This Is For The Men Who'll Roll Their Eyes

Why can't the contribution of stay-home be measured by the cost of outsourcing of necessary services, with the attendant advantage of continuous quality control through limited-time contracts, regular updating (and increased flexibility) of range and level of serivice-related skills thorough competitive profesionalism, and social benefits of democratization of access to economic opportunities within the household?

Re: # 38

dawa-i-dill

Excuse me. You seem to have gone wild like Hafsa girls. You forget that the gender relationship and for that matter, the institution of marriage, is purely a cultural function which has nothing to do with religion. As you may be knowing, the Prophet of Islam was nursed in 'baadiah' by Mai Haleemah (?), a baddu woman. The Prophet and all his good companions (Khulfaa-e-Raashidah) were born, probably, of the wed locks which were contracted before advent of Islam under the prevalent Arab culture. Your wishful thinking would not change the culture. So please do not get wild and fill up all the 'chowk' with your 'dawa' with its over dozing.

Btw, what are, in your view, the duties' if any, of the wife prescribed in Shariah when the husband is bound to provide maintenance to her even when she is rebellious (Nashoos, in Koranic terms)?

No offence intended. In fact I appreciate some of your posts on the subject, especially the one at #24.

Regards

Re: # 85
In my opinion, dost-mittar, because the homemaker has assisted in keeping a higher-income unit functioning, if that makes sense?
I will say that I do not agree with the "choice" to stay at home full-time, even though I know it sounds harsh. We cannot give ourselves choices men do not have beyond biology. I fully support the idea of staying home to have a child, but if women expect that they will get the same economic leverage and the same power by staying home for years on end, they are wrong. I do not agree with post-feminist theory because I believe too much remains to be done, the feminist battles are far from over.

Re: # 76
dawa is a girl....what's the vaseline for anyway?

Re: # 31

Dawa-i-dil

"in islam men and women are not equal..women are at top !!!!)....."

Which Islam and which 'top'?

neembu#84:

The economist in me has always been somewhat uncomfortable with the concept of marriage being a partnership of equals. Take the case of two couples, in one the earning spouse is making $200K a year and in the other the earning spouse makes only $20,000. The homemaker in the two families does the same work; indeed the one in the lower income family perhaps sweats a lot more, has access to no household help and indeed does not even have all the gadgets available to the higher income homemaker. So, at the time of marriage break-up, why should the value of the homemaker of the higher income household be valued more than that of the lower-income household? [you may have noted that I have used gender-neutral terminology because in the contemporary world, a woman is quite likely to earn more and men are sometimes known to be home-makers]

clifton,

labor in the home is the responsibility of both partners regardless of whether one or both works outside the home. the partner who is paid outside the home for her/his labor benefits from her/his labor being made visible. The person who labors in the home and keeps the home unit running, viable and prepares the outside worker spouse is not paid- he/she receives an "allowance" or budget to maintain the house and is in essence cheaply "subcontracted" by the outside worker spouse. If both spouses are united in a social and economic contract, both spouses are obliged to maintain a reasonable committment to that agreement.

Vanguard writes "I told my mum, this is exactly the kind of girl I want to marry"

Of course you do, you have an over 50% chance that in a year you'll again be a free man, enjoying single life while your wife, who would have suffered an over 10% drop in income would be living in near-poverty....ideal situaion for the corporation to use you both as consumers and workers...sloganeering is no good when bigger demons are being fought...

#80 SaimaShah writes "If the purpose of life is to procreate and raise children, then women should indeed act like idiots without minds and men like bidders in a market for slaves."

And if the "purpose" of life is to work for and enrich a corporation which has created conditions that leave little choice both economically and status wise, then both men and women are forced by circumstance to act like "idiots without minds", and slaves that are available to the highest "bidder" in the market.

It is the corporation that has devalued family life and equated status with working for the corporation, rather than taking care of your own affairs at home- it frees extra labor for them to exploit and enslave, while outsourcing all "family duties" to other "low status" agents that maintains this status structure.

The family and its work thus is equate with being a low level idiot, while outside corporate work is equated with being "independent"- that fact is that the "real" status of both men and women, as well as the independent "intellect" of both men and women was devalued when work got seperated from the home.

mohar i have no issues with educated women choosing to stay at home. However I dont believe in anyone having their cake and eating it too. Earning is hard, if you want the man to do all of it then dont expect him to also make chai and change the nappies.

Dear Sidra

Well said. Men are as manipulated by gender stereotyping as are women, I'd like to say the following:
1. As long as people believe in ancient books that prescribe different rules for women literally, women's bodies will not belong solely to them.
2. After watching quite a few of my male friends marry women who they and their families thought would be submissive, less intelligent and more giving but had to watch their consequent suffering afterwards--I have become pretty cynical. I think desi men are brought up with very odd ideas about women and marriage which are exposed only after they marry and realise that that the independent and intelligent woman that they were afraid of would have actually suited them better. At that time they say what the heck, its not as though I wanted to do something really special in my life anyway.

3. If the purpose of life is to procreate and raise children, then women should indeed act like idiots without minds and men like bidders in a market for slaves.

clift
[...will stop being abused when they are economically independant...]

true... even though in paki/islamic society it will take a long time...

But elsewhere feminist revolution has been a success - particularly in US - to the point that the trend now is the other way - highly educated women are now choosing to be stay-at-home rather than go out and save the world...

There was an article in NYtimes a while back where they polled female students in top colleges across US where a surprisingly large % of students wanted/had-no-problem with staying home after getting such high education... that, it was pointed out, would be unthinkable 20 years back...

Getting best of both worlds...

*carrying guns *

The world is full of accomplished successful brave women who have to face real hardship , (not the b.s friends think my hubby is a weany what should i do kind of stuff). I think you have a lot to learn

1. Successful people men and women all get called names by jealous losers ....successful people just dont care.
2. Estimating your worth by crying over how some stone age man wants a stone age woman is hugely ridiciulous
3. If your friends are such frikkin losers make other friends
4. No one gets anywhere by crying and begging ...women will stop being abused when they are economically independant , - or when they start carrying uns
5. Dont cry about man visiting prostitutes...its not exactly a unpunished offence , between STD's and hell i think fornicating men get all the justice they deserve.

DawaiDil: Be prepared to shell out big bucks at heera mandi if you want to get laid...or buy plenty of vaseline handy.

[...I am waiting for the day when ALL women will realize that there is more to being a woman than seeking the acceptance by EVERYBODY ...]

Me too... I am tired of "honey, do I look fat?" questions... :)

But be careful what you wish for... you don't wanna to turn women into men... or vice versa...