed to know what’s happening in the rest of the world.

To make sure the dress code is strictly observed, the government has made taxi drivers responsible for ensuring that their female passengers are suitably attired. The police has been authorised to impound cabs carrying women not conforming to the law.``(Irfan Husain)

we Muslims are getting crazier by the day.....

#35, Kulharee,
Most rickshaw drivers in Karachi happen to be Pathans from the north - even a few Punjoos. :) You won`t find many locals driving rickshaws.

Other than all your female friends named with vowels, and male friends, with consonants, this is pretty funny stuff. A social commentary that can be true for any big city in Pakistan. Lahore is the same as Karachi, but the Rickshaw drivers there wont so openly propose for having an intercourse, but will slow down next to an alone woman, pretending to be lost, ask her where Shahalmi is, and if she would like to go for a ride with him. Lahoris are classiers.

and on your european friend`s experience....
i feel sorry for her and more so i feel sorry for our pervert society....

but may i add that it might have been because the european media itself portrays its people as such... a society where one night stands and phenomenon like dogging et cetera are ubiquitous.... so people like that rickshaw wala tend to think it`s very easy to talk a european into bed

now i`m NOT AT ALL trying to justify the actions of that rascal rickshaw wala but you won`t find anyone saying something similar to a pakistani female unless of course she has slut written all over her

Great read shandana..... for once there is something to laugh ``with`` at chowk
loved the subtle but abrupt changes in situations.... whilst sticking on to the women-rights issue

when in your atcile teaser, i saw there was a ``list of situations where (your) gender is actually an advantage in (our) homeland``, i had made up my mind to make a positive remark for once seeing someone from the fairer sex to have actually realized that women do HAVE more rights in ``urban`` pakistan (if i may use this as a collective noun for all the big cities in pakistan, which actually count to 3 only).... but now i`ve read your article

by the way... to make your list slightly longer, you might add
- getting a seat in a public transport as soon as you get on it even when a 70 yr old male has been standing there for the last half an hour
- having a quota for female students in universities when the ``open merit`` is equally open to them as it is to males
- getting preference when a male boss is hiring a secretary

i know that all the cases expressed ut supra can be contested but so can be those where females feel they are victimized

there is ‘almost’ nothing that a woman in her right state of mind would want to do but can not, while living in Pakistan

while on this, can you please give me some exceprts from your very long list of the situations where your gender is actually a disadvantage


P.S.: before all you women-rights-advocates take your swords out to chop my hay-filled head, let me make it clear that i`m actually an advocate of better woman rights but i believe that the issue is blown out of proportions most of the time

Shandana Minhas,

One of the things I notice about Pakistan, everytime I am there, is that the people, including politicians, feel like they are with their country, owing to a causal tragedy. When what they, including me, need to feel is a part of our homeland where the distinction between `I` and `us` blurs into a single reality. As analogy, when I want to drink water to quench my thirst, I always make an effort, with my many body parts, to synergize and accomplish the task; I do not hold internal conferences and debates within myself for this. The fat bureaucracy in Pakistan needs to realize this, that they have one option and that is to work together to secure Pakistan from destructive elements, internal and external, and align it to follow the track to destination progress, period. Singapore and Israel are two excellent examples of this, that a country can become an example of success.

Regarding the women, it is incredibly hard to figure what Islam dictates their ideal role to be. On the one hand of extremity are bold women, sometimes clad in semi-transparent `kameez` with their `shalwar` (bra visible) doing almost everything to compete head-on to succeed in a cut-throat world where the literacy rate is hardly 25% and where per capita income is about USD300. On the other extremity are women who stay at home, trapped between critical and enslaving ideas of orthodox `islamism` and its ideas expounded by their uneducated kin. What is the true role of women in Islam? Where Islam is a spirit`s metaphysical ascent; an enlightened success; the path to a good life.

Many a men are sexually confused because, while some are not married, others do not feel or exercize sexual intimacy with their wives. Islam allows a man to marry upto four wives under certain extreme situations, but at base it also makes it clear that a man can truly love only one. Women, pending on their understanding and living their Islamic role, can be faithful to God and yet make their men love them by giving them what they desires, pending perceived understanding and appreciation of what these men get. I am also not advocating that women become slaves to men.

We are a society based on Faith, Islam. Islam, like any other religion (not ideology, mind you) is a composition of dogma and spirituality, where there is clear distinction between essence and substance. How many people, to begin with, understand this? It is not enough to blindly, strictly, and conservatively follow the rule of Islam. We need to, first understand what Islam is, its essence, and then deconstruct the meaning of its dogma, substance, before we can in spirit delve into it with our beings, wholeheartedly, and assimilate our souls to become its current to flow with it, into it, through it.

Peace!

Shandana you rock - as usual.

BTW, it is nice to see regular contribution to chowk from you again.

Aslam644 #26, {``maybe he could have tried humour.
in the film Alfie micheal caine says that if you can make a married woman laugh, you can get her into bed. ``}

Aslam,
Hmm ... let`s see ... :) I ain`t sayin nuttin. :)

shandana,

why do i feel that your tongue is in both sides of your cheeks reading this? i`d wink at you, but i`m not sure if i should...

also, please, your baby`s diapers don`t need to be ironed...that is just too social standing for my comfort...but kudos to you for self disclosing....

#14 Dillivalla,

Minhas is a very common name in Pakistan, before it was Sikh, it was probably Hindu or Muslim, (remember both these religions were in India well before Sikhism)

My ancestors were also Sikh and Hindu and not that long ago, only 5-6 generations ago! But they were, and are Punjabi, when they were Sikh, Hindu and Muslim. Religion is not important but coming together as a people is much more important than that.

