Revathy Gopal: RIP

Sorry for a typing error in my interact no.53.

My name should be read as V.S.Gopalakrishnan.

Dear readers,

I am Revathy`s husband.On behalf of my two sons Kartik (35) and Skanda (24) and on my
own behalf I thank everyone who has shown such love and affection, respect and admiration for her. Her writings have been known for frankness and for a certain lyrical quality and have drawn many critics and admirers too.

A few days after her passing away,the following is what I wrote to my friends:

My dear wife Revathy passed away peacefully on 7 March
2007 at the age of 59 after a brave battle with the
deadly disease of cancer for nearly ten months. Till
the end she never asked “why me?” and never spoke of
death. She had no fear of death and took solace in
reciting Maha Mrutyunjaya Japa. She spent considerable
time at the hospital that treated her. She spoke to
visitors always cheerfully, giving them a smile and
making enquiries about their families.

I should have written this much earlier but we have
been having a constant stream of visitors including
relatives and friends and receiving innumerable phone
calls. All that is a testimony to what Revathy was – a
loving, gentle and gracious person. She was my life
partner for nearly 38 years and we passionately shared
very many common interests and her loss is something
that I can never get over. She was an extremely dear
mother to Kartik (35) and Skanda (24) and the young
boys are really shattered by the loss of the dear
mother who was so caring for them as only a mother
could be.

Revathy’s mental-makeup and strong character had
several facets including a deep compassion for the
poor, ready help to the needy , disenchantment with
poor governance by our governmental authorities, an
intolerance for all the despicable wrongs in our
society particularly against women and children etc.
Her intellect was as strong as her emotions. She was
as much a book-worm as a practical person, devouring
books after books. Almost every subject under the sun
interested her and she had an admirable fund of
general knowledge that stunned others. She was steeped
in English literature from her young days and had a
marvellous intimacy with the world of writers, poets
and books. She did MA and M.Phil. in English
literature and was indeed keen to obtain a Ph.D. too.

She had started with prose-writing decades ago but
over the years her inclination took her to writing
poetry which suited her sentiments and emotions much
more aptly and fittingly. She won the Second Prize
over two consecutive years in the All-India Poetry
Competition organized by the British Council together
with the Poetry Society of India. And I used to tease
her that she was not making any progress, just
remaining the second prize winner! A month before she
passed away she had the immense satisfaction of seeing
in print her latest collection of poems published by
the Writers’ Workshop, Kolkata, that is titled “The
Last Possibilities of Light”. And the light in my life
is now gone.

Many of you have known of her passing away and have
sent me finely written eulogies, while condoling her
death, for which I extend my sincerest thanks. And I
am sorry that I have not informed many of you about
this tragic news earlier due to factors that I could
not help.

We shall cherish her sweet memories. She is in a state
of bliss having attained God.

(Message ends)

I have also been a chowk-writer for more than a year. I have just sent an article titled `Medical Lessons from the death of a Poet` to the chowk editors for their consideration.Revathy had in recent years been more of an English poet than a prose writer and hence that title. How a famous hospital messed up her case is what is brought out in the article in order to guide the readers and create awareness.

With thanks and regards to the chowk readers,
V.S.Goplakrishnan

err... nadia .. it is not dismissal .. it is demise ... sorry.

I have not known to Revathy Gopal, but this piece led me know about her dismisal! And more sad to see that this board had been hijacked by the usual women abuser and taliban to progressiveness of females `Zeemax`, and the way he misled the whole unfortunate early reminiscent of a liberal thinker is disgusting. And look at the way he has twisted his tone and accepted the parallel views just because some Farzana Versey published to. Atleast Revathy Gopal saw light of vision in her life and had an expanded view of life cycle which these unified approach cant understand after one big bang!

I would advice Farzana to keep giving dose of such medicine to this munafique of times, because he doesnt believe in medicine therapy but the one who is giving it.

I am sorry Reva for putting an improper statements on your board, but cant escape from the bewildered thoughts!

And so its a reunion if people pay homage in their own cultural/ritual aspects as they are bound to give it that way!

