Sex Education For the Next Generation

Posted here because the UP Quota was full. To be reposted on UP. But it is relevant, so Dr. Khalid Sohail and his 'consenting adults' may read it too:

Memorable quotes from Cliftonbridge:

"If we are not to pass judgement or reign in our sexual desires there would be no such thing as emotional commitment or loving relationships."

So true. The emotional commitment and loving relationships arise out of a man discovering his woman's body, and the woman discovering a man's. without any prior thoughts or comparisons with others. That is the basis of a lifelong commitment to sexual pleasure and fidelity with a 'zindagi ka saathi', leaving no room for expectations of torrid sexual performance like in cars' backseats, or carnal comparisons with those who went before. That ensures fidelity and puts an end to sexual experimentation which breeds unending dissatisfaction and leads to experimentation with being tied up and S&M and anal adventures ... none works. There's no sex like with the only one you've ever physically known and love ... the only one ... and whose body you find familiar, being the only one having discovered it, and trust like your own.

...the truth is that most women are driven by seeking intimacy not the rough and tumble.

Intimacy is the crux of it all, and the source of sexual pleasure. There can be no 'ecstasy' without intimacy. Lust and orgasms yes, but no loving ecstasy. In the former, you turn over to the other side and think about the neighbour's wife. Would she be better? But not where there's intimacy. Neighbour's wife would perhaps be a great fcuk but never the intimate as the woman who never knew any man's body other than yours, nor did you know any other than hers. All those mounds and curves and mysterious folds ... such discoveries would then be for you and hers alone ..... till death do us part.

... and you can either have intimacy or variety. Which is why most people chose to forgo a life of wild disinhibition even though thats the "natural" way to live.

Exactly true ... ditto as analyzed above ...

Thing about islam is that you dont need to be "elevated" above a momin status. A good momin is a good enough attribute ..

No more can be said than this. The submission of a true Muslim and a 'Momina'.

Thanks cliftonbridge. Your words are sincere, courageous, straightforward words.

#100 Posted by Naqshbandi

Naqshbandi, I have nothing against paying respects at eminent 'bazurgs' last abode, but I'm firmly against begging at their graves for 'dili murad puri ho jaye gi'. This is 'sh'irk'. Islam teaches to only ask Allah for anything you wish, not ANYONE else including the Prophet or his venerable Companions.

Notably, despite the Ahle-Tasheeh's utter devotion to Ali and Hussain (as indeed all Muslims but theirs even more so), they neither beg Ali nor Hussain for male off-spring or success in love and business. The peeri/mureedi people do to even the lesser 'bazurg's' like Ali Hajveri in throngs. All Ahl-e-Tasheeh do is say Ya Ali Madad in times of distress or confrontation. Nothing wrong with that. We say Ya Rasool-Allah too. It doesn't mean susbstituting Allah's benevolance for another. Begging 'Pirs' does exactly this.

In short. Ask only Allah, and no one else!

Re: # 8

clifton

"Sex is supposed to be enjoyable by Muslim thought and both men and women have a right to expect a good time from each other....you just have to be married first :)"

What about sex with slaves which is also allowed in Islam though the Mullah, who are themselves homosexuals, have practically banned it? Marriage is in fact more a hurdle in sex satisfaction, especially when it is of a monogamous type in a closed society like that of Muslims'. It is perhaps why the Muslims are the most sexually starved nation.

Morality is doing what is right, regardless what we are told.
Religious dogma is doing what we are told, no matter what is right."

Dr Sohail,

Have you read "The Perfumed Garden" by Muhammad ibn Muhammad al-Nafzawi ?

The myths about masturbation are a huge issue for young adults in Pakistan. I am one. I know.
I have also observed how such unfelt and unintelligible moralistic notions as imposed by the society on us, affect us even today.
There is a natural attraction between male and female. Sometimes between the same sexes even. Its natural. There are lesbian seagulls, there are hyenas and other creatures that are 'gay'. It is nature. It is not unclean, its just sex.
Religion may be there to improve our society, but it is an overbearing philosophy, an oppressive one to those who are not naturally inclined towards its moralistic indoctrinations. Some people are not muslims, or christians or whatever by NATURE, that is it is not in their nature to be bound to such taboos as imposed on us in Pakistan. One has sexual urges, one NEEDS to act on them as long as the harm principal is not transgressed. Masturbation is NOT,and this is scientifically proven, harmful. Its a pressure release for those who, in blunt terms, can't get any. Its there, its naturally extant, for their sexual and mental health. Our schools are filled with the frustrated, the artificially hyper-masculine, the over competitive, the shy. These are extremities of emotion developed by suppression of urges, given to us by your God, if you believe in God. He made us this way. Why would He give us a gift and forbid us from using it.
And for guys, its not even that big of a problem. Those who want to do something, do it. For women in Pakistan its worse still. How can a society be allowed to get away with calling sex unclean unless its to make babies. How can someone's biological needs be allowed to be sacrificed in the name of arcane traditions. We as humans evolve into more knowledgible beings. Societies evolve, our needs and rights are different now. Thank you for breaching this touchy issue Dr. saab.

Quoting Faiz:

Jin ka deen pairavi-e-kizb-o-rayaa hai unko,
Himmat-e-kufr miley, jurrat-e-tehkik miley,
Jin ke sar muntazir-e-tegh-e-jafaa hain unko,
Dast-e-qatil ko jhatak deney ki taufeeq miley

Re: # 133

I welcome your journey to an humanist, something I made about 20 years ago. Although from a different, but very ritualistic starting point.

