Splinter

Wow..not even ten days away from Chowk and look what I`ve missed! Had no clue that this piece of mine had even been put on line yet (thought the length might be a bit off putting to Chowk staff). Thanks for everyone who has stopped by to leave a comment..really appreciate that you all read my stuff. Guys, I am a writer of strict fiction (aiming to be literary)n certainly not memoir-style essays..you can see from my bio that I am no Aaleen. All of echoboom`s comments have been deleted so have no idea what all that was about..but guess I missed some fireworks! Neembu looking forward to your feedback; I`m always keen to look at my writing through other`s critical eyes and in my world criticism is a good thing.

I HATE divorce

New biography: Hillary nixed divorce idea (Seattle Times)
Published 05/27/2007
Bill Clinton wanted to leave Hillary in 1989 but she worried about being a single mom and wouldn`t give him a divorce, according to a new...


Maybe it`s better this way: Student weighs in on divorce (Battle Creek Enquirer)
Published 05/27/2007
According to research the divorce rate in the United States has generally been going up throughout the 20th Century until its peak in the late 1970s. Since that peak, the rate of divorce has been slowly declining. Right now it`s averaging to one out of every two marriages. People that divorce have found that they just weren`t cut out for each other in the first place.


Divorce, politics and the Clinton ambitions (Times Online)
Published 05/26/2007
Bill Clinton wanted to divorce his wife in 1989 for another woman with whom he had fallen in love but Hillary Clinton forbade it, according to one of two new highly unflattering books about the former First Lady. The volumes confronted her 2008 presidential campaign yesterday with its primal fear: fresh allegations about her deeply complicated marriage.

To move from the concrete to the abstract and back again with such fluidity - without losing the flow of thought - is an achievement expertly managed by the writer. What an enjoyable read! Keep writing, Zahra.

bj,

........ you are absolutely right in that the ``essence of a successful marriage is a conscious subordination of one’s individuality to the needs of others``, but there are some differences that can be very difficult to reconcile, specially if they stem from race, religion, culture and ideology ........ as individuals people might be able to overcome their differences, but friends and family can make it very difficult .........

Re: # 4

``All marriages are compromises – a compromising of individual differences – which can be traced a bit to upbringing but are mostly a gift from nature. The differences get more accentuated when lives are subjected to stress. Fifty percent of American marriage shall end up in a divorce! Cultural differences impose stress. Cataclysmic events aided by cultural differences play havoc on human-to-human relationships.

Yet some relationships shall endure – some would not. What makes a relationship go one way or the other is rooted into individual differences and blaming 9/11 is at best a cop-out! The essence of a successful marriage is a conscious subordination of one’s individuality to the needs of others – for the greater good! Not everyone has the ability of such sacrifice. Human nature is by and large selfish. ``

BJ, you are a genius my friend. You will make an excellent marriage counselor :)

#19

I agree. This piece is sensitively written. That commodity is sorely lacking among most chowk authors.

Most of the write-ups - especially of the Civic Center variety - slide like sand through the hourglass.

Making a grating sound, monotonic - and meaning very little.

Why are my Pakistani freinds here such hypocrites when it comes to administering ``justice``?!!

Why, why, why?!!

Perhaps the concept is alien?!!

#18 by hamidm2 on May 25, 2007 8:23am PT

hamidm2 stuff,

........ i think it is extremely unfair that you would think of fairness when it comes to mian echoboom but the fact that Ms. Sadna has been in the same slammer on apparently far flimsier grounds is absolutely no botheration to you. Or is it so because she is highly unlikely to steer the conversation between you and mian Tahmed towards tea and sex ....... no wonder the poor Indians are less than convinced of your ``fair`` credentials ........

#20 Only English fluent people matters in uSA .
The vernacular literature are not even noticed or appreciated

quality wise it (in urdu,)may be better`Afsana` or poetry

Re: # 19

Do you mean she`s lucky to be in ameica because she writes well? What exactly is the link between the two?

She writes well ...lucky to be in America

chowk staff,

........ i think it is extremely unfair that you won`t let echoboom participate in this discussion on tea and sex ....... no wonder the poor man is paranoid ........

Re: # 15

bj,

........ only the queen and gay people make tea like that any more - the rest of us simply throw in a teabag into a cup of water heated in the microwave ....... anyway, i like my tea without milk unless it is ``doodh-pati`` - tea boiled in milk with sugar added (it is even better if you throw in a few poppy buds to make it ``dodian aali cha``)

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#13 Hamidm2

[making them a cup of tea...]

...EVERY morning!

For the rest of their lives.

I do believe that it is strictly an Indian trait, though!

Like somebody once said...

...bandar kya jaaney, adrakh ka swaad!...

