War of the Sexes

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I have never read such an article full of logical thoughts and so liberal opinion! I find it so difficult to believe that this article is actually written by a woman! My respectful best wishes to this author - Gita Roy. I do not know her, I have never heard of her - but surely she is a genuine woman of substance. I admire her scholarly words and at the same time so polite manner to present the facts and thoughts. Strangely enough, my thoughts and opinions on this subject almost matches with her - though I could never gather the courage to write this way in any forum. I was afraid of hitting a hornet`s nest. But I feel now that if such thoughts come from women, then it definitely will have much larger and deeper impact. I think Ms Gita Roy must be a celebrated author and it is a pity that I never heard of her. Anyway, that is my fault. My message to Ms Roy is - ``Please carry on with your such illuminating and enlightening compositions. I am sure many like me are waiting to read. My best wishes.`` - From Partho Banerjee of Durgapur, West Bengal, India

Superb

Since i have been joining the Chowk. This is THE BEST article i ever have read.

This world will become a PARADISE if every women start thinking like Miss GITA.

Keep writing........GOD bless you.


Faiz

``War of the Sexes by Gita Roy
Why are there so many neurotic women today? Have millions of women always been this way, or is it a problem of our times only? Why — if being feminine can be so pleasant — do some women hold onto their neurosis though they know they can get help for it?``

My dear Gita Roy -- just for the fun of a male perspective -- lemme `adjust` your opening sentences a little bit.....:)

`` War of the Sexes by Gita Roy
Why are there so many neurotic women today? Have millions of women always been this way, or is it a problem of our hormones only? Why — why being feminine can be so unpleasant — do some women hold onto their neurosis because they know they can get away with it?``

now that was before I read your piece -- after I read it I am sorry to say that you sound like a fem-casteist Muslima....in the worst tradition of Indian caste system....

Good God woman! you sound like a mullah telling us how wonderful for women to kept in the home and what a wonderful protection is offered to owmen. Are you really so naive as to think that women had wonderful fulfilling lives in the `old days`? No doubt some did and as certainly there were many who didnt have mcuh happiness or even leisure to consider whether they were happy.
No doubt there`s a grain of truth in your approach, extreme feminism may be unhealthy and unnatural but surely there is a balance to be found beyond the dominant/submissive one you suggest. You may benefit by looking deeper into the distribution of power as you have already suggested arther than coming to the facile suggestion of returning to some male ideal of woman hood.

Great Article.

Although I don’t fully agree with your article but yea, it is one of the best ones I have read over chowk.
Keep up the good work!

beewiyoN ke staaye huye
chai roTi bana kar uktaye huye
biwi ko dekh kar ghabraye huye
iss article ko paRh kar
thoRhi aas mein muskratay huye
sabh pati devtas, Gita Roy ji ko pranaam karo.:)

nameskaar devi ji, aap mahaan ho!
:)

You make only one good point in this article, that of the change in the structure of the family with the industrial revolution. Your reasoning from then onwards in based on half truths and assumptions.
The attribution of the aversion to sexual expression to a female mother daughter hierarchy is ridiculous.
``It has been handed down from mother to daughter in an unbroken line for so many years now that, to millions of women, hostility toward the opposite sex seems (almost) a “natural law”``
This when, I have seen and known most daughters to be more attached to their dads.
``Women can get rid of this neurosis by accepting, once again, the role of men as their leaders and protector in a loving d/s [dominant/submissive] relationship. ``
Some solution, this.The solution has little or no connection with the problem statement you made earlier. When, according to you, the industrial revolution paved the way for the minor tasks of the family to be delegated to other agencies, making woman insignificant, how will surrendering to man rectify the power equation? When the power equation is skewed , if man reneges from his duty to take care of the woman, woman is helpless.
#9 lol

Re: # 6
``You may benefit by looking deeper into the distribution of power as you have already suggested arther than coming to the facile suggestion of returning to some male ideal of woman hood.``
Exactly my point.

the article was well constructed , the arguement is not convincing;

She simple failed to convince.....
According to Britanica encycloperdia... neurosis is...

Mental and emotional disorder that affects only part of the personality, is accompanied by a less distorted perception of reality than in a psychosis, and is characterized by various physiological and mental disturbances (such as visceral symptoms and impaired concentration).