Dear Chowk-Staff,

Since you have given your verdict on the point Farzana raised, I humbly stand down with an apology to any sensitivities I might have callously wounded.

Regards.

Re: # 49

Zeemax, `Rest in Peace`adduces to the memory of the dead person. Memories dont die.

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Zeemax sahib #43
Your posts are intellectual with logic and you make all the sense.

Quite honestly, you opened my eyes.

Chowk staff
If it is OK to post it here, I may have to add it here. I feel the need of it.

I do agree with Mr.zeemax on this.

Gill sahib, why this contradiction? Show some intellectual honesty.

Gill sahib always advertise openly on FP that He is atheist, so according to atheist, there is NO life after death....................

Then , if, we go by this logic, he should stick to his intellectual honesty, and shouldn`t say the things he doesn`t believe, ``like may she rest in peace``. That means HE believes in life after death and He is nOT atheist

... because they`ll be alive while you`ll be DEAD.

I hope my position is clear.

Re: # 43

Your interacts are embarassing. I agree with Farzana`s stance on your nonsense.

...... #41 ...

... I will wish peace upon the worms who eat you when you die ..

That`s a promise.

#39 by FarzanaVersey

FV, I don`t agree with your contention that ``No one is answerable to anyone to hold the views they hold and express sorrow as they choose to do.``

Expression of sorrow if it is a lie loses its validity. It is an insult to the dignity of the dead.

Ijaz:

I hope you understand that I find it inapproprate to share telephone numbers and other details on a public forum, although I respect your intent. Besides, I would need permission from Gopal and at this time I would not wish to inundate them with calls. I did mention this piece to him, though, and regret it now.

Chowk-staff:

If you wish this article to become a forum to discuss the `hypocrisy of atheists` who dared to mourn the loss of a colleague and used standard terms, then could you please change the headline to include whether the deceased would like to Rest In Peace or not in the title?

PS: No one is answerable to anyone to hold the views they hold and express sorrow as they choose to do.

Re: # 39

Farzana - Hi. Good to see you around. I concur with your sentiments. Well said!

Regards,
Z

#37 by Zeena

ZeenaJi, I beg your pardon, but what`s the harm in having this discussion right here?

I mean, If Revathy Gopal is in some sort of `peace` as wished upon her by atheists, I`m sure she`ll be quite delighted to find so many people remembering her and wanting her sincerely wished. I would just like to know where her atheist well-wishers want her to remain in peace.

On the other hand if they are lying and just being patronising to conform to some social correctness which is alien to their beliefs; do not mean what they are saying; and in fact their theories are correct, then it really doesn`t matter for Revathy what they`re mouthing to each other for lip service. Or does it?

Besides, Islam forbids mourning the dead and advocates serenity. So I do not find this argument here either immoral or insensitive.

This question is not only directed towards Gill, but to all preaching atheists etc ... They should come out of their little holes and either state their position or forever remain silent.

#36 zeemax sahib

hmmm, interesting and quite intellectual question with all the validity and intellectual honesty.

But, I still don`t wish this article to end up as an arguementative board.

zeemax jii

Can you write an article for FP based on your post #36? I want to start a discussion on this very particular topic with Mr.Gill(the famous atheist). Thanks

#7 by freethinker,

Mr. Gill, you said:

May she rest in peace.

Huh?

Who`re you talking about? Revathy Gopal died. End of the story according to your theory. Are you wishing peace upon fertilizer? Or ashes? Or maggot-feed?

Or, if you`re wishing `peace` upon Revathy Gopal ... where? In which land? What peace?

I`m sorry, but you`re being totally insincere in the memory of a good person by telling lies about which neither she believed nor you do ...

I regard this as the cruellest form of intellectual dishonesty.

Dehendriya manobuddhi ahankara chittani naham
Chidanad rupeya shivoham shivoham

-- Adi Shankar

Deha( body) indriyas ( senses), manh( stream of thoughts that doubt, consider and discard various options) buddhi( stream of thoughts which are decisive), chitta ( stream of thoughts involved in reasoning, analyzing, inquiring and speculating, ahankara (I – the consciousness present in every being) naham (I am not)

I am distinct from the body in which I dwell, from senses through which I perceive, from manah, buddhi and chitta constiting my Mind with which I think and decide, from ahankara which gives me consciousness of myself; I am separate and formless being who is only associated with these entities or I am the soul, or the jiva.

