It is Never OK to Hit a Woman

It is wrong to beat up women just like it is wrong to beat up ANY human being – except perhaps in self-defense.

People here who have to go around sticking their noses in their religion books to say something that simple and common-sense have a REAL problem. No amount of “we are the victim”, or “you got problems, too”, or “it is a conspiracy to defame Islam” can change that simple fact.

Islamists appear to have a serious problem treating a woman as an equal to a man.

A lot of “educated” Muslims are in reality highly retrogressive!

Re: # 154bjkumar

you are condeming muslim for treating women badly.what about ``karva chauth`` touching husband`s feet.Pati parmaishver.

pati ke charnon mein suwarag.kind of stuff.at least muslim do not do all this crap.your indian media which is so hypocrite always glorify your religion and the submissive role of women.

But when you see anything like that in the muslim world ,suddenly you become champions of humanism.

The mentality that treats women as sub-human species to be thrashed about also makes it possible to exploit them as a resource for ``enjoyment``!

This is from today`s Washington Post.

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Temporary `Enjoyment Marriages` In Vogue Again With Some Iraqis

By Nancy Trejos
Washington Post Staff Writer
Saturday, January 20, 2007; A01
BAGHDAD -- Fatima Ali was a 24-year-old divorcee with no high school diploma and no job. Shawket al-Rubae was a 34-year-old Shiite sheik with a pregnant wife who, he said, could not have sex with him.

Ali wanted someone to take care of her. Rubae wanted a companion.

They met one afternoon in May at the house he shares with his wife, in the room where he accepts visitors seeking his religious counsel. He had a proposal. Would Ali be his temporary wife? He would pay her 5,000 Iraqi dinars upfront -- about $4 -- in addition to her monthly expenses. About twice a week over the next eight months, he would summon her to a house he would rent.

The negotiations took an hour and ended with an unwritten agreement, the couple recalled. Thus began their ``mutaa,`` or enjoyment marriage, a temporary union believed by Shiite Muslims to be sanctioned by Islamic law.

The Shiite practice began 1,400 years ago, in what is now Iraq and other parts of the region, as a way to provide for war widows. Banned by President Saddam Hussein`s Sunni-led government, it has regained popularity since the 2003 U.S.-led invasion of Iraq brought the majority Shiites to power, said clerics, women`s rights activists and mutaa spouses.

``During Saddam`s time, there was no religious freedom,`` said Faris al-Shareef, a sheik who lives in the mainly Shiite city of Hilla.

Opponents of mutaa, most of them Sunni Arabs, say it is less about religious freedom and more about economic exploitation. Thousands of men are dying in the sectarian violence that has followed the invasion, leaving behind widows who must fend for themselves. Many young men are out of work and prefer temporary over permanent wives who require long-term financial commitments. In a mutaa arrangement, the woman is entitled to payment only for the duration of the marriage.

``It`s a cover for prostitution,`` said Um Akram, a women`s rights activist in Baghdad. ``Some women, because they don`t want to be prostitutes, they think that this is legal because it`s got some kind of religious cover. But it is wrong, and they`re still prostitutes from the society`s point of view.`` Um Akram, like the mutaa spouses interviewed, asked that only parts of her name be published.

Many intellectuals consider ancient traditions such as these an obstacle to Iraq`s effort to become a more modern, democratic society. In recent years, extremist religious groups have gained more power in Iraq.

``These steps are taking the whole country backwards and are definitely hurdles to the advancement of the country,`` said Hamdia Ahmed, a former member of parliament and a women`s rights activist in Baghdad. ``The only solution is to separate Islam from politics.``

Shiite clerics and others who practice mutaa say such marriages are keeping young women from having unwed sex and widowed or divorced women from resorting to prostitution to make money.

They say a mutaa marriage is not much different from a traditional marriage in which the husband pays the wife`s family a dowry and provides for her financially.

``It was designed as a humanitarian help for women,`` said Mahdi al-Shog, a Shiite cleric.

According to Shiite religious law, a mutaa relationship can last for a few minutes or several years. A man can have an unlimited number of mutaa wives and a permanent wife at the same time. A woman can have only one husband at a time, permanent or temporary. No written contract or official ceremony is required in a mutaa. When the time limit ends, the man and woman go their separate ways with none of the messiness of a regular divorce.

Although the temporary arrangements are becoming more common, they are still controversial, and people usually conduct them secretly.

Ali had a normal marriage once. It lasted only three months because the couple did not get along. Her chances for another permanent marriage, she said, were slim. Men often prefer virgins over widows and divorced women, she said.

She welcomed Rubae`s proposal because he was a well-known sheik in her neighborhood. Her family was fond of him. ``He was a good guy, and he was a religious man,`` she said.

Rubae had been in 15 mutaa marriages before. A year ago he entered into a permanent marriage with a woman who had been his mutaa wife for a day. When she became pregnant eight months ago, she suggested he take a temporary wife but asked him not to tell her if he did. She does not know about his involvement with Ali.