The neuroses include anxiety attacks, certain forms of depression, hypochondriasis, hysterical reactions, obsessive-compulsive disorders, phobias, various sexual dysfunctions, and some tics. They have traditionally been thought to be based on emotional conflict in which a blocked impulse seeks expression in a disguised response or symptom. Behavioral psychologists regard them as learned, inappropriate responses to stress, which can be unlearned.

. According to Dr. George Boeree(wikipedia), effects of neurosis can involve

... anxiety, sadness or depression, anger, irritability, mental confusion, low sense of self-worth, etc., behavioral symptoms such as phobic avoidance, vigilance, impulsive and compulsive acts, lethargy, etc., cognitive problems such as unpleasant or disturbing thoughts, repetition of thoughts and obsession, habitual fantasizing, negativity and cynicism, etc. Interpersonally, neurosis involves dependency, aggressiveness, perfectionism, schizoid isolation, socio-culturally inappropriate behaviors, etc. (Boeree 2002)
and if you think majority or most of women suffer frm it.....you might wanna make a quick stop at the psychiatrists couch......
this is a beaurocratic way of solving the issues that concern ones life......Just deny that they exist......Talk to shaukat Aziz about Pakistan`s poverty and he will tell u its going down....


``Though many a modern woman may pay lip service to the ideal of a passionate and productive marriage to a man, underneath she deeply resents her role, conceives of the male as fundamentally hostile to her, as an exploiter of her. She wishes in her deepest heart (and often without the slightest awareness of the fact) to supplant him, to exchange roles with him. She learned this attitude at her mother’s knee or imbibed it with her formula. Little that she learns elsewhere to counteract this will soon be nullified by the great effectivity of the constant (and almost universal) repetition of these destructive statements around her. ``
This is an assumption, a generalization......you can`t prove that women think like that....
In pakistan there is the Hudood Ordinance demands that the witness should be a male muslim and rape is considered adultery if the girl doesn`t provide 4 witnesses.....this is unfair to women and ensures male superiority......Honour Killing is a crime commited by men against women and rarely against males....Along with this u have Jirgas, local courts that are run in villages by males and they can give verdicts like raping the women of the opposite tribe......or solving issues by marrying or buying the women of other tribes.....
This is oppression....and if your are weak and vulnerable like majority of the poor women in Pakistan, depression and anxiety are inevitable.....

``All that results when the woman in any society deserts ther true womanly function. ``
what do u suggest to the million of widows, single mothers, war widows, and whose husbands deserted em or became drug addicts and gamblers or are imprisoned, ......?
And what about the millions of women living below poverty line.....many women cant just afford to sit home and cook and look after the kids........simply because the kids go out to work and there cant be food till the woman gets her daily wage.....along with the kids` wage......
you might wanna read the story of mukhtaran mai`s story and the follwing articles......

http://www.chowk.com/show_article.cgi?aid=00003178&channel=gulberg

http://www.chowk.com/show_article.cgi?aid=00003220&channel=civic%20center

http://www.chowk.com/show_article.cgi?aid=00004983&channel=civic%20center

http://www.chowk.com/show_article.cgi?aid=00004354&channel=civic%20center&start=0&end=9&chapter=1&page=1

What makes you think pre-industrial times were the paradise you make them out to be? What makes you think women are particularly neurotic now? Where is the evidence for that? How have you defined neuroticism anyway? Many women in pre-industrial times died in childbirth anyway, so they had little chance to express their neuroticism or otherwise.
If women were so happy being submissive-and most women are still in submissive roles-feminism would have never needed to exist.
I remember Khana and think of Khanar Bachan, and in no way is it the thoughts of a happy woman; and her life was one of misery-that was what was likely to happen to a woman in pre-industrial times. With a name like yours, you should know who she is-the others are welcome to a Google search.

Maybe Gita Roy is pulling everybody`s leg. She`s collecting information to see how many people agree with her and then she`ll denounce them in her next article. -)

All the male chauvinist pigs foraging around Chowk grabage cans should raise their snouts and shout in unison -- hamaari maha rani shrimati Gita devi ji kee jai.... Geeta Roy zindabaad...