Hidden Desires

#18 Salim Chauhan

Frankly, Ozer`s response to any criticism - no matter how severe - and I have observed such criticism at close hand and inflicted some myself in the past - is a gentle response.

Ozer`s technique may be lacking - but that is simply a question of learning - but it is obvious to any one who has watched him that his is simply a gentle soul - the soul that runs through ALL poets. (The soul that T-bhai embodifies. This is not the first time that gentle poets have been run out of town.)

This contrasts sharply with - for example - you sir, with your God-given gift of ``humor`` - which reminds me of a clown.

But not the circus clown who is the source of such mirth, amusement and pleasure for little children.

More of a clown of the IT variety (as in the Stephen King novel) - there is a streak of cruelty therein which can turn one off. It is manifested in a variety of ways, but in especially how you snap back at individuals whose expressions you disagree with.

I realize that individuals may have more to them than what appears on these pages. People can be wrong at any time. But I can form opinions, like anybody else.

(Your comments on my English are another example of the same streak! And yes, I am not Indian - I am an American!)

Dearest Salim Chauhan

nasil siniz ? hangi shehir de siniz simdi ?

As per usual, I offer a deep gratitude for your hearfelt thoughts on the poem herein. In your interaction you referred to Mir Taqi Mir who I feel laudably graced the South Asian poetic landscape, in his solemn loneliness and melancholy spoke volumes to the people of passion.

Byron is another favourite of mine. ``Hours in Idleness`` and ``Don Juan`` are vividly piercing pieces of his. His primordial energy and opulent verse are always etched onto his poems, a prime illustration of his satire is also winessed in ``English Bards and Scotch Reviewers``

Despite allegations of incest with his half-sister Augusta, to many an aspiring poet, Byron still remains a cornerstone of inspiration.

Salim who are your favourite poets ? Why do you find them appealing ?

#various

Mian Hamidm,

I hesitate to appear on anybody`s ``side`` but your unfairness in this matter leaves me little choice. You are being eminently less than objective when it comes to this author/poet.

I take exception to your crassily conceived and crappy claim of what a real poet is constituted of. Every soul is a poet - the trick is to bring out the right words. Very often in life, it happens by the slightest of chances. It can be the most unlikely surroundings, the aura, the circumstances which can trigger a poetic streak. There is no system or method or logic to this scheme - most often such streaks run absolutely counter to all that common sense and logic point to - a stream that climbs up vertically against all known rules of gravity - yet a stream that rules - without the benefit of a ruler (as in one with markings)!

Most of the times, it is more a question of the touch of a ``shama`` rather than the contraptions of a ``shamiyana``!

The problem with Ozer`s poetry (and I withhold the quotes on purpose) is his very verbosity. His words do not trickle out - they do not even pour out or gush out - they simply flood the premises! A reader who is merely trying to take a ``Ganga dip`` suddenly feels being uprooted and thrown about every which way and perhaps absolutely disoriented. The meaning and point - whatever they may have been - simply are left aside as the reader is left gasping for breath and clutching for dear life!

But that does not mean you can declare him an ``unpoet`` (now where have I heard that term before?)

Also Hamidm mian, the worst part of your comments is that you fail to give a person due credit for his efforts which, from all appearances, are considerably hard and highly persistent - like a crow which is trying to snatch that piece of bread from the hands of a child.

Highly unfair of you!

Remember mian - every dog deserves his due - before the dog gets devoured and dissipated by the dirtwheel of destiny!

Absoultely not kosher!

Or, as people of your faith tend to say - this is NOT halal!

I mesed up #19, sorry. It should read:

After reading the inspiring lines that follow:

Her yearning lips and a throbbing heart need ignition
Ill-begotten in-laws perform a fake rendition
From fiery claws a smoke is bellowing

I am moved to say bravo, oh poet, bravo!!
Smoke a-bellowin` from fiery claws?
Fake rendition from mommy-in-laws??

Janab Khalid Q. Ozer,
What Yearning Lips needs to set her free
Is a full service Chauffeur
One who may switch on her ignition key
And drive her around the coconut tree!!

After reading the inspiring lines that follow:

Her yearning lips and a throbbing heart need ignition
Ill-begotten in-laws perform a fake rendition
From fiery claws a smoke is bellowing


I am moved to say bravo, oh poet, bravo!!
Smoke a-bellowin` from fiery claws?
Fake rendition from mommy-in-laws??

Janab Khalid Q. Ozer,
What Yearning Lips to set her free
Is a full service delivery Chauffeur
One who may switch on her ignition key
And drive her around the coconut tree!!

bjkumar #2,
BJ, if I were paranoid, I would strongly suspect that you are an unfortunate reincarnation of that great hate-monger, Uncle Temporal. Your unwavering hostility to Ozer, your nasty sense of sarcasm, compounded by your unnecessary urination on everyone`s party and your constant dislike of anything I post, betray you as the one and only Tempy. What I am curious to know is how you managed to improve your English to at least a junior high level?
You obviously are no Indian, because despite what they sound like, every Indian I know writes much better English than you. You still have a long way to go.

