The Horse and The Zebra

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A beautuful piece of work. What i liked most about the article is that pieces of it some how related to me and my friends. Everyone i presume and especially me have gone or are going through the emotional turmoil that was experienced in this artcile. Only fate will determine whether we end up being Zebras or the Horses.

Dear Rafi:

Great read. Fairly long story but it sure keeps the reader interested to the end, which happens to be the climax also and ties the opening with the end.

Writing in first person narrative is one of the trusted but difficult techniques for in story-telling, if somebody knows how to weave the fabric of story in a non-linear fashion like life (Who said life was linear, anyways!). Of course, you have managed this style well without allowing `self-centeredness` of first person that can plague story-tellers. .... Congratulations.

Superb. I almost had an unfaithful affair with this long short story.. I was expecting for an ending where Shazi comes out of the closet to expresses his attraction to Rafi.

Very nice piece of work Rafi Aamer.

Re: # 44

ana, while I agree with your contention that chowk is a good platform for subcontinental folks to express our ideas, nevertheless it also could serve another useful purpose- viz separate the genuinely talented from the rest of us wannabe `writers`.

I have not read Rafi`s other pieces on chowk but this story leads me to believe that if he wanted to make it as a ``real`` writer (as opposed to a chowkie, with no disrespect meant, since I belong to that category myself!), there may be other avenues open to him :)

burpinder #29

Could you please explain to writers who write literary pieces (or even the political ones) why writing for Chowk is a waste of time? Yeah we have the gaali galoch and the supercilliousness and all, but still this is a platform available for all of us to express our ideas, no?

If they are wasting their time here on Chowk then why are we wasting our time here as well?

Folks,

Thank you! Thank you very much indeed for your praise, criticism, suggestions and feedback. Its extremely gratifying to know that you liked my effort.

Regards,

Rafi Aamer

Rafi-

A brilliant story.

I love the bookending of the story with the horses and zebra comparison.

Most importantly though, underneath the complexity of relationships, I really loved the insights you offered on ``the betrayals``. How we are eager to please and not dissapoint. How we cage ourselves and rid ourselves of individuality and its freedom. When the protaganist agrees with his wife that yes Shazi is indeed crazy, he is infact turning against his own friend to please his wife. And furthermore, perhaps, he is turning against his own desires, his own beliefs, to conform, and to not dissapoint.

Very well written. It also indicates deep thought and self-analysis. Knowing yourself.

-thinking

#38 by amansandhu

Echo,
Since Shazi`s parents brought him into this world they have to feed him,no.

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Of course, and they did...until he started showing his stripes and hind-kicking his parents.
That was the time to kick him out. His Parents are no less at fault...a typical scenario where the colonized ones are cockproud that they too have stars & spangles erupted on their bums.

Nice storyline and build up of characters. I agree with Raw-Dusts comparison of it with that of Raja Gidh and other works of Mufti, Bano, and Ashfaque. Some verbosity and redundancy could have been avoided but over all it belongs to the top category in Chowk short story line up.

By the way, I consider Raja Gidh the best damn novel written in any langauge ever.

A very imressive story indeed. I felt like being there all the time. It left me wondering though, what could had happened differently to make things better for Shazi? May be his family could be more accomodative or Shazi himself could be more proactice to drive his own destiny in addition to being intellectual and different than rest of the herd.
What can be a positive `take-away` or lesson learned? How can we help if any of us comes across anyone with similar situation?

Rafi, I really liked this story, kept me hooked till the end. You have a great narative style. I had stopped reading articles on FP and am glad that I read this one.
Parents dont realise the imensense damage they bestow upon children by constant comparisons. Shazi`s parents failed their child badly, they never made and effort to understand him. His contempt for Rafi is understandable.

Echo,
Since Shazi`s parents brought him into this world they have to feed him,no.

35 by Cigar on July 13, 2007 7:33am PT
I also have seen few donkeys pretending to be zebra, or may be I am one of those judgmental people.

You will find many of them on Chowk too

35 by Cigar on July 13, 2007 7:33am PT
I also have seen few donkeys pretending to be zebra, or may be I am one of those judgmental people.

You will find many of them on Chowk too

I didnt find it long at all, in other words I found it really interesting. i could relate this story to a few people i know. I also have seen few donkeys pretending to be zebra, or may be I am one of those judgmental people.

a refreshing piece. liked this alot.