Inzi Post-Bob: An Interview

btw Paracha sahib thanks for a great cricket interview with that potbellied beehive-bearded Maulana Inzimamulhaque Multani on his prayer rug playing field.

IF, the breaking news is true then the overtly religious Mullah Inzi and Mullah Mustaq are just another bunch of hypocrites who killed Bob. Religiosity is not imparting any virtues here, it seems.

IFF the news is true then that`s the lowest the Pak cricket team as well as Pakistan can go.

NFP, you`re article is in extremely bad taste.

It wasn`t funny just sick.

The whole world and it`s wife are mourning Bob`s sad demise but NFP here decides to write a satire poking fun!

Preety funny....well i think since all crickters talked about Islam..they should have won the match then..it`s like insulting the religion...man god knows wat`s wrong with ppl..Allah won`t help his ppl until his ppl will helpthemselves.....wake up ..helllo...

NFP seems to have some serious grudge against Raiwind`s Tableeghi jamat.. i really feel sorry for NFP for mocky someone`s relegious, i guess its the only thing he does whenever he`s tense ...had the team performed well ,nobody would have associated them with tableegh

I would not be surprised if Tableeghi Jamaat bookies are involved in Bob woolmer`s murder.

Re: # 39 hamidm

Hanumanji bhi fail ho gaye, janaab. Henceforth, FSM will be my god.

........ this ignominious loss is yet another nail in al-lah mian`s coffin - he is dead and should now be buried with some dignity along with his favourite prophet ! ...........

........... look at the state of the ummah from morocco to indonesia - politically, economically and socially they are getting their prayer-raised butts whopped by everyone from the puny isrealis to the dal-eating hindoos ............ and now al-lah`s mighty cricket team gets buggered by the followers of a little known prophet whose sole claim to fame has been driving out snakes from a little island - no visits to heaven or splitting the moon like mo of mecca ......... what more proof do we need that we have been worshiping a false god ? ....... even if he is a real god, it is clear that al-lah mian and mo are no match for st paddy, jesus son of mary, hanuman the monkey king, and the black lady from the bronx who can tell your future and cure your gout for twenty dollars ...... it is time we dumped these imposters and hitched our wagon to someone who is more competent .......

Re: # 41
Koran 9:11 actually reads:

[9.11] But if they repent and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate, they are your brethren in faith; and We make the communications clear for a people who know.

Could someone check this please:

I read this at http://forum.classicalarchives.com/messages/1000/1001.html?1172486092

The following verse is from the Koran, (the Islamic Bible)

Koran (9:11 ) - For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; and there was peace.

Is this a correct quote from Koran?

Re: # 42

Shanti, shanti, Hamidm sahib. Itna gussa Hamidm sahib ko kyon aata hai?

......... before some muslim with a bruised forehead and calloused ankles jumps out of his shalwar to ptotest that al-lah mian has nothing to do with cricket and other such mundane things, i would like to tell him if that is true then he should stop invoking his name everytime he and his friends pick up a cricket bat or pass gas .......... it is sickening to watch these people preface everything with bismillah and inshallah if they really don`t think al-lah mian is not interested in their silly antics on the field .......... stop it !........ this nonsensical arabic gibberish is extremely irritating ! ......... let`s use `gesundheit` and `shalom` like other civilized people (and you there!... stop clasping your hands and muttering nonsense in sanskrit or whatever - that is just as disgusting as sallamo`laikuming all over the place)

actually, this was pretty funny. i mean i read it, and then a few minutes later i started grinning. i`m grinning right now, even! whats that smell though? huh? what..? shit!?? i set fire to my shirt! frikkin cherries!??

There is a thin line between constructive cynicism and criticizing for the sake of criticism. This article surely doesn`t observe any such boundaries and limitations. Mr. Paracha goes on and on about influence of `mullaism` over cricket until it ceases to be funny. Now, I am not a `mulla` supporter and frankly, quite disappointed by Pakistan`s defeat. However, none of it justifies the above article.

Interviewer: Hello Baaghi …

Baaghi: Bismillah-ur-Rehman-ur-Rahim … first, thanks to Almighty Allah for this interview and …

Interviewer: Of course … so tell us, what made you write this admittedly funny crap?

Baaghi: Bismillah-ur-Rehman-ur-Rahim … firstly, thanks to Almighty Allah, the team went flop …

Interviewer: You mean they lost …

Baaghi: No, they went flop …

Interviewer: Okay, but they did not play well …

Baaghi: No, they went flop – because it matches better with my next line which goes – then Bob went plop…

Interviewer: Right. Now, can we talk about the write-up for a change?

Baaghi: Why?

Interviewer: What do you mean, why? You’re a chowk writer!

Baaghi: Bismillah-ur-Rehman-ur-Rahim, mostly thanks to my existential angst …

Interviewer: That happened many years ago.

Baaghi: Yes, I know … I also learn math in order to carry out a perfect foil …

Interviewer: Right. So, what went wrong with this write-up?

Baaghi: I came out of my existential hiding …

Interviewer: And...

Baaghi: I needed somebody’s hide …

Interviewer: And just then, Bob died…!

Baaghi: You see the magic of the rhyme, too!

Interviewer: I don’t care how it rhymes, tell me why you picked one person’s tragic ending to take a jab at the inadequacies of another? Why were you so spineless?

Baaghi: Writers don’t have spine. Thanks to Almighty Allah, satirists are writers, too!

Interviewer: So, about the write-up. What went wrong?

Baaghi: Bob died.

Interviewer: Yes, but the poor chap died after you guys crashed out of the World Cup.

Baaghi: Very unfortunate his death … very unfortunate. I think it was lack of a sense of history and socio-political purpose.

Interviewer: Baaghi, you are talking matha-phore-ically.

Baaghi: Mathaas are haraam. Look what happened to the Beej?

Interviewer: What happened to the Beej?

Baaghi: He died.

Interviewer: I thought he was killed.

Baaghi: No, you nonsense!

Interviewer: Sigh. Okay, tell us what was you biggest achievement in this write-up?

Baaghi: Good talk, good talk … we boys say Karma …

Interviewer: You mean, as in singing the bhajan!

Baaghi: Yes, yes, I like aloo ki bhaaji also, especially with Paracha, I mean paratha …

Interviewer: What nonsense!

Baaghi: No, no nonsense … if aaloo, I mean Laloo, become Muslim, Pakistan surely inshallah, mahshalla win cup!

Interviewer: But…

Baaghi: Exactly. But for the cut…!!

Interviewer: Baaghi, sorry to say this, but for long it has been noticed that with all this capitalism-gaining-ground and capitalism-bashing-going-nowhere happening, you and some of your chowk boys have started to lose not only your verbiage and form, but your grip on reality as well …

Baaghi: Are you saying my boys are indecent? Firstly, thanks to its management, all boys now naik and clean and decent …

Interviewer: And it’s not even your usual write-up anymore. It has been taken over, mauled, finished!

Baaghi: No, only you gone – the cynical sell-out and glorifier of mediocrity!

Interviewer: But you guys are paid to write, not to bite.

Baaghi: No, only you – you deluded recluse!

Interviewer: Never mind. Thank you for talking to me, Baaghi. And good luck.

Baaghi: No, thanks to The Arousal and the Almighty Allah …

Interviewer: Yes, him too.

Baaghi: You are good muffin!

Interviewer: Here, have a Pepto-Bismal!

hamidm i have never met anyone who hates themselves as much as you do. you must seriously have been abused as a child to display such an inferiority complex.