Mushy is Done!

Boom boom chacha......Hamid Masih has always had a shitty life..he blames muslims for treating his bhangi father badly in raja bazar..n he's prolly right..bhangis r human beings too..they shouldnt be demonized for thier profession or their religion..but a whole religion especially the prophet can not be hold responsible for the way Hamid Masih was slapped around in his neighbourhood..i understand but if he don't put him in his place than he gets encouraged n that false sense of achievement is bad fo his therapy in real life..soo hamid masih know that i m mean 2 u for ur own good.

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atif mian,

..... you always manage to bring a smile to my face :) .....you have a wonderful way with words ...... love your ilogs - keep them coming .......

As I have written earlier.

Romair writes the most humorous stuff on CHOWK. Hamid2 has rancour & bitterness in him...a no no for a GOOD humourist.

"chowk staff: please ban masadi and romair from chowk - they irritate me and give me gas .......... "

oysters probably resent making pearls too...chowk staff had better not mess with a winning formula :) Hamid sahab you are the most entertaining thing ever, but what would you do for inspiration if chowk staff in a fit of self destruction did actually ban your muse?

hamidm sahib,

As a long time resident of E-7, I take exception to you portraying us as a filthy rich bunch who are detached from the poor people. We are in fact far more in touch with poor people than you give us credit for - each household in E-7 has on average three servants. Besides, there is more to us than just loads of money, we have real life issues too. Consider this:

One of the biggest issues that inhabitants of E-7 face is the shortage of servants. Growing up, I regularly heard of horror stories where, for example, a 10,000 rupees/month cook quit or moved to a different household, leaving his previous household in shambles and relegated to cooking their own food. Aunties in the neighborhood regularly exchange heart wrenching stories about "kaam chore noker". I still vividly recall the day when tragedy struck the house across from us - their driver had left for another better paying job just before the school year was to start! ~shudders~

On another issue, we had to fight tooth and nail with the CDA to ensure that no form of public transportation was allowed inside E-7 - except for the taxis. Apparently, a bus company realized that given the large number of servants and security personnel working in E-7, there was money to be made by starting a bus route inside E-7. Just the mere thought of diesel burning buses with shalwar kameez wearing servants hanging from doors was too offensive for the aesthetic sensibilities of residents. Alhamdolillah, we were successful, and now anyone who does not own the car has to walk all the way from Faisal Chowk to work in E-7.

To address the issue of security, the residents of E-7 hired an international consulting firm to form a strategy. The strategy advised residents that the best way to ensure complete security of E-7 was to rent at least one house per street to a federal minister. The federal minister inevitably comes with his army of guards, which helps ensure that not even a bird can steal anything from our gardens without coming in the notice of guards. Just to ensure there were no loopholes, we also went ahead and hired private guards who would sit all day in a wooden booth in front of our driveways. In fact, enough security personnel work in E-7 that we virtually have a security force the size of a small country!

Yes, our pride took a hit a few years ago when our most famous resident, Dr. AQ Khan was implicated in a nuclear armament smuggling ring. However, since then even more prominent international players have moved in. In fact, despite it being the smallest sector, E-7 has had a disproportionately large impact on the modern history, economics, and politics of Pakistan...with General Zia and Benazir its one time residents.

All this proud history and margalla hills high heaps of money has led to a unique elitist culture in E-7, whereby we dont even admit to having friends in other sectors...to say nothing about Pindi. In fact, we have unique enough culture that some extremists elements in E-7 are pushing for sovereignty. Imagine that!

Re: # 28

romair mian,

"my bet has always been on lawyers and media.....and it turns out i was correct" ......... you are a bigger horse's patoot than masadi! ..... when and where did you make this bet, and how come nobody heard of it ?!.......

.... i can clearly remember you putting your money on musharraf and how he was the best thing since mo came out of his cave in meccca ....... then you went and on and on about imran khan and how he was going to be the next mahdi ..... i even remember your silly little tales about your family connections and your little inside stories about his tehreek ..... you live in a little fantasy world where you can tell the future after it has already happened !