You cannot say that one is better than the other, and this is our weakness, as soon as we put this religion centric approach behind us, we can rise as human beings, with core values (that all these religions supposedly teach).

Anyways
jeenda reh, sukhi reh

Ally

excellent. superb.

miss minhas
The problem in our country is lack of education, if the rickshaw driver had been educated, he could have tried poetry. i did try once, shakespeare `` shall i compare thee to a summer`s day? ``. a good enough pulling line i thought, `` don`t even think about it paki `` was the english blonde`s reply.

maybe he could have tried humour.
in the film Alfie micheal caine says that if you can make a married woman laugh, you can get her into bed. that doesn`t work for me-not even in my own home.

Beautiful. Why don`t you write more often?

Any plans for a book? Believe me, those women smoking in the capuccino bars will die to buy your stuff, even if they may not be bothered to read it!

Dilli bhai, I wrote a qaseeda for you on unplugged. ja ke paRho te sahi.:-)

Re: # 17
Nothing really, just curious....

Very nice.

this was a nice read.

1. why iron onsies and diapers? Dont you have the tumble-dry?
2. this was a glimps of low-class men eyeing/harrasing/mysogying high-class women. are there some examples of high-class men doing this to low-class women? say, sahebji caressing the maids ungal when she brings him the breakfast Tropicana? In short, is it a class issue or a gender issue?

Re: # 1
[a hot Hizra]

...gawd...these injuns flaunting their urdu makes me sick...it`s ``hij Ra``...for god`s sake...

One way to come to terms with `eve-teasing` is by acknowledging economic disparity. The O-A levels vs peela school; MTV audience vs pushto film connoisseurs; rural migrants to the urban sprawl vs expatriates coming home. All this translates to different sensitivities towards genders.

There is no gods-given right to flash your lifestyle and preferences when the people around you feel deprived. They are not social misfits, just regular folks reacting to the enlightened `THumkas` around them.

Shandana Minhas, {``...the list of situations where my gender is actually an advantage in my homeland, it still seems to be a very short list. A very very short list. ... Pay bills in separate line, yep, that’s a good one.``}

Shandana,
I really enjoyed reading this article. I like your unique style of building up a scene and then suddenly deflating it with a thunderous sound of mundane mediocrity. You did it so beautifully with the opening of your article, then the interaction with the driver - only to end it with your possession of a learner`s permit. :) LOL - that was really funny.

As for the advantages of being a male, one of the few ones that I can honestly be glad about is the ability to urinate standing upright. I feel so fortunate when I look at the long lines of females waiting for relief at major sporting events and at theaters.

As for the profane rickshawalla, your friend E should have responded ``You can`t and that is why you drive a rickshaw.`` Keep writing, my fellow Karachiite, you are very good at it.

Delhiwala: what is this keeRa in your aaa...mind? hain? do you do that in reality also? walk upto people and comment on their ancestory in a accusing or suggestive manner?

The solution is simple: discharge the sexual tension in our society. Open bars, clubs and beaches. Encourage women to get out of the house, encourage them more strongly to wear provocative dresses, encourage pre/extra-marital sex, and watch how our misogynistic society turns into a liberal haven in less than one generation. The trick is to overload the senses of the male half of the population and banalize sex and sexuality to the point that it becomes boring. Then, no woman will be harassed, as there will be no need to harass; it will be more in line with the free-market economic principles and we will have a supply-side situation.

Regards,
Irfan.

PS: Only one thing I disagree with in this article, and that is the assertion that women are somehow paid lesser wages in Pakistan.

Very nice read and humorous. Made me smile many times.

seems like standard procedure in Pakistani upper class to escape realty by slipping into Cappuccino Cafe or DD?:-) [nothing wrong with that...I usually escape reality by logging on to internet:-) ]

Ms Minhas,
Do you know that your ancesstors were Sikhs at some point in history?

Good article though!!

loved the article as always

A

Shandana
Wonderful article. You really brought images to life.

Re: # 10

ms. nadia,

...... i apologize for criticizing your unique and beautiful use of the language - i guess i had too much coffee this morning .........

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``First chance I get, I’ll whisk her off to one of those new cafes, where reality doesn’t go because it can’t afford the cappuccino.``

Actually, this reminds me of seeing reality working in one of those fancy cafes. And when this girl`s shift was over - i saw her donning a proper hijab and a proper burqa over her fashionable cafe-outfit before she took off. It is always amusing to see how in-your-face, the whole class-circus gets on a karachi street.

great piece.

Shandana:
Excellent piece. Equality of genders in Islamic context is superbly described in: ``They are equal in a way that man and woman can never be.``
Mohammad Gill

this was simply wonderful and a joy to read, even though misogyny is a malignant disease that infects most men (and increasingly, women) in pakistan ............

Shandana,

Such a collage, different forms creating a new whole. A dhobi, infants/toddlers, bearded Mullahs, a harrassed Gori, a driver, the water man ... and a hijhra to bind them all together ... lol.

Good work.

[......First chance I get, I’ll whisk her off to one of those new cafes, where reality doesn’t go because it can’t afford the cappuccino.]

You wouldn`t be making a sly reference to our Editor here, would you? (Evil grin)

Very funny and yet so touching! There is a spontaneity to your writing which is very original.

They all show up - a mad Mullah, a hot Hizra, a ``helping`` hubby, an dirty dhobi, and a rascally rickshaw-driver. I think that the ladies of Pakistan indeed have a very FULL life!

Good luck with that driver`s license. Don`t get into any accidents! You may run into a crooked cop!

[....ball bearings, and everyone knows they always roll in the right direction should you care to chop and toss.]
Ball bearings actually can roll both ways, indeed!