Take a good look, mian! And try not to cry!

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nice, well written ......... i enjoyed it, but i can see why echo`s wilted muslim manhood would feel threatened by it ........ it is bad enough that they have all the money and all the toys, but now they are coming after our women .......... as much as we love our sheep and camels, a woman comes in handy for cooking, cleaning and procreation without unnecessary foreplay and all that other nonsense like calling them `honey` and making them a cup of tea .......

Re: # 11
Thanks Kaka-I thought Echoboom Sahib`s ``enlightened`` post had been banned, no doubt for being too ``enlightening``.

I supposed if the white, male protagonist had been Muslim, there would have been an italicized, multi colored, 22 font paaen to the glories of the umma and conversion. I would have looked forward to the resonance of Boom Bomb Chacha`s 3rd grade punctuation around the idea how the Umma works for against class stratification.

But I guess as the protag may not have converted (which is the wrong assumption to make, given our hypocritical religious and cultural policing of the female half of the Muslim world), Boom Boom Chacha found the necessary spirit in his ``Muslim`` heart to condemn another character as ``trash``....

irony, indeed.

Re: # 9

`#9 by echoboom on May 24, 2007 4:55am PT

Looks like the KanjarR class of Pakiland is trying to rear its ugly head here.

They must be exposed & demoralised so that they do not spread their westoxicated toxic-waste among muslim women.

Get lost .

Go back to your white-trash trailer-boy scum.`

Brother Boom,

What exactly is the issue here? Pakistani girl should not marry white guy? Muslim girl should not marry white guy? What about the other way around?

Brother, use this board to articulate your concerns in non-cliched terms, since there is no other discussion about this article..

PS. Tazeen moTo, are you envious to see love in this article?!

there is something wrong with the narrator. sounds like a surrogate of Aaleen character trying to write her story in a third-person. Not to mention Aaleen seems very very much into arundhati-roy-like writing.


``but even those names have been taken over and absorbed into this country which leeches things from everywhere and spits them out indifferently.``

``I`m American, our names don`t mean anything.`` -- Pulp Fiction. [same idea, different tone]

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yawn .....

You write beautifully.

Touching story, hope you write more

#1 Neembu

[Let me know if you are interested in feedback.]

Aah, nothing like the feedback of a lemon!

Or was that a lemon of a feedback?!!

Desi Jane Fonda marries Amrikkan and lives happily ever after – or at least until 9/11 comes along, which is a watershed event.

9/11 was a watershed event, for sure. It came like a deluge and ruined many lives – mostly small lives.

Hating is wrong. Stereotyping is wrong.

Yet, everybody does it – at least unconsciously. Education makes little difference – it only provides a “polish” so people can express their biases in more socially-acceptable ways.

All marriages are compromises – a compromising of individual differences – which can be traced a bit to upbringing but are mostly a gift from nature. The differences get more accentuated when lives are subjected to stress. Fifty percent of American marriage shall end up in a divorce! Cultural differences impose stress. Cataclysmic events aided by cultural differences play havoc on human-to-human relationships.

Yet some relationships shall endure – some would not. What makes a relationship go one way or the other is rooted into individual differences and blaming 9/11 is at best a cop-out! The essence of a successful marriage is a conscious subordination of one’s individuality to the needs of others – for the greater good! Not everyone has the ability of such sacrifice. Human nature is by and large selfish.

Next!

“…starched white cloth covering her…” WHAT?

What a sneaky, but surefire way to get the interest of the old fogies of the chowk world all perked up – and now starting to hum…

…abhie to main jawaan hoon!

And a cup of tea to top it all off! The husbands of the world who take the trouble to make tea for their wives shall forever triumph!

Zahra Romana, you are off the hook! You have redeemed yourself.

Reading between the lines. Glimpses of the obvious yet oblivious. Multi-faceted realities. Quiet, reassuring tingles of attachment. Colors of flora. Eternity traced backwards. Sinking restlessness. To feel free. Hope. Love.

Some of the phrases and terms that I became momentarily and consciously aware of as I read through this story. I hope that you will continue to write. After all, humans need soul-food, too, every now and then.

Peace!

this is a beautiful short story. Lovely.

I love that the ballad of John and Aaleen is not cut and dry. It is very human. The issues are not logical, but emotional.

Aaleen feels different and apart now, it is not the same, and perhaps never will be. It is not John`s fault, but he is certainly part of the larger picture in which she feels she no longer belongs.

A companion piece to this would be Mohsin Ahmed`s ``The reluctant fundamentalist``.

The story shows a nuanced depth, and I look forward to reading more from you.

--cheers
TSm

Mostly good and some parts cliched. Let me know if you are interested in feedback.