Worlds Apart

I apologize I was in a rush and did not have time to elaborate. When next I peruse a story by you, I will keep in mind your request.

Re: # 47

Thanks for the comments...would've been nice if you'd enlightened me about the grammatical errors too.

Barring the grammatical errors, this was well written. Good to know all Bradford girls are not hellbent on divorce in the first year. I know many American-born girls who have been married at an early age to men "back home"; it has worked out for some, not for other, but for many who stuck it out, it has been worth it. They now are "gracefully aging" just like Ranya with their own large broods populating the earth everywhere.

Stroke of luck Ahsan chose to move to a less oppressive environment early on. But for that circumstance, the marriage would likely have pewtered out eventually. But realistically this story applies to many couples who decide to "stick it out". Not uncommon.

My thoughts sprang to the moment in the story, after reading the whole piece, when Raniya struggles to break free from her life in Pakistan. At that moment, at that very moment, what if nothing said or done had been sufficient to change her mind? If she had decided to leave Ahsan and go back to England, and did, would she be at fault? I wonder what really made her change her mind about giving it another try. Seems to me that she defied her (and of human) sense of reason and normalcy when she decided to give her life with Ahsan another try, and that too in a short few moments. But why?

Re: # 43
Thank you for your comments.

If Raniya had chosen not to stay and give Ahsan a chance at that particular moment, she would`ve been the poorer for it, but not to blame nonetheless.

Ahsan was a loving husband, as were the parents-in-law. They belonged to another world, and that was the whole point/problem. Their reference points were different form Raniya`s. What seemed suffocating to Raniya was acceptable to the rest. It was only when she expressed her frustration that Ahsan was able to see her point of view - there`s value in communication! He loved her enough to want to change things in order to make her happy, and not dismiss her cries for mere hysterics. She had no reason to doubt his word - for she hadn`t asked for anything before then, and been disappointed - and it would not have been against logic to give him a chance to `make it up to her` as he promised.

Re: # 45

Sometimes, thunder shatters the air too close to us and the dark gaping holes of uncertainty and despair begin to sparingly widen. Sometimes, through time, interjects a moment, this moment, where existence latches on to a slanting ledge. When, then, one hears the squeal of one`s fingernails one realizes that death is just a happening, but the real gist of life is the quest for the avoidance of pain.

May be in theory one can assume, at that instant, for a mind to in inverse polarity counter itself. One can, in theory, profess that phenomena like cognizance, reason, justice, and perhaps devotion hold, then, the same meaning they do when one`s soul is not ablaze.

Monet painted the woman with an umbrella, but could she have seen how she looked in that frame? We can do whatever we want to do in theory, we can create universes out of feeble pebbles of sand, or give life to primordial sentinels of eternity.

Raniya, in making her decision to stay with Ahsan, must have asked herself `why` she wanted to leave him while asking herself `why` she wanted to stay. The answer, her answer, lay interlaced somewhere between a scream, a gasp, damnation, hope, love. (How much time it ought to, for someone in her state of mind, take to chart a map out of oblivion and start to walk it?)

You wrote your story, my friend, but, oh, how I wonder, and desire to know, what the lady with the umbrella is feeling right now.

#41 bjkumar

Okay, I went overboard in #41 - in the heat of the moment.

Not all men are creeps, of course. (What do I know - I am just another man!)

However, this writing represents a certain amount of wishful thinking.

Rigid societies do not usually bend themselves to the needs of individuals.

People can learn to adjust to anything, I suppose.

See Tehera, it is not important if the main characters reach their destination, their desired state of Utopia and all the rest. It is the element of CHOICE which is conspicuous by its absence.

Good read (as said earlier) however, and all the best for your future pieces!

#Write-up

Desi Cinderella-e-Pakistan meets REAL life Pakistan and starts ruing – but lucks out and gets a hubby who REALLY understands and takes care of HER needs – so that she can start building her own life around him and start repeating the brain-washing-cycle which can then produce the NEXT generation of desi Cinderella-e-Pakistans! A bit too long, otherwise readable and interesting. Pakistani society is so male dominated and men are SUCH creeps! (Shudder!) The whole society stinks but numbskulls who fancy themselves as the parents are the real culprits – not just for marrying THIS character off like cattle – but even more so for brainwashing her so that she would ACCEPT such crappy fate like cattle!

Re: # 41, #42

I agree that the probability of finding eternal bliss under such circumstances is less, yet this being a short story based on true events gives ample evidence that unexpected things do happen.

You`re right in asserting that men in a male-dominated patriarchial society do tend to abuse their power over women. Yet, no one is all good or bad. All women are also not sweet-innocents! There are many sensible and caring men around who treat women as equals in terms of dignity and human rights. Let`s celebrate such men in this story, hmmm?