#11. hamidm2 {``if somone puts together a paragraph full of words with three syllabus or more, or writes six lines that seem to rhyme, they think that it must be some either sort of literature or the word of god himself ................ ``}

Hamidum2 Sahib,
As much as I enjoy Ozer Khalid`s poetry, I think I actually look forward to his appearance just because of the reaction he generates in you. :)

Just because one throws a few words, separated by a random number of periods with an occasional question mark, does not necessarily imply that one is a credible critic.
To make your efforts more versatile and, thus broaden your horizons, please take a look at your QWERTY apparatus. There are a number of other options that you possess at your fingertips - ,/;:```{[}]| ~`.

Dear Readers,

All too often on Chowk, interactors cast smarmy rash generalisations on a piece of writing. It is hoped that whilst criticising you might endeavour to give more substantive examples as to where the fault lines of a piece/poem dwell.

Any writer, no matter of what professional or amateur credence, nourishes from every resourceful critique such as that of bj kumar`s who referred to the rhythm, structure and topicality of this poem. Rather than launching into an all too tempting personal diatribe.

Nowhere near perfection, we are all working towards healthier, and it hoped more informative personal self-expression. Cease the mud-slinging.

Ozer, {``Woman might be fickle; yes this is true
she`ll eavesdrop on her heart to justify
the lusting for a flame to flicker anew
of a poignant passion she can`t deny.``}

Another hauntingly beautiful poem rendered in the best tradtions of Byron and Poe. You are truly gifted and I must ask if you are a descendant of Mir?

Good job and please keep writing. :)

av krishna

thanks for your sentiments. actually i am folding up the events management business
here in london and will be moving to belgium for a bit, to pursue a legal career followed by a return to Pakistan. after trekking 4 corners of the globe it is time for me to settle down i guess.......

hamid m declares:

``save the children`` - suddenly your slogans have turned a touch philanthropic ? so beneath the rough tough and tumble exterior resides a softer hamid ?

`` buy a fifty cent notebook``

first snoop dogg now 50 cent i take it your musical penchant veers towards rap ?

``for god`s sake don`t inflict it on the unsuspecting public``

do not moralise. the public are savvyy enough to formulate their own opinions. they will ultimately render their own verdict.

`` they might think that it positively stinks, but they don`t have the courage to stand up and say, ``it stinks!`` ....... why?

one of the salient reasons for which chowk was founded was to give a discerning public that outlet of self-expression, for a readership to air their concerns and criticism.

it is only hoped that such criticism has an iota of underlying merit.

``might think they are country bumpkins who just fell off the turnip truck ``

hamid leaving aside your own innate insecurities, not everyone has such a low self-esteem of themselves. rise to the plate and fear not what others think of you dear boy.

``.......... as responsible citizens of this world, it is our duty to put an end to this craven literary deception when we see it; otherwise, future generations will have to suffer the ignominy of having to repeat nonsense ``

what sloganeering my my, ever thought of taking a stab at politics ?

your rhetoric is certainly spot on ``50 cented snoop dog``.

Re: # 11

Hamidm2,

Thank god for you..

I refrained from commenting on how bad this is precisely because of the point you
raised :-)

But what the hell..

This is contrived. The author seems to have good intentions, but he looks to me like the guys who read the dictionary in preperation for SAT,GRE, XYZ and now regurgitate it on us..

Thanks,
Avkrishna

PS: Ozer, hope your event management business is going strong

.......... save the children !

.... whether one agrees with snoop`s views on women or not, is not the issue ..... the fact remains that the man is a real poet unlike the pretentious word-stringing author of this .... this..... whatever! ......

...... look, there are a lot of ditch-diggers, code-coolies and housewives who fancy themselves as poets and authors .... fine!... go out, buy a fifty cent notebook, fill it up with words, make them rhyme if you must, but then throw it in your closet - for god`s sake don`t inflict it on the unsuspecting public ........ but the problem also lies with the public - if somone puts together a paragraph full of words with three syllabus or more, or writes six lines that seem to rhyme, they think that it must be some either sort of literature or the word of god himself ................ they might not understand it, they might think that it positively stinks, but they don`t have the courage to stand up and say, ``it stinks!`` ....... why?....because they are under the impression that most other folks are smarter than them and might think they are country bumpkins who just fell off the turnip truck ...........

.......... as responsible citizens of this world, it is our duty to put an end to this craven literary deception when we see it; otherwise, future generations will have to suffer the ignominy of having to repeat nonsense like ``humpty dumpty sat on a wall`` and `` little miss muffet sat on a tuffet``

farzana

thanks whichever section you deem appropriate for this piece. i appreciate your continued faith in this forum.

kaptain

i am originally from lahore, a mystic metropolis it is indeed ! although my immdeidate family are based in isloo.

A note:

This piece will later be moved to the `section` slot where, well, sections are.

hamidm:

Isn`t it possible that all this is being done to elicit that elusive ``sigh`` from you?

Re: # 7

keep experimenting..and if ur from lahore..then try working at the plaform of the Cantt Rail Station..
its a perfect mix..yet undisclosed..though it has the secret to self-discovery..specially the slowing-down evenings..