Then who I am? Chit( knowledge) anand ( bliss) shivoham(a brief statement of Shankara’s advait or monoism) I am shiva who is the form of bliss associated with knowledge.

(Commentary by V V Subrahmanyam of Rajahmundry ,Andhra Pradesh)

zeemax#31

Sir zeemax

With all due respect, everyone has their own way of sending condolences for the deceased ones. In my family culture we always send flowers for the family of dceased ones to comfort them , we even put flowers on the graves of our loved ones.

I am sorry, but, your approach is way too, constricted and narrow minded in this matter.
To you your belief, to us ours. Everyone has the equal right to express sorrow in their own ways.

Please, try to be more sensitive about other`s feelings.

PS:- Kindly refrain from making this board as another argumentative board. This board is purley to pay respect to the famous writer of chowk. Thanks

Will miss her.

....excepting Farzana of-course who addressed her post to HER and said ``But just this once why don’t you believe in an afterlife?

... Well Farzana .. you seem sure she`s reading this. Actually, I know she is. So that must be something of an eye opener for her ....

I have been in a quandary since this morning as to how to offer condolences. Though I really want to ....

I mean ... what can I say?

Other people are offering `God Bless her Soul` (?) , `Rest in Peace` (?), Peace and Grace in the eyes of God Almighty` (?); But to whom are they saying that? She is DEAD. She isn`t hearing any of it. She didn`t believe in anything of the silly stuff all are saying. So why`re people saying all this? Are they being condescending? Why?

It doesn`t matter for her anymore. Hers to her belief was just an organism which lived its natural life and came to an end. That`s all. So what`s the big deal in saying all these things to supposedly comfort her? Rather, isn`t that going against her own wishes?

I will say the appropriate thing. She will be missed. That`s all. Don`t even bother with flowers. She won`t see them.

RIP

As a person, Revathy Gopal indeed seemed to be a gem. May she find peace and grace in the eyes of God Almighty.

Frazana, could you post Gopal`s Tele Number.
Thanx

May she rest in peace, and may God bless her soul.

My heartfelt condolences to her family. May God bless them with courage and strength to carry on.

Ameen.

Ally
xxx

I also lost a close member of my family to cancer recently and I can imagine the pain the family is undergoing right now. There are certain things that are beyond our human comprehension and there is no alternative but to accept them.

May God give her family the courage to face this difficult time.

Rest in peace, departed soul.

That was SAD.

my condolenses, may her soul rest in peace

May her soul rest in peace!

Dear Revathy:

I want to say so much, but it is too late. You were the first person who came out and stood by me. I did not know you. I demanded pieces...remember the profile on Jayalalitha that you sent in at super-fast time? Then there was a pause. Wake up, I asked, and very gently you asked me to wait…I wondered why. Till I opened the attachment that accompanied your, as always, vivacious note, “Here it is, as ordered”. It spoke about your cancer.

It is rare to feel any guilt as a professional but I was in tears. I found your telephone number that was there with an old piece.

“How are you now?” I asked, rather foolishly, knowing that you were going through chemotherapy. And you said, “Surprisingly good.” I believed you. You said, “Come over for lunch or dinner…” I did not wish to trouble you. Then you gave me the bait of “South Indian coffee”. I waited for you to get better.

Even through my hiatus, we continued talking. “Why are you doing this?” was all you asked. You understood without my explaining. It did not matter to you. We had connected. You sent me books. I don’t do this often but I called you at regular intervals. It used to be tea-time, I remember. You sometimes sounded tired, just sometimes. Then you were leaving for London. “I’ll call you when I get back and then you have to come over,” you said.

I waited. I did not call. Wasn’t sure. Thought you were well…you did say you wanted to start some editing work, which could be done from home and which would not take up too much effort. I thought you were busy. I thought….why did I think so much?

