Pandora Box of Television in Pakistan

I have just resurfaced from watching FOX News` wall-to-wall coverage of Ana Nicole Smith`s courtroom drama. The essence of the story is that there is this jewish lawyer who hasnt worked in the last 7 years, but who befriended ana and began living off her wealth. He is now claiming that he fathered ana`s child...in the hopes that he can get her millions, if you believe ana`s mother. ``Not so fast``, says ana`s body guard...``I may be the father``. Not to be outdone, 90 year Zsa Zsa Gabor`s husband sent in that he could very well have been the father as well. There were 3 other responsible american citizens who came forward and admitted to the possibility of having fathered that girl. But in their case it turned to be nothing more than wishful thinking.

In any case, all this was happening on the day when news broke that British were pulling their troops out of Iraq. Of course Fox viewers were all too entrenched in getting the details of court room drama to know anything about all that war stuff that was happening ``over there``. But just to be fair and balanced, Fox did finally break the news of troop pull out in a 20 seconds update...according to which whitehouse claimed that british troop pull out was a good news and exactly ``according to plan``. This reminded me of the soccer game I participated in last weekend. The opposing team scored 3 goals in quick succession. But our breathless captain suggested that it was exactly ``according to plan``, since we had managed to tire out the opposing team through their early goals.

There were 85 more minutes to go in the game and hence too early to prove him otherwise.

you complain about gluttony yet ignore the fact that gluttony associated with food harms only one physical body, yet religious gluttony which pervades pakistani society harms hundreds of thousands of vulnerable minds. sue me if i personally find cute little cooking shows much better for my mind and soul than Amir Liaqat`s shia/sunni mullahs telling me if wearing pink lip gloss is haram or not.

and shame on you for criticizing independent pakistani channels which DARE to question and interview corrupt politicians and equally corrupt mullahs.

you should thank Geo tv`s question and answer session for helping bring a new level of attention to the Hudood Laws.

#34 and #35: well said scout!!

glad to see you back on chowk.

Re: # 36

thanks, by the way i only left chowk unplugged :)

#37 by scout(new)

WB ... :~)

Re: # 33

Alas! Marhooma passed away without enjoying and seeing all the khushiaN. But on second thought I think she was lucky that she didn`t have to shave her head to get noticed by braindead populace. On third thought I am anticipating that if Musharafa kanjar live another five year, we will be watching Pakistani jerry springer live from hira mandi, Lee market, or Qasai gali sometime soon.

On fourth thought the Qasai galli reminded me of an incident when I was in first year of college. In those days our group used to take unusual routes to get to our respective homes after the college. One of such route used to pass through the Qassai galli. That was one of our preferred route, even though the girls with deep necklines over there used to give us ``hard time`` passing through; whereas their business managers were the most hospitable men I ever knew to this day. Anyway, on one fine day our group was passing through the galli with our lowered gazes, when we noticed commotion at the end of the street. When we reached closer we saw two honorable Bi-jis in a bitter verbal fight, standing across the street at their doorsteps. The first part of the fight included the threats of sexual acts that they promised on each other, but I was pretty sure they wouldn`t be able to do them even if they wanted to. The second part consisted of attacking the business practices of each other. When one accused other of roaming around the streets of a nearby village because she couldn`t get business locally, the things really got ugly. In the counter-accusations the other one accused her nemesis of going to Peshawar for business. The accused accepted it with pride because her of the exapnse of her business at inter-district level. But the barage of verbal machine gun, that followed, included a long winding but lucid detail of mating habbits of pathans, their prefernecs, and corresponding screams and vails that she would allegedly utter during the business transactions, almost caused me to fall in the gutter on the side of the street. These details were so poignant that it rendered her opponent speechless for a good long moment. The victim was struggling to get back at her opponent but she seemed to have been outgunned at that Peshawar thing. Finally, when she was about to surrender she saw a person emerging from the end of the street. It was Abdul-Rehman, who owned a grocery store in the neighborhood. He seemed to be coming out of a mosque with a topi and a chequered table cloth on his shoulders. The victim`s eyes lit up when she saw Abdul-Rehman. As Rehman came closer the victim shot a volley of verbal tracer bullet at her opponent accusing her of having a client as lowlife as Rehman, who would not pay a penny for her services but pay her off by stuffing sacks of flour and sugar in some unmentionable anatomy of hers. The most interesting part of the whole sordid affair was rehamn who was passing through the street absolutely oblivious of what was happening in the street.

In those days I used to carry a pocket mini cassettte recorder to record lectures etc. I recorded the whole event right there. Later that recording became the most demanded item in the college. Every one who listened to it wished that they were there. I was wondering if audience who take interest in cases like Briteny and Anna, also secretly wish that they were there?

[This incident also partially inspired the story ``Secret passages``, which chowk published sometime ago]

Re:urstruly#39

[..we will be watching Pakistani jerry springer live from hira mandi, Lee market....]

I thought chowk was the pakistani equivalent of jerry springer show.....

#39 by Urstruly

``Anyway, on one fine day our group was passing through the galli with our lowered gazes``

You see with this statement you made mama proud! Shurufa kay lurrkay bhi lurrkian hotay hain.

... rigth on, Tehsin Sahib (#41),

Gazes may have been lowered, alright. But it didn`t take long before the tape recorder was recording lewd details, only to be played back for the pleasure of his horny buddies ...

This ``lowered gazes`` crap is a load of self-righteous hypocrisy, if anything ...

Urstruly miaN, this very well may be a result of you not not getting laid or drunk. And you have a problem with anna and britney? Yes, what about Jerry Springer ...?

Re: # 42
The saga of ``lowered gazes``

I think our mullah urstruly is a closet gay, he may have been a gilman in his younger years, enjoying the ``blessings`` of the mullhas at his madrassas which are know for that kind of stuff...

otherwise why would any red-blooded young man ever lower his gaze at the sight of the buxom ``beauties`` of heera mandi?

Re: # 43

Could lowering the gaze be to avoid an eye contact with Abba ji, just in case?

Re:mohar and kulharee

Yaar, the self-righteous mullah types are often the biggest perverts in any religion. They are so repressed that their bottled up sexual urges get expressed as perversion.

Just look at all the scandals involving the catholic priests and the evangelical preachers, who thump the bible day in and day out.

Re: # 39

Urstruly - Hi. This could have been a standalone piece in itself. You should submit this to Chowk. I think you alluded that it was included in one of your previos write-ups. In any case, this highlights the interesting development of the youth. The very concept of ``keeping your gaze lowered`` can have different implications in different scenarios. I am sure being a virtuous and decent young man you had your reasons. Some segments of this write-up remind me of Hanif Kureishi`s ``My son the fanatic``.

Nice.

#39 urstruly: Even the judge wept tears today when recommending that mahrooma be buried in the bahamas. And he didnt need to shave his head either. And all the time the mayeeat was rotting in the basement.

But why all this High Tragedy stirred up memories of your college days, it is not clear.

Re: # 20

Hamidm,

Bourdain is at New York, I thought ?...In any case, I like his conversational style - cocky,
somewhat arrogant, dismissive of most tv chefs (likes Rachel Ray, though...I gotta
watch her) and evidently sincere...and it is interesting to hear what he ate in the jungles of
Borneo and similarly exotic places.

There was a segment where he was walking the streets of Bombay at 2 am eating kababs at streetside joints - the guy eats anything (and I mean it literally) offered to him.

Emeril is just so, well...tv-ish. I think Bourdain`s coke-headedness in his youth makes him
more interesting now.

Amen on the biryani + wine combo...soul food for me.