The issue of forced marriages is a serious one and under much criticism from all quarters. Change is not easy to accept. Many parents who have raised children abroad tend to feel insecure, wanting to preserve their own culture and pass it on to the next generation. Hence, they settle for even mis-matched proposals of marriage from their own relatives.Things are changing, but it`s a slow process...maturity.

The absence of choice that you`ve mentioned is indeed conspicuous...and that was my point! The marriage was not the children`s choice, but that is as far as it goes. Choosing to give up everything, and then wanting to give it her best shot was Raniya`s choice; to try and make it up to her, was Ahsan`s choice. Both of them made a conscious decision/effort to save their marriage, and succeeded. You see, it takes two to make a quarrel, and two to settle one too!!!

Hope your queries have been effectively addressed...thanks for your comments - I appreciate your interest.

hamzaad:
aren`t you going a li`l overboard with your extrapolations on other interactor`s lives, relationships etc? that`s pretty low. i can see you playing devil`s advocate on issue say `X` but #35 is completely uncalled for.

#28, Naqshabandi, {``what mr. chauhan is saying is he is another drinker from the furry cup. ``}

Naqsh,

``A loaf of bread, a jug of wine ...``} :)

Re: # 30

Mr. Salim_Chauhan/ others

I recall reading quite a few posts regarding ``bread and wine``. This subject seems to pop-up without any need, as far as I can see. Asian Fixation? :)

Could someone write a detailed, exciting, porn story, all about this subject... So that we could get it out of our system?

Writing such a story can`t be against this forums rules, since we can just `spring it out of nowhere` anyway.

Or is it better to mention it in all posts, because it`s a bit like `flashing in public``? The shock value? It titilates more?

And there was me thinking I had to keep quiet about MY fixation! :)

#24 by tolkinin on June 11, 2007 5:05am PT

``on the other hand you might be the hopelessly pessimist who only sees the glass half empty ....there is silver lining to all life``

Arey yaar, Of course there is a silver lining to all life.
The author says it`s a true story. I`m very happy to hear that; and for the couple concerned.
My very best wishes to them.
I know many more, very happy, real life, instances. Some not so good.
The pendulum of nature`s balance, swings.

Now,

I`m sure you didn`t need my crappy comments, even half in jest. But...

Just imagine you are a 16 year old girl from Bradford, reading this story.
What are your `real` chances of going to Pakistan; marrying a educated, enlightened, understanding, loving person... Whose sole aim (and his families), is NOT to use this marriage as a means to get into UK?

A glass half full or half empty, is 50% (in case you didn`t know) ;p
Under those circumstances It`s always better to see the positive.
In fact if I saw it full 25%, I`d still be optimistic.
10% and under... I do get pessimistic. Is that wrong of me?

Now in percentage terms, please tell me...
Out of all the marriages between British nationals and Pakistani`s..

How many marriages ended up with the couple staying in Pakistan?
50% ?... I don`t think so!
Less than 1% ?... Yep!

Once the 99% are in UK, they get shocked when they find that life here is only good if you work very hard for it. Most of them end up working in shops, restaurants or drive taxi`s. (Bottom of the ladder jobs).
They hardly have any friends, because most of the population speaks in english.
The ones that they can communicate with, are too busy to do so, and have nothing in common with them.
As if that wasn`t bad enough, they have the extra huge burden of saving money, to send it to their poor relatives in Pakistan.
And building a new Bangla in Pakistan is compulsary, even if there is no one to live in it.
Spending £50,000+ and then renting it out to someone at £5 a week, isn`t very logical...
but it allows them to look at their poorer relatives and shout...
``Hey! Look at me now!``

Then there is the costly, all family, 3 yearly, visits to pakistan.

What I`m saying isn`t just clutched from air. I`ve met MANY `mangaithir party, wallas`.
Most of them seem to huff and puff with regret.

``My time in Pakistan, lounging about, each and every day, were the best. sigh``
``My wife and I contantly fight over me sending money to my parents``
``Only 3 months to go, before I get full residence. Then I can leave her``.
``Errr... Yaar ... How do you get a gori? Can you spare me a gori, as well?``

I could go on; But you`ll get bored. ;p

@ TaheraSajid,

I`m sure there will be many other heart warming stories, which go against the odds.
With you saying it`s a true story, it has won me over. We need more.
Please write more. I would do it if I had the ability.

Best Regards.

Re: # 29


Please...why should anyone have to justify their critique of treacle to someone who can`t even spell ``sceptisism`` (sic)``?

Re: # 33

Dear neembu,

I was actually glad of his comment, because it gave me an opportunity to expand.

I just find it incredible and horrific that some parents (usually the father), do not have any love for their children.
How else can you explain some of the `arranged` marriages and `honour killings?

How can a father, do this???????:-

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6722699.stm

I hope the bastards get deported from UK, after they come out of prison.

what mr. chauhan is saying is he is another drinker from the furry cup.