``As a pregnant woman, she cannot give me my needs,`` Rubae said. ``She treats me real good and she wants me to be happy.``

He chose Ali partly because her blond hair, light brown eyes and petite figure had always attracted him. ``When she puts makeup on, it destroys her beauty,`` he said.

He also liked that she was religiously devout, and he said he wanted to keep her from a relationship outside of marriage.

Ali didn`t think of him in a romantic way at first. ``After we got married, I started loving him,`` she said.

The money he gave her helped. Her father owns a bakery but money has always been tight, so much so that she had to end her education after elementary school. But money wasn`t her only reason for entering the enjoyment marriage. ``I have needs just like any other woman,`` she said.

Both Shiite and Sunni Muslims allow men to have more than one permanent wife, but they disagree over mutaa.

Most Shiites believe that the prophet Muhammad encouraged the practice as a way to give widows an income. Grand Ayatollah Ali Sistani, Iraq`s most revered Shiite cleric, has sanctioned it and offers advice on his Web site.

Um Ahmed, a 28-year-old woman from Najaf, lost her husband in 2005 when he was caught in the crossfire of a fight between two Shiite militias.

Soon after his death, she had her first mutaa relationship, with a man who was in a permanent marriage. He paid her 50,000 Iraqi dinars upfront -- or $38 -- and gave her money whenever she needed it during their six-month relationship.

She said she needed it often. She is a tailor and the only one in her family of 10 who works.

``When a human being needs money, the need will make a person do anything,`` she said. ``It`s better than doing the wrong things. This is religiously accepted.``

Many Sunnis believe that the practice is outdated and ripe for abuse. They also see it as more evidence of Iranian influence on Iraqi life. Mutaa is widespread in Iran`s Shiite theocratic state.

``It is a big insult to women,`` said Ibtsam Z. Alsha, a Sunni lawyer and the head of the organization Women for the Common Good of Women.

Women`s rights activists also bemoan what they say is an increase in mutaa on college campuses. Some female students do it for money. Others do it for love when their parents forbid them to marry a man from another sect.

Amani, a 22-year-old Baghdad University engineering student, said she is a Sunni but agreed to enter into a mutaa relationship with her Shiite boyfriend because her parents disapproved of him. ``I hated my family because they did not allow this marriage,`` she said. ``I did this to spite my family.``

Still, she has not told them about the relationship. ``If they find out, it will be my end,`` she said.

A woman cannot terminate a temporary marriage before it expires unless the man agrees, said four sheiks interviewed for this article.

Once the marriage is over, she has to wait at least two menstrual cycles before she can have another relationship so that paternity can be easily determined if she becomes pregnant, they said.

Most mutaa contracts stipulate that no children be produced. If a woman were to become pregnant anyway, Islamic law would require the man to support the child, the sheiks said. But the clerics disagreed over how much power they have to impose that rule.

Rubae said the man who refuses his child would be whipped or even killed. ``We as the sheiks should be sure this thing will stay legitimate,`` he said.

Shareef, the sheik from Hilla, said some men take advantage of their rights under religious law but refuse to accept their responsibility when a child is born. In some of those cases, he said, a sharia court, using Islamic law, is not as effective as a secular court in enforcing the rules.

``I am supporting the idea of the government regulating mutaa marriages, just like the permanent marriages, so these man cannot run away,`` he said. ``Otherwise the women are losing their rights.``

Um Akram, the women`s rights activist in Baghdad, said more women are asking her organization for help in getting national identification cards for children born of mutaa relationships. Parents must present a marriage certificate to obtain the identification cards, which are required by schools and employers.

Um Akram said some single women have given up their children for adoption to married couples who can use their marriage certificates to register them.

``The men just hit and run, and they don`t want to have a family,`` she said. ``The children are paying the price.``

Ali and Rubae agreed not to have children. They simply wanted to enjoy each other.

On the days he could see her, he gave her flowers, perfume, clothing and a watch. They had meals together. Sometimes he could spend the whole day with her. Other times, just five or six hours.

Ali said she cried when the marriage ended early last week. ``It`s just like a permanent marriage,`` she said. ``When he leaves, I become sad.``

Her sorrow did not last long. Rubae said Jan. 12 that he had decided to marry her again. This time, he said, he would marry her for a year, enough time for his wife to fully recover from childbirth.

Re: # 158

Please do not mind him. His was a typical hidu-loser response. THis should tell you the collosal challenge we as Muslims have to face to bring humanity out of darkness, ignorance and petulance and show them Light. Please be patient and composed.

Re: # 156 bjkhumar wrote;

``[Dear dumbass Muslim-Atrocity-apologist!] [who can not get your ass moving one inch]

[Read ars-hole ...READ!] [And then go screw yourself!]``

i guess chowk staff has stoped reading the interacts.if this crap is acceptable for the chowk staff than there is no need to delete any post in future.

this guy claims to be champion of woman`s right but look, how vulgur language he is using for a woman.

