Just a Woman

aisha,

........ the first thing that strikes you when you land in pakistan is the relative absence of women in public and the unblinking stares of men focussed on the few brave souls who dare to venture out ........... as somone said earlier, this sexual frustration is the result of the segregation of sexes at a very young age ........ i have noticed a marked difference in attitude between my nephews who go to co-ed schools and those who go to all boys schools - the boys who go to co-ed schools tend to be more comfortable, polite and `civilized` around women ........ i feel sorry for the poor boys who grow up thinking that women are beings from another planet - they tend to behave like uncouth `dangars` ..........

....... next time use mace instead of relying on the guards ........

...it`s funny to see chowk publishing the said article depicting the everyday harassment of a female in pakistan whie women are insulted, called dirtiest na,es on a daily basis on chowk and no one gives a damn untill the reciver of the sexual insults is chowk`s ex editor who took a longer than expected hiatus for unknown reasons and has not been since...thank god for small mercies...the champions of chowk in the art of hurting, insulting and abusing females are: drum roll please... zeemax, the defender of the faith and salim chauhan, the chameleon...but chowk thinks it`s kosher then it must be...

Re: # 23

bj,

....... that was really funny ! ......... enjoyed it (as always)...... please feel free to post all the homoerotic pictures you want - you have redeemed yourself (again) !

http://blanknoiseproject.blogspot.com/
This is an org in India dedicated to empowering women and educating men about eve teasing.
It has done good work in recent years.
As Shandana has said, raising a voice through all means possible is a part of the solution.
Aisha, if you dont mind, do submit your writeup to the Blank Noise Project as well.
Thanks.

#23 bjkumar

OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!

Indeed!!

Its a nice article highlighting as to what actually we as a women living in society like ours have to face.

But the thing is what is the solution to this problem??

Is there any solution at all???

revolutionization of the patriarchal mindset is the only way out, i guess.

Yaraan, I was not trying to distract from the seriousness of the issue at hand, just thought a bit of humor will do us good - at Yasser`s expense, too (hey, what are the ``worse half``s for?!)

Dear HP,

I am reasonably sure that self styled English professors from India like Alephnull can probably not utter a single sentence in the English language without making an utter fool of themselves (and when they do survive that it is usually because the accent is so utterly incomprehensible to the other person) ... hence the anal retentiveness when it comes to grammar... it is a deep-rooted colonial complex really or maybe something even deeper, a sense of insecurity because this fellow often boasts about ``backpacking through Europe``. The primary purpose of language is communication and as far as communication goes the article has made its points well.

On another thought, there may be a case for Alephnull to go and correct the homies when they say ``it don`t`` instead of ``it doesn`t``... but there I suspect, A`null has complexes of another kind.

Readers,

Don`t bother to read the original article where you will need to decipher all the cliches and ungrammatical English and all. Just read post #23 for the actual episode narrated by Aisha Sarwari ji.


# 23, bjkumar Saheb,

Are you a script writer or something? You can expect some Bollywood producer come knocking at your door any time. Nice!

Samar

Dear Aisha Sarwari

Excellent! article so far on front page....
Bravo!
I must admit you took a really bold and first step to a very important issue for Pakistani women......
Aisha sista
The step that you have taken to expose the harassment of Pakistani women on the streets is the big step to end this harassment for women folks....you deserve a great appreciation for NOT putting up with this d for speaking up for your right to take you as an equal Pakistani citizen, not just a weak woman....

Yes, sadly, Pakistani women have to face such kind of harassment in their daily lives and they are expected to put up with such harassment wit dignity...and people have accepted such harassment the part and parcel of their society.....they have accepted as such abuse and harassment as the norm of society......that`s so unfortunate.

I must admit, I have always faced such situations in Pakistan, but, in USA have never experienced such harassment....In Pakistan, I can`t even think about going out in public alone without anyone.....
On the contrary, in USA I always travel alone.....never faced anything like that......and sad thing is , it is Pakistan where they remind and preach women to be subdued and submissive, in USA nobody tells women to be submissive or subdued, they do what they want to do without any danger of being harassed.......

You know why?B/c of strict law enforcement policies....

When I am in Pakistan, I always tell others,``Please, don`t remind me who I am , where I can go and where I can`t, what I can wear and what I can`t, stop patronizing my life with your unnecessary reminder for me , how to carry myself,how to stand,how to talk, how to look in my own homeland? without feeling at home.....
I do not tell these Pakistani men to respect me as their own family females,but, to take me as an equal human being and as an equal Pakistani citizen who can roam in the bazaars just like Pakistani men without any threatening environment and why not? Every Pakistani lady is as much a Pakistani citizen as any gentleman is? And My question to these Pakistani men is, `` listen, we Pakistani ladies just wish to roam around without the four walls of our homes just to feel free,that doesn`t mean we wish to be seen or we wish to be visible for men.....Just think about it.

The same society takes these men breaking every kinds of norms as norms,but, when any woman even tries to hang out in the streets of Pakistan, the same woman is considered ,``rebellious, Bit*h``etc, etc....

Pakistani society`s perspective needs to be educated about taking women as some objects of desire....they should be treated with dignity and respect, not like puppets.....

Let me tell you about my own experiences in Pakistan, I have had been harassed there no matter which dresses I wear.....whether I wear Jeans,shalwar kameez, chaddar, dupatta......I felt the same threatening environment for women out there on the streets......

Trust me, one day I even tried to wear burqa,but, I felt the samething......So, my whole point is, it has got nothing to do with dresses..........Whole society`s concept about taking women as objects need to be changed......and also strict law enforcements needs to be implemented.....

And that`s the reality and cruel reality.....