........as arjun would say: give it up and go back to selling your "i love pakistan" t-shirts in new york .......... what a maroon !

chowk staff: please ban masadi and romair from chowk - they irritate me and give me gas ..........

a year ago, i disappeared from chowk and spent six months in pakistan, without pay.....basically meeting various people....and helping a friend write a book....

....after that visit, my calculation was that pakistan had had it....it was through....

...perhaps my analysis was off.....a big perhaps....there does seem to be some evolution.......there have been two occassions when pakistanis have come out in full force, in the past ten years.....

....the first was after the earthquake.....the respone was almost unprecedented, internationally........the second was to restore the chief justice.....this was, literally, unprecedented internationally.......

....i have never heard of a cj being reinstalled through a people's movement (perhaps because they never get kicked out like this).......but the people did come out, when the need arose.....

.......i have always felt if any progress is made in pakistan, it will not be from four areas: feudals, maulvis, weternised secularits and army........it has to be some other force.....

.....my bet has always been on lawyers and media.....and it turns out i was correct.......maybe the judiciary will revive pakistan, with the help of media.....

on a more positive note: there is big money to be made in pakistan in banking and telecom........more money than in usa.....

masadi,

......... please call feroze and get a real job ...... and please don't tell me that i cannot hold an 'intellectual' discussion with you ......... who can, with a hemmaroidal and paranoid nutcase like you ?

Re: # 23

masadi,

you idiot ! ......"4 bedroom mansions with lush gardens are going for Rs 30K a month" ..........i am not talking about lalamusa or mandi bahauddin ........

............ find me one in islamabad and i will pay you a finder's fee of 50K! ..... any half-way decent 4-bed house on a 12 marla plot in a rundown sector like G8 will run you at least 45K ....... anything on a kanal (600 yd) plot in f/10 will cost you at least twice that ......any house in f/8 or e/7 on a two kanal lot will run you at least 2-3 lakh a month (about US $4000) - my 3 kanal house in the us costs me half that much ! ......

.....almost everyone that i know has split the house in two to rent out the upper 'portion' - most cannot afford the luxury of a full house (or a wet verandah) ...... gul zaman is one of the lucky ones

Hamid writes "......... but i will concede you a point - the 'system' in pakistan is stacked against poor gul zaman ........ "

Complete the thought, the 'system' in Pakistan wasn't invented by the people of Pakistan, it was imposed by the colonials and their thugs (about one of whom we know very well), further it was strengthened by those that "inherited" global hegemony, using their occupation force that ensured that our institutions just like our people stayed beneath their feet. The one man who tried to go against that trend, and succeeded in mainstreaming social justice and the voice of the people was butchered in the most brutal fashion with the blessings of the US elite. Further the same pattern of wealth and poverty on a social level is seen in the US where even a greater amount of pattern study than the above has concluded class-intergenerational permanence. Develop some real morals, it is a good start, let us talk about the Gul Zamans of the world...

Re: # 21

masadi mian,

........ my "sprinkler guy" story only applies to america where anyone can make it as long as they work hard (with the exception of a few sociologists, drug addicts and whinos) .....

.... actually, i do have some sprinkler guy type stories from pakistan as well ... why, just two saturdays ago i attended a wedding at the pindi pearl continental where the groom's father was a retired havaldar who made a small fortune scavenging and selling car parts at sultan's khoo (well).......the groom just finished his phd in engineering from england and is getting a package worth almost 3.5 lakh rupees from the hec to teach real stuff at a real university in pakistan (eat your heart out!) .......

......... but i will concede you a point - the 'system' in pakistan is stacked against poor gul zaman ........

Hamid writes "50,000 rupees a month and a two bedroom apartment in the diplomatic enclave is advertised at US $1800 a month with a year's rent in advance ........ and i am still suffering from whiplash after reading that a 'real' house with an 'american kitchen' in E/7 is going for 400,000 rupees a month ! .......... "

That "real" house would be on the scale of half a block in the US, those are "green zone" prices, that foreign contractors, mercinaries and agents, and those setting up safe-houses while claiming to work as school teachers gladly pay for and charge the Pakistani government or take out of the bribes they are giving them. Such is not the case in most of the country where cost of living is much lower than the US and the comparative standard much higher , and peanuts for people with incomes like you who fleece corporations based on lies. I pay under $200 a month for a one bedroom studio with a private kitchen and one car garage walk-in in one of the best areas in town, even after including utilities, something that would easily have cost $650 or so in the US and that also in a community and not an independant setting. 4 bedroom mansions with lush gardens are going for Rs 30K a month, i.e. less than what a one bedroom miserable apartment would cost in a not so large city of the US in a not so decent neighbourhood.....don't exaggerate...