One can truly view Einstein's relativity to evolution of thoughts, a non-physical matter. Although the thought can be viewed as a form energy that minds generate.

Write to me at anilkapuria@yhaoo.com

Anil

#138 Boomer

[Full DISCLOSURE is the key in any profession specially in a licenced profession...and supremely so in a profession where minds could be bent.]

Good Lord, do those mullahs - the most egregious of mind-benders - practice full disclosure? (You mean they open those pajamas high?)

#133:
The purpose is to shame you into accepting that you are an EX-muslim ( aka MURTID)...even now you rae using mumbo jumbo language & calling yourself a secular humanist & still not admitting that you are an EX-muslim ( aka Murtid).

Full DISCLOSURE is the key in any profession specially in a licenced profession...and supremely so in a profession where minds could be bent.

That is why I call you Pheeda tyhe Fareed who became Dr. Fraadia..the one who abuses his licence to & provides anti-Islam ideas to muslims.

Is it OK to prosletyze secular-humanism ( aka Murtid) solutions to muslims under the guise of a licenced pro?
Would it be OK for a Muslim ( or an eastern value holder for that matter) professional to suggest to a prostitute & a pimp frustrated/depressed that the scriptures DO suggest a way out of such a miserable existence?

Don't be deluded...you are an instant gratification seeker..rushdie/Hyan Hirsi Ali type...and muslims are quite competent now to ignore you. The internet is full of anti-Islam material & now muslims know that more & more are embracing Islam than leaving.

This rubicon has already been crossed.

Nothing would please me but to drive you nuts & see you languishing in an asylum upon the recommendation of one of your own secularooned Psychilist.

P.S:ALL
www.drsohai.com...is his site...Feel comfortable. do read his intro..that will tell you that he does write good humour.
He is under an utter delusion..like the villager enamoured by city lights & dazzled by them the guy has gone crazy
by the West. Such trauma does occur in the minds of those with very backward lakeer-kay-faqueer backgrounds suddenly thrust into modernity. From bullock cart direct to a jet.
They cannot hold their "liquor"

Dr. Sohail, based on a rather long stay in the USA and having talked with many on such issues, I am of the opinion that Americans and those who have immersed themselves in American culture are much more upfront in sharing their intimate feelings (including sexual feelings) and have generally less hang-ups regarding being upfront with their feelings. Desis, by and large, are much more constipated with those same feelings – and have a tough time communicating clearly and directly. Somebody told me that my theory was all wet. What says thou?

HP Saab, when your teenage boy starts putting a pillow in his lap while watching TV, send him to a Mullah.

Your failure to differentiate between the sex education and the proper family planning education makes me think that this perhaps is not the area for you to dabble in.

So what is that you were trying to promote in Pakistan sex education or the Family Planning. Did it ever occur to you that your experience in Peshawar meant that people needed more education about the family planning or you thought they needed the sex education to ensure that a few minutes of pleasure does not turn into a liability for life?

“While I worked in the obstetric department in a Women’s Hospital in Peshawar Pakistan I was shocked to find out that many men and women had no understanding of human physiology and did not know that ovulation took place 14 days before menstruation and that the human sperm and ovum live for only 24—48 hours and if they did not make love during those 48--96 hours they would not get pregnant. I met many infertile women who went to holy shrines to pray for children rather than obtaining medical help for their problems.”

You worked in a hospital in Peshawar and you were shocked to learn that? What were you thinking when you went to Peshawar…were you thinking it to be the bastion of western civilization?
Even in the west, you will have a 30 to 40 % having no clue about this.

I understand that your area of interest for sex education is the east or the subcontinent in particular. Yeah, you want to provide sex education to those guys who still have separate boys and girls school. You wanna teach sex to a society where houses are divided in Mardana and Zanana. I am glad that you live in the backyard of the US and think you know a little about the western civilization but really you don’t. With your limited knowledge of the experimental ideas of the west, you wanna duplicate that in a society which has an entirely different structure.

Do you even have an idea why sex education became part of the western school curriculum? The purpose was not to impart knowledge about the menstrual cycle.

Let me see, can you even guess a list of the reasons sex education in the west is so important? And then try and relate them to the subcontinent culture.

Re: # 128
dear echoboom....are you trying to give free advertisement that i am a secular humanist...who believes in freedom of religion and freedom from religion....and written a book
from islam to secular humanism...a philosophical journey...have you read it yet?...you might be surprised if you read it...why do you get so excited when you see my name and my article even when it is not about god and religion?...smiles...sohail

Re: # 130
you are right when monogamy becomes monotony...
a philosophgert said...chains of marriage are so heavy it takes two to carry them..sometimes three....smiles...sohail

hmmm..tahmed sahib how do u know that miss scout is not one of my wives? ;-)

to miss scout: confucius say if man want woman make honey from her flower he practise wushu of tongue on her holiest of holies. it also help if he good with many languages if he want be good cunning linguist.

statistics actually show that women are 30% more likely to have an orgasm with cunnilingus than penetration alone.

but i think it is taboo in pakistani culture....

on a more serious note--and i'm sure Sohail Sahib al-Murtad (thanks echo) will be able to confirm in his capacity as a sex counsellor-- that the moment a marriage begins to falter is when the passion goes out of the sexual relationship between Man and Wive.