Is this sounding treacly? But you told me I should not bother, just surge ahead. So, yes, Revathy, I just spoke to Gopal, your husband, partner and fellow writer. He said you were fond of me, that we shared our values and ideologies. I know you were a rational person. But just this once why don’t you believe in an afterlife?

I am still greedy. I want my coffee. And I still want to read you.

Love always,
F

Kind of reminds me of the immortal words of the song Big Yellow Taxi :

Don`t it always seem to go
That you don`t know what you`ve got
Till it`s gone

May She rest in peace. I am sure she will live on through that which she has added to our common human compendium with her beautiful pieces.

I just wish to post my old post from Revathy`s article about her breast cancer................

I am extremely sad and reading all articles by her.

In the memory of Revathy.

[[Dear writer:

Very well placed article. You have done an excellent job of putting together all pieces of tragic journey of this disease, called breast cancer.

The human sufferings and toll of this disease is enormous. In USA , every 9th out of 10 women is diagnosed with breast cancer and every day a woman is diagnosed and dies from this disease.Men can also be inflicted by breast cancer and their disease is less responsive to therapy and more catastrophic. Breast cancer can kill young, old, men and women at a rate which is unbelievable.

Thanks to modern day therapeutic techniques, we are seeing so many cancer survivors...........

Speaking of survivors, you can call them survivors, champions in the fight against cancer or simply winners over cancerous deaths.

I have met hundreds of survivors with their amazing stories who are dealing with this disease optimistically with the will to live guided by their spirits. I always see thankfulness in their eyes as if they are more thankful to live, as if they value their lives more than others. And almost all of them are living with a new hope, a new light to shine their lives, they are healthier than others in the sense that they take care of their selves more and they have learnt a lesson, no matter what, life is a gift from GOD, don`t waste it........

Thank you for sharing with us your journey...................

On side note:-

“I thank God for my handicaps, for, through them, I have found myself, my work, and my God”
Helen Keller quotes]]

Chowk is a big family, though we do not by and large, know each other personally. Many are acccomplished writers, and yet are anonymous.

Revathy was one of the few writers on chowk who wrote for the pleasure of writing, rather than to belittle anyone.

I shared Revathys views about god and religion, and remember what she wrote in support of one of my articles a little more than a year ago:
http://www.chowk.com/show_article.cgi?aid=00005969&channel=civic%20center&threshold=1&layout=0&order=0&start=250&end=259&page=1#33


Bravo, Mr. Parthasarathy. I applaud your courage and frankness in saying what many people probably feel but are too timorous to say out aloud. Humanity as a whole seems to have lapsed considerably into tribalism instead of bringing barriers down crashing and seeing the strong common threads that hold us all together. What boring gods we have created! Little better than the angry old men of the tribe, gods who are petty and vengeful, gods who have created a violent, unjust world.

The word `religion` stinks, but let us admit that man and his need for transcendance have created great art, great literature, great music. Think of the wonders of temple architecture, great Islamic mosques and the cathedrals of Europe that soar towards the sky! Such a pity that they do not house gods worthy of them.

reva315


We need more brave people like you, Reva!
Rest in Peace

Sad news indeed. My sincere condolences to Revati`s family. May her soul rest in peace.

``I could Invent a Religion`` is in my view her epitome. I feel CHOWK owes her a feature on the FP, preferably written by another chowkie who knew her personally. May God Bless her in his infinite Mercy.
Rest in Peace

I re-read her piece of May last year on the subject of her diagnosis with cancer, and was struck by how bravely she faced this ultimate challenge. ina lilla hai wa ina elehai rajioon. May she rest in peace.

``Ek shamma jul rahee thee so voh bhi khamosh hai``

Sad news.. At least she`s free from physical pain and suffering.

Revathy Gopal was a Pearl.

#9 she was such an enlightened old soul

I always respected and looked forward to reading Revathy`s work. I am saddened to hear of her passing and pray that it is a peaceful one.

This is sad.