Pakistanis need to be mentally educated regarding this sad situation....

Stop street violence against Pakistani women....

Aisha, Here is a quote from Angelika Schaser`s study of the patriotic German women`s movement in the `Second Reich`.

Male-only nation

Practically every new nation that was founded denied women citizenship rights, specifically the suffrage that was allotted to males, always with an apparatus of gendered `role` allotments. I take most of my examples here from the Kaiserreich (Germany 1871-1918), because that`s what I`m studying - but also because it is a fascinating example in itself.

In Imperial Germany, as Schaser puts it, ``the nation-state was composed of male individuals``. Only men had the right to vote and bear arms, men were in executive control of the family, men had superior education. Women belonged to the world principally through the family, while men accessed the world through a variety of vital channels. The ‘natural’ boundaries for women were drawn around the three ‘K’s – Kinder, Kuche, Kirche (children, kitchen and church). Under the Civil Legal Code (initially elaborated in the 1870s, but finally made law in 1896), married women had no say in child’s education, and all property or money in marriage became the husband’s responsibility.

The code states: ``the husband takes the decisions in all matters affecting married life``. The practice of abortion carried a 5 year sentence, and woman suspected of prostitution had to undergo examination by the ‘Morals Police’ (Sittenpolizei), while male clients faced no such humiliation. The state placed the full responsibility of the consequences of sexual interaction on women, while apportioning the full ownership of its benefits to men. Aside from that, the prohibition on abortion can be seen as an effort to exert strict control over the reproduction of society. This, of course, is not unknown: in the Soviet Union, which was the first country to legalize abortion in 1920, abortion was outlawed again in 1936, at the height of the mass deaths from famine and repression, and only legalised again in 1955. ``

In Israel, as Yural-Davis - herself an Israeli dissident - points out, abortion rights are severely restricted and rather controversial with the right-wing, in part because of the `racial` or - to put it more euphemistically - `demographic` struggle with Palestine.

She also recalls that females who chose sterility were upbraided by for inviting ``national death`` and ``race suicide`` by one Theodore Roosevelt (this at a time when the United States government was practicing a crude form of eugenics). `Race`, of course, with its trope of extended family, of blood-lines and originary human communities, of purity and decadence, is the sina qua none of a highly gendered nationalism.”


As we clearly see that the problems that women in our part of the world face are not so uncommon. The liberal West was not any different just 100 years ago. If you allow me to add, women still get teased in the west. The difference is that now they don’t have to call the cops for help but they can, if they so desire, respond back as aggressively as they can.

I think this an important subject and despite some moron picking on the grammar here, the importance of your point is not diminished in any way.

Let me ask you a question: With the way the society is in Pakistan and elsewhere where women are easy picking, you may have encountered this male behavior on many occasions, can you consistently sustained the approach you took in this particular incident?

A woman writes an article on the indecent behaviour she had to face from men.

All that the men who managed to read it could make out were grammatical errors and typos.

But I don`t blame them.

That`s them. Men. Or rather, desi- men.

And thats exactly how far they can go.

Wonder when we will have more of women security guards.

And when desi-women will learn to tease back.

Cant help remembering the instances when I have seen gora men hold back ther sons telling them``let the lady pass``.

Thats culture. A different one.

Re: # 23

BJ man...you rock...

I have been a fan of your follow-up articles since you wrote ``Ya Allah Tera Shukar hay`` ...about a year ago...

This one is equally good...if not better...

I really enjoyed it.

Cheers
Ahmad Hayat

#13 by ANull

The “unholyshitonthefaceandinthemouth” a-hole is back as grammar Nazi now. This ahole couple of years ago was a self styled intellectual. It did not take long to take the juice out of that balloon. Heheheheh…..

There was a time when this ahole was at least attempting to impress some turds, now he is down to finding grammatical errors.

“unholyshitonthefaceandinthemouth” a-hole, how about you write something here for us to judge how you present your ideas w/o any grammatical errors? Why pick on others, why not show your mettle right here?

Suggested topic: Dhoti and its benefits in rural Kerala. Heheheh….

Re: # 23

LOL. Dear BJ, I have been incredibly rude to you in the past for various reasons but this one deserves a bow. Or two. Please take them.

Burpy

So let me get this straight...somebody ``greeted you with strange familiarity and boldness``...why be coy? What exactly did he say?

``I asked for a clarification from him, and he went on to make generally trivial chit-chat about his friend giving me a call later.``

Errrr.....he asked out on a date (on behalf of his friend)? THAT`S what got you in such a tizzy?

And pardon me if I read it wrong, but your Bond-girl antics resulted in the wrong person (the guy who`s part in the ``crime`` was restricted to ``laughing about it and didn’t tell his friend to take a break``) being ass-whopped, whatever that is, and subjected to ``kicking, shoving and slaps`` while his friend, the one you had the problem with, was blissfully unaware of all this.

It seems to me that at the end of it all, YOU were the one who came out the better for it- not only did you get your apology (proxy hee sahee) but you had the entire might of the parking lot security force standing behind you in your quest for justice. Though- pardon this simple soul- the alleged crime is still not clear in my feeble mind.

Next time you attempt to appeal to chowk`s righteous indignation and garner a few smpathy votes for yourself, can you please ease off on the Jinnah quotes, the pop psychology/social commentary (``chauvinists thrive on women’s passivity`` and my favourite, ``mother-whore dichotomy``), the attempts at humour, etc? Just tell the story in all its detail and allow us to make up our own minds about how badly you were treated.

And yes, those fat books you see with ``Oxford``, ``Webster`` etc. written across them in the bookstore/ Those are called DICTIONARIES. Get one, willya.