#155

Dear dumbass Muslim-Atrocity-apologist!

Since you are, in all likelihood, an absolute moron - perhaps even a chowk fat-cat - not to mention an utterly ludicrous piece of sheet who can not get your ass moving one inch without dragging the Book with it and perhaps one who can not read a word of text unless interpreted by a Mullah ... let me repeat parts of #153 for the benefit of you and all the other utterly moronic fixtures of this chowk den who lie to themselves that they are ``intellectuals``!

From #153
[...No amount of “we are the victim”, or “you got problems, too”, or “it is a conspiracy to defame Islam” can change that simple fact. ....]

Read ars-hole ...READ!

I SAID READ!!!!

And then go screw yourself!

A society that does not treat its women right is a society that is destined to stay mired in filth and mud forever!

#158

Listen moron,

You ain`t no woman!

I don`t care what you carry (or lack) between those legs!

You are ``screwed up``, that`s all!

I am sure you lack everything between those ears - or you would not be making asinine half-hearted futile attempts at defending the indefensible!

#158

And no amount of kissing the ass of the automated computer program called ``chowk staff`` will change anything!

Uh uh, Beej? :(

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saimarana, you will need to be patient, lady. Even takeninhand is a very new website. And most humanists have absolutely no clue about what so many men and women really desire.

Re: # 165

I wish you peace, tranquility, and guidance. Please calm down, anger is the most self-destructive of human emotion. I pray that may Allah save you from your anger. I you think, that we Muslims are doing something wrong, then help us understand. The great Muslim jurist Abu Hanifa once said: I know that you are wrong but there is chance that you might be right and I know I am right but there is a chance that I might be wrong.

#161 Trully mian

I am THROUGH being nice to creepy fundos like you! I am going to tell you and your two-bit chelas exactly like it is!

Just because that woman`s mind has been screwed up by the likes of you just as the body of countless Muslim women was screwed by opportunistic males (hot penis-wallas) as per your sanction does not mean that the rest of the world can merely watch without telling you like it is!

Kaal,

Do you EVER stop kissing ass of these fundos?!

It is not worth it, I tell you!

It only makes you look like a nincompoop!

POOP, I said!

These sala fundos....

They stone their women!

Cut off their clioris!

Then show up here to lecture on the virtues of beating them up!

Kuttey kahin ke!

Re: # 169 Philosopher,

So I see that we are basically in agreement on our assessment of Western and Islamic philosophical thought process. But lets agree to disagree on the reconcilliation aspect of it. In this regard my stance is how can be a reconcilliation possible between Tauheed (One Absolute Truth) and Kufr (No Absolutes). These two ideals are mutually exclusive. However, I would like to explore how and why do you think there is a reconcilliation possible.

As far as your thesis on Qura`n is concerned, you or other readers may find these statistics quite amazing:

No. of times Rights of Allah are mentioned in Qura`n = 193
No. of times Rights of Man are mentioned in Qura`n = 673
No. of times Qura`n urges human beings to explore this universe to discover Him= 750

In other words, there is far more emphasis on exploring Cosmos to find God than to just blindly obeying into a belief system. Such confidence, such assertiveness, and such challenging directness can only come from One Absolute Truth. How can then be hope and faith reconcilable and equal to disbelief and doubt. How can hope compliment utter hopelessness?

Re: # 159 dear urstruly sahib wrote;

[The modern philosophical thought and Islamic thought process are at the opposite extreme of a spectrum and the reconciliation that you are suggesting is impossible]

i dont agree with you that both these ``extreme`` are irreconcilable.they are not exactly opposite to each other in the strict sense.In fact they are complementary to each other if we look into them carefully.

The problem with modren westren philosophy is that it has accpeted the skepticism.it no longer claims to have absolute knowledge.
the two main epistemological aspects of this thinking are ,reason and experiment[in the technical sense].they have accpeted that not only both of them are inadequate but the conflict between both of them is a basic of fact of our mental life.

islamic philosophy ,on the other hand, picks the thread from here.it already claims that reason and experiment[or acquired knowledge] alone can not give certain knowledge and thus incapable to solve the problem of modren mind.

it claims to provide a third epistemological dimension [Imaan]which not only reconcile both the dimensions but also provide a creative vision to look at reality.

Quran considers IMaan[imeediate comprehension] to be equaly important[along with reason and experiment]in unraveling the mystery of being.

Quranic epistemology is the mixture of all three dimension.Quran never undermines the faculty of reason and experiment,in fact it exhorts man to use these faculties.

Quran is against any kind of blind faith.Imaan is not same as ``belief``.imaan is a living assurance of being.

we can learn so much from westren thinking but only if we reconcile them according to islamic temperament.coz westren thinking uncertan and inadequate.

but i think we can formulate it in such a way which wont be harmfull to our faith,in fact it would make islamic thinking more accpetable to the westren mind which is desparatly looking for a epistemology which is able to recocile all those facters in one system.

we know islam is exactly that but we will have to present it in their own terminologies.
regards