Here are a few selected pieces from Revathy Gopal interacts on this web-site – they read even better when taken out of their context. :)

On Religion

{I have specifically said ``freedom from religion,`` not freedom from God. There`s a difference.}

{I am in no way stomping on any one else`s right to believe in whoever or whatever they will. Just don`t get taken in by the hollow claptrap offered by gurus and godmen and yes, godwomen too. Being rational and still a believer is quite possible. The comfort of faith is tremendous.}

{Everything has to come into living, celebrations and charity and compassion and cleansing oneself of prejudice and bigotry. Again, taking the best from all religions, what`s wrong with that? The Sermon on the Mount, and Mohommed`s teachings of equality and justice and Jain teachings of reverence for all life... one can see good in all great philosophies.}

{Burning people alive has become a hallmark of the Hindu Right.}

{Humanity as a whole seems to have lapsed considerably into tribalism instead of bringing barriers down crashing and seeing the strong common threads that hold us all together. What boring gods we have created! Little better than the angry old men of the tribe, gods who are petty and vengeful, gods who have created a violent, unjust world. The word `religion` stinks, but let us admit that man and his need for transcendance have created great art, great literature, great music.}

{It`s only a few years back perhaps that I got rid of that feeling, force-fed at convent school, that there was this great eye-in-the sky looking down on me, giving me brownie points for `good`and subtracting several hundreds for being`bad`. Not that that eye kept me from being `bad if I really wanted to. I think, people pretty much do what they want, regardless of whether they think they will be punished or rewarded.}

{We are told stories, myths, legends, other people`s ideas but what are the facts as you and I have really experienced and understood, outside of religious belief and the need to believe? I have experienced miracles in my life but that does not compel me to jump to conclusions. I have adopted a wait and watch attitude. The world is a vast, beautiful mystery. For me poetry provides answers or at least hints and suggestions}

{Holiness is not conferred by some lazy journalist sitting at a desk or by right-wing parties from the Centre.}

On Society

{You really must rid yourself of these stereotypes, dear Harimau. For you the comfort of being Tam Brahm and raising it at every juncture is the same as someone in a burqa feeling protected and safe and complete.}

{In an ideal situation, you would not even be asked which community you came from. Just to say one is Indian would be, should be enough. But we are far from living in an ideal state aren`t we, my brothers?}

{In a country where the majority community cannot see its way to being generous and large-hearted, instead invent ways to keep minorities cowed down and poor, one cannot even begin to speak of one nation, indivisible.}

{Our societies are so layered... how would someone who hasn`t even had two square meals a day, react to the comfort and seeming security of a middle-class existence?}

{There are Goa`s and Goa`s. Yours is a romantic, dream-scape, I think I`ve seen a not-so-rosy side.}

On FMG

{I read this with my heart thumping madly. I wanted to scream. How can women do this to their own children or to any child at all? It`s not just Muslim women but all women who live whole normal lives who must protest worldwide. How can such things be? Why do men allow it? Do they want their women in constant pain and danger? Where does love come into all this?}

On Caste

{Caste and its subtext, discrimination against other humans, will exist in one form or another for ever, But if each one of us who inveighs against society and fellow-contributors to Chowk(!), can contribute time to teach, send one child from a poor family to school, or help with nutrition, hygiene, uniforms, books, fees, it can make an immense difference.}

On Understanding

{We are so fond of yelling insults at each other, (just take the responses to this article), we lose sight of the main picture. The worst thing is to say,``I``m fine, and me and mine are fine, I couldn`t care less what happens to the rest!``}

On Women

{I think emotions play a far greater role in women`s lives than in men`s, for whatever reason. To be able to regard emotions with wariness, examine them intellectually and then dissect them in prose or poetry, is to have travelled a great distance from being slave to them.}

{Fighting your individual battle to remain who you are, the multiple-personed `you` is really the good fight.}

{Love is such a bit_ch, isn`t it? Whatever you may do, not do, there`s heartache. Women can never seem to get it right, and other women do them in!}

On Writing

{I know my family sniggered when I said I wanted to write, probably because I was such a dud where important things like math and science were concerned! One begins writing almost furtively, under cover of darkness as it were and attempts to work one`s way into the light with an almost defiant stance. Clarity comes with writing, one is fighting obscurantists, orthodoxy, to subvert prevailing cobwebs. Am I being at all clear?}

{Can you imagine a baby crawling around where there is wet paint flowing? The only consolation I can offer is that babies become grown men and women and you recede into their past, or into the dark corners of their mutilated imaginations and psyches!!}

My personal favorite!

