kuch alfaaz aur ek geet

Dear readers
Please send your comments on what I have written. What do you feel about this piece of writing.
I particularly write in english and in hindi too, of which this is the one.

thats it?
just kidding - that was good

shivar,
though the piece is really good, but there is no deepness of feelings in the art. ``gehrai`` u know. It seems very urgent! and rushed, rather than a soft touch. i would recommend either chosing words that carry more weight, or stretching your work a bit, so it seems more of a flow than a bang! but its really good start though. I am looking forward to read more from you. good luck!
Ammara