In #21 read "Wont you give his the nice tales about India IT "

as

"Wont you give him the nice tales about India IT

Hamid mian, very touching story about Gul Zaman, in fact as discription goes, as storytelling goes, you do a masterful job (excuse me while I puke saying this, but it is true). Now please explain to Gul Zaman like you do to us here that it is his own bloody stupidity that keeps him down. Please tell him that you "sprinkler guy" can send his kids to harvard if he only works a few extra hours, so Gul Zaman should atleast be able to send them to Dr. Pervez Hoodbuoy for some Anti-Fazloo training? Wont you give his the nice tales about India IT miracles and the Pakistani "big shots" who turn a quick buck by selling their souls and the lives of the people to TNCs? Please shake him up a little instead of giving us these crocodile tears.

Were you not the one for no "public interference" in these matters of poverty and wealth, and were you not the one crying foul when I said that the political economy of the power state is rigged against the "Gul Zamans"? Or is it that you are developing some morals (let me puke while I say this, but it might be true), and are coming to recognize the true picture that exists in the global order of things.....Let us hope that you are or no amount of "Crisp Rs 5000 bills" will ever be able to save you. By the way, I might be in Islamabad by the middle of this month....would love to chat with Gul Zaman....on you, I'll pass...

GT,

.... it takes about a week in pakistan to figure out that gul zaman and the vast majority of the people are fucked and will be left bending over and holding their ankles regardless of who comes to power ....

.........actually, gul zaman is lucky to have a roof over his head even though he gets a little wet when the rain blows into his verandah .... looking at the 'accomodation available' ads in the local paper it is clear that at least i cannot afford to rent a house in islamabad where an 'upper portion' in a not-so-nice neighborhood like G/11 costs 50,000 rupees a month and a two bedroom apartment in the diplomatic enclave is advertised at US $1800 a month with a year's rent in advance ........ and i am still suffering from whiplash after reading that a 'real' house with an 'american kitchen' in E/7 is going for 400,000 rupees a month ! .......... mrs hamidm and i have decided that we cannot afford to live in pakistan on an american income and are doomed to live with white people and urstruly for the rest of our lives!

..... anyway, after coming back from lunch with imran khan at the serena, which cost me 2900 plus a 300 tip (which, according to my lunch mate was entirely too much and can result in disturbing the delicate social order), i decided to give gul zaman two crisp new 5000 rupee notes so that he could also take his family for lunch at the serena ......... he was a little suspicious of the whole thing and i can understand why - he had never seen a 5000 rupee note before since he only makes about 3000 a month (plus roti, a new shalwar kameez on eid and the use of the verandah)........ anyway, the thought of handling so much money scared the poor man and he promptly handed it over to his mistress for safe keeping until he goes back to his village near kohat .....

........ actually, i didn't really have lunch 'with' imran khan - he was sitting two tables over with some political types in crisp white shalwar kameezes and neatly coiffured hair (his hair looked the best) ...... at another table sat another group of political types - portly mullahs with wild beards and elaborate head-dresses who kept on eyeing the scandinavian looking blond at the next table as they licked their fingers and made disgusting noises like the animal who cannot be mentioned ....... imran khan walked over and sat down to talk to the blond who smiled ever so sweetly ....... it might be my imagination, but i can swear that he looked over at the mullahs and gave them the middle finger !......... the mullahs got up in disgust to wreak the wrath of god on the buffet ! ....... and even though i think imran khan is an idiot, the man earned my respect with the way he had the blond fawning all over him - her knees were like jello!

......... anyway, somewhere in the middle of my 300 rupee cup of espresso, i thought of gul zaman who makes me a cup of tea every morning .........he should really have lunch at the serana since he loves both cricket and maulana fazloo ......