{Hello BeeJay, Thank you for your posting in response to this piece... fidelity to country, such a beautiful idea but you will find so many contrary voices trying to take the easy way out. Everyone questions the very idea of patriotism, or the need for a nation as such. Is it condemned to remain only an idea? Most young people resent having to study history--that is where I began the article. So the stored memory of the past has to be made attractive enough to offer the young and not by just saying how wonderful that past was, or by making films like Mangal Pandey but by trying to establish the facts of the time. Making kids do their own research would be valuable, so one must utilise modern methods of teaching, sitting in libraries, consulting the Internet, doing small projects. It is truly daunting to think of the vastness that is our history, but how does one begin to understand? }

Re: # 9

Thank you for extracting these quotes from her comments on Chowk. We`ll forward it to her family.

To the family of Revathy:
Please accept my most sincere condolences on the loss of your loved one.


I remember reading her article last year about her struggle against breast cancer, quite touching.

Death is always a sad thing in a man`s life. I didn`t know Revathy Gopal well although I had seen her columns at Chowk. The news of her death saddened me. Death is a debt we all must pay as Euripides wrote.

Also many of us fear death although frequently it is a release from pain and misery. According to Bernard Shaw, ``Death is for many of us the gate of hell; but we are inside on the way out, not outside on the way in.``

May she rest in peace.

Mohammad Gill

May her soul rest in peace.

SHe will be missed by us all here.

#33

She was young 60 years old and she died in India...reading her articles they were spread over short period of time ......form 2002 to 2005

May god bles hr soul and may she rest in peace

That`s sad news. I hope she did not suffer too much. She`s at peace now, anyway.

I am deeply sorry to hear this. It`s not often we lose one of our own. How old was she may I ask? Cancer survival rates in the west have improved dramatically in the last decade or so. I hope the same happens in pakindistan.

Unfinished Portrait

(My sincere condolences to Ms. Gopal’s family members, to her friends and to chowk website on losing one of its own. In her May 6, 2006 write-up on this site entitled “A Moment in Time”, Ms. Gopal discussed some of the complex feelings that breast cancer patients undergo. Here are some of her own words – in a different format …and in a very different and very final context!)

“…Without warning?
Well, not necessarily.
Your body,
old sturdy mate,
friend,
the one you trusted
to go on unshakeably
forever,
has caved.
No more
junkets,
fad diets,
loading on the pounds,
maligning,
(that mal-word again!)
undermining
at whim…
… what is it,
if not dread?
No,
I robustly counter.
I am not afraid.
Is this not a moment
we have encountered before
in dream
or playacting?
…The whole martyrdom scenario?
See,
how calm I am,
my hand,
look Ma,
no trembling,
no quivering lip.
Underplay,
underplay,
this is the role of a lifetime!
No pain.
No pain is good…”

We received the following yesterday from V Ramaswamy in Calcutta.
+++

Dear Friends

This is to inform you that Revathy Gopal, a columnist for Chowk, passed away a little while ago.

Revathy had been battling cancer since April last year. She and her family fought a very brave battle, keeping up hope and untiring efforts even in the face of grim reports.

In the last week, her condition took a severe downturn, and she began sinking. And in the end, even when she was completely enfeebled and disabled, her mind, her voice, her will and her faculty of infinite love remained undiminished.

Revathy was my mother`s youngest sister. She has been a part of my life from my infancy. It is a devastating tragedy for us. She loved life, loved her family, and was an awesome care-giver. She would have been 60 this year.

Farewell dear Revathy. Its the pearly gates for you. We should celebrate your liberation from pain and suffering. You shall ever remain a source of love and inspiration to us.

V Ramaswamy
Calcutta / INDIA