A Karachi Summer

ok, so what was THE POINT?

the great editors of chowk never published anything i wrote, and i write with great coherence, but this early morning olpers and langanese ad gets published. Shit!!!!

great buddy.
ur article is close to reality...i liked it alot keep it up

Re: # 18
Thank you. I am working on the piece for ALR

Re: # 12
Never meant it that way.

Re: # 17
You`re absoultely right about the part were the article meanders from the topic. I agree it was uneditted. It was just written and sent.

Well done, Anum!
Waiting for your submission to ALR...

Anum, the fact that you are a talented writer and have great potential was indeed evident in your piece. But you really could have done with some editing. The article seemed to meander at times, which broke the reader`s focus on your thoughts. Your attention to minor details is truly commendable, but there were also few cliches which could have been avoided. All in all, you`ve undoubtedly shown great promise as a writer, and I look forward to reading more of your articles in future. So, Best of Luck!
Regards.

Amateur not armature...though with a story like this, that would not be inappropriate...heheheheh

``It is 6:36am; Karachi morning, and being a regular Fajar prayer person; which is to be said before the break of dawn, I am up so early unlike several Karachiites.``

Karachi summer: 6:36am is almost midday.
The whole thing is so phony. I cant read this any further....

There is a tendency among some armatures to add misery meter to the stories. This story is one good example of that. Fake, phony and non sense written all over it....

``You just wish to listen to the pacifying tone of such voices to combat the Karachi summers.``

How do you combat summers by listening to pacifying tones? Some cheering up would help. Pacifying tones add to the misery.

Anum, I find your style very original, the imagery masterful and honesty endearing.

If a novice like myself may offer a piece of advice...

Writing is an art form. It needs to be nurtured with tender loving care and polished with practice. Learning is a lifelong process.

Take reader feedback seriously, but don`t take it to heart. Gather the gems thrown your way - some kind and some harsh; some insightful and some superficial - but follow your own heart. Ultimately you are the best judge of your work. It is your creation. Own it. Be proud.

Hope to read more from you. :)

Re: # 11

http://www.chowk.com/show_interactor_page.cgi?membername=neembu

Since the author has taken exception to criticism, I must revise my initial opinion which was unrealistic and harsh.Having read the piece a couple of times,it`s hidden meanings and social statements unravel in a Kafkaesque mould. I further confirm that this is one of the finest pieces ever seen on Chowk. We have a winner among us, the new Booker prize winner from Pakistan- Anum Ali.

a good piece from a talented writer. yes at times the lack of life experience seems evident but why should that stop anyone from writing? how else will she gain that experience? i find the honesty with which anum examines the alienation she feels from most of her peers a plus point, here she is unwittingly (or otherwise) putting the craft to its primary use which imho is to ``explain herself to herself``.

i wish you luck anum :) welcome to chowk, and keep writing.

``The very first rule anyone who thinks she/he is a writer follows if indeed she/he is truly a writer is the ability to see his/her work with detachment.`` followed by a para suggesting feedback is a `gift` and the REAL writer will be able to see whether its legitimate or the bastard child of bottomfeeders.

i find this patronizing. how on earth did writers survive, thrive and develop before editors or `creative writing proffesors`? were there no real writers? what is a real writer? what is a fake writer? who decides?

Re: # 8

Writer,

The very first rule anyone who thinks she/he is a writer follows if indeed she/he is truly a writer is the ability to see his/her work with detachment. This means that she/he is willing to listen to feedback re: the devices and mechanics of her/his work and actually check to see if that feedback is legitimate. When you write, ``I meant the piece to sound like that`` , that is a cop out, the non acknowledgement that work can be legitimately use some revision. This is a deadly mistake of ego and insecurity. There are people on these threads who will write only nice things-and while that is nice and encouraging, the people you need to really pay attention to are the ones who ask questions or point out issues within the text that need some cleaning up. These people have taken the time to look at your work, try to understand it within its components and its organic whole. Consider it a gift and try not to be ungrateful it-they have expended time and effort responding. Your responsibility, if you are seriously interested in improving your writing is to apply these criticisms and see if they are relevant- using your text as evidence. I don`t think that you are doing that here and so I`ll refrain from commenting in the future.

Good luck!

Re: # 6

Anum-

Ah...well if it was meant to have an elitist satirical bend to it, that brings a different message. But frankly, I did look for that satire, and did not find it.

As I said, the prose holds promise. And if the satire could have been a bit more focused, it would be a good piece.

Keep on writing.

-thinking

Re: # 1
Good to know this was an engaging read. It was meant to drag and have the dreamy feel to it. Glancing out from my window locked within my world, it was meant to be like that. Thanks.