Young and Old

Dear Lokhi Menon,
We are with you in your grief; May GOD rest her soul in peace and give you the courage to carry on....

Regards,
Saman.

It is enough to sit in a mall in some of the western countries to see old crones tottering by on ridiculously high heels, over done-up to the hilt with cosmetics and clothes designed for people decades younger than themselves. One can appreciate the "never say die" attitude, but the end result is usually pretty much of an eyesore. Older people can look good and even glamorous in stuff that suits their age, but the desperate longing for lost youth and no fountain of youth to restore it (despite tummy tucks, plastic surgery and whatever), creates painful contradictions.

A beautiful tribute, and now a eulogy, to your Mom. Mothers and daughters have special bonds.

We all age, some more gracefully than others. I am from the old school though rhe attitude in the west these days is "I am not going to act my age". Who are they fooling?

Lakshmi Mukundan alias Lokhi Menon has written a beautiful article, full of sensitivity and passion.An old, very sick and immobile mother is still precious to the children.I am very sorry to learn that Lakshmi's mother passed away on 3rd Oct 2007.

A timely tribute to a living mother when she was on her last
legs.

V.S.Gopalakrishnan

Very nice.

Thank you all for your appreciation and empathy. My Mom,about whom I wrote the piece, just passed away on the 3rd October after weeks of suffering. When I miss her I try to tell myself not to be selfish because she is now pain-free and in some happy, sunny place, hopefully.
Among the other memorable events, parents are also a major milestone that we pass in our lives, sooner or later. An era in our lives ends with them, especially when both pass on.
On #5
Adikurve, there are so many ways to look at old age in parents or ourselves and each source provides varying routes which ultimately boil down to acceptance and coming to terms with it (and death) one way or the other.
On #3
Saman Khan, I was away from home and parents from the age of 12, boarding schools, university hostels, married-and-whisked-away-abroad till I returned 5 years ago to look after my Mom. Her attitude was so unconditional that my jumbo-sized guilt melted away and I am left with no regrets.
My take: don't waste time on a guilt trip, just go ahead and do what you want to by way of interacting and caring for them when they are still around.
On #2
IB, Mothers are human, however much we idolize them, especially when they often attain an almost Goddess-like status after death. And nagging is also a very human trait rooted in concern or worry or the wish to control and therefore ensure safety or whatever. My Mom was also a solid nagger and was relentless about getting us to listen to her very specific instructions on anything big or small, whether it was how to fold our clothes, lay the table or whom to marry. We resented that when we were younger, especially in our hectic, over sensitive and self-conscious teenage years. But that habit came along with her other good attributes. We learnt to deal with it and so the two way flow of exchanging love and affection continued in spite of the nagging......

My mother is still healthy and supple as of today....but I have always dreaded of the day when I see her old. So what is the solution to this ? Should I completely ignore this thought and bury my head into sand like an ostrich? But I have found solace and relief in the Bhagwat Gita which tells us that when we see a person we falsely perceive him as a body made of gross elements. That is due to the illusory power of this world which is also God's energy. However every living entity is a divine spirit soul which never grows old and cannnot be destroyed. Christianity also preaches about the science of spirit. The thought that my mother or any close associate of mine never dies gives me great comfort. That is why it is said that "Where science ends, spirituality begins"

To bring samankhan out, this must be a very good writeup.

But seeing the interacts, I now dread reading it.

Welcome Lokhi Menon!
Think this is your first contribution to Chowk?
Well, its beautiful and touching.
Touched a chord in my heart, which forever feels guilty for not being with my parents who live alone in their home, yearning for us to join them. Being the only child, I am the only one they look up to and I suffer guilt pangs day in and day out for staying with my family away from them, and visit them during week ends, even though we live in the same city. I know I would soon have to move bag and baggage to their house - given the wrinkles and the slow walk and the desolate looks on their faces. Thank you for sharing your feelings. Both you and your mom are fortunate to have each other.

Regards,
Saman Khan.

Ah, Mothers, I have a nagging mom who is never satisfied - yet she is the biggest influence in my life! I love her!

Anyhow , It's a wonderful writeup - something different and much needed!

Lokhi:

This was beautiful, thank you for such a touching tribute to your mother and to all Mom's everywhere.