Thank You Suicide Bomber! No one is talking about my 1.5 Billion anymore!

Bulleya that was good hamidm almost had me fooled, he is a sour looser and so is Urstruly. Humor helps to keep things in perspective especially when there is little else you can do.


"Act 1 Scene 2: Tahmad enters, in his birthday suit:

Hamidm Mian: “Hey TA……you are not wearing an underwear…..when did you stop being an extremist…hahaha”
Tahmad: “Hey HM…I used to wear my loongi while I showered, but then I found out that letting my boys blow in the breeze is only forbidden in hadith….Not in the holy book”
Hamidm Mian: “Damn maulvis……I think we should bomb all these idiots who take a shower with their underwear on…..if you can’t show your boys to the boys, then you hate America….Right!!”
Tahmad: “Yeah…I think they should be bombed also…its for their own good…"



"Hamidm Mian: (turns around) “Hey Dave, check this out……I have Rush Limbaugh tattooed on my right cheek and Dinesh D’Souza on my left one….check it out, it looks like they are debating, when I flex my cheeks…….that’s the only debate that should be allowed in our red white and blue country"

Re: # 127 Dost Mitter
Look at post # 138, it is the Exhibit A of the East India leftover mentality that I lament about. Just as we speak the second biggest tragedy in the sad history of Pakistan, after East Pakistan, is being unfolded. At this very moment Pakistanis are being beheaded, their children being incinerated alive, and women being turned into minced meat. And look how insensitive this East India Company's bastard mentality has turned people into. The indignity, the misery, and the defeat that is waiting to happen for all of us is collosal. A tragedy that happened in the few thousand square yards of Jamiah Hafsa has spread far and wide corners of the country. In matter of days it will cross the Eastern bank of Indus and engulf every town, every street, and every mohalla of our country.

In sensible and free societies when people see their neighbors house on fire they do whatever they can to put it off not only because it is right thing to do but also because the fire has the potential to burn their own houses as well.

I do not expect to change this mentality with sermons and heartfelt appeals. Because that is the essence of fight between good and evil, maliase and uprightness, and between corruption and integrity of society which is happening as we speak. But I am only writing this so that people could choose their sides wisely. Imagine the Muslim societies as a body that was infected by colonialism with the viruses of malaise, corruption, and insensitivity. Now the immune system has been reawakened and it has turned against the sick parts of the body. The battle is long, hard, and painful but there is only one inevitable outcome at the end - our freedom.

Viqram bhai.....very prophetic indeed...orr nasari shayiri ka too jawab nahii thaa..bohat khoob likhtay hein hzarat

Perhaps all us Pakistanis should take a good look inside our girEbAn, and ask our boobs as to who we really are? The Adha tItar Adha baTEr that we have become over the decades leaves us fit to do nothing to change our lot. That is the single biggest edge that the jihAdIz have; they are not confused about what they want.

Zillions of AeN bAen shAen here, there, and everywhere; will there ever be any consensus? Perish the thought ...

Let us face it. It is only gup shup after all , OK intellectual masturbation at the most ... why should any of us get so worked up as to "lose our marbles", as someone pointed out?

na davA'e dard'e jigar hUN maeN
na kisI ki tirchi nazar hUn maen
na idhar huN maeN na udhar huN maen
na shikEb hUN na QarAr hUN

haaN to sAhibo, rAviyAn-e rivAyet yUN lab'be gOyA'i vA kartE haeN, ke sO'E sAra Alam jAge pAk parvardigar, jhUTA hae sansAr, allAh bas, bAQi havas, yAr zinda, sohbat bAqi

#123 Posted by Urstruly on October 27, 2007 10:49:31 am


It was an ideology that had desensitized those soldiers of the cruety towards their own flesh and blood. In other words it is not the flesh and blood,

Just as you've been desensitized into paying taxes that are going to buy the helicopter gunships that are killing your jihadi brothers(and their wonen and children)..

RE: #138 Posted by bulleya

Let us be accurate and correct:

"Scene 4: Dave walks out of the shower, as Ras steps in, wearing nothing but a smile and his "I love ZAB towel…"

Ras

Re: # 141

bj,

... i beg to disagree ....... romair mian should stick to his regular stuff - it is a lot funnier

.... first this bufoon changes his name (not knowing that he cannot wipe out his embarassing past), then he copies my dot-prose style (no, imitation is not the best form of flattery when it comes from an imbecile), then he actually tries to write funny stuff which basically flops around like bullocks on an old man ... what is next?

.... once again i would like to request chowk staff to ban this moron before he hurts himself .......

... and stop encouraging him!

Romair,

Good piece. Stick to humor.

It is as funny as your non-humor pieces - and is so by design!

You forgot the part about miaN Hamidm's morbid fear of naked Gandhi-like figures because of the associated recollections of grandpa Gopinath!

#131 Posted by abu_safwaan

Please there is nothing diff. about this. You are supporting a genocide ...

I don't think cliftonbridge is supporting genocide. What she appears to believe is that unless Pakistan wins over its local Taliban, US will eventually go to the extent of nuking Pakistan.

The question is - is that possible? And if it is, will US meet its objectives in ending terrorism on its own soil (as well as its interests elsewhere)if it actually does it?

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....absolutely hilarious bulleya

The Expat Dilemma:
-----------------

Act 1 – Scene 1: The Men’s shower room at the Dearborn, Michigan Community Center

Hamidm Mian: “Hey Dave, how is it going?”
Dave: “Fine Hamidm Mian”
Hamidm Mian: “Call me HM, Dave...”
Dave: “OK”
Hamdim Mian: “Hey Dave, did I ever tell you about my sprinkler guy.....”
Dave: “Not now, Hamidm Mian…I’m busy showeri…”
Hamidm Mian: “Call me HM…OK, so yesterday, after I had finshed of my four Budwiesers with my White Anglo-Saxon Caucasian friends in the bar, I came back and asked Mrs. HM to hand me a can of Miller Light, which was next to the Merlot….You know I drink alcohol….don’t you”
Dave: “Yes HM….you sent out an email at work, a few days ago, telling all of us.....”
Hamidm Mian: (takes off his jock strap and enters the shower)“Hey Dave, just wanted to show you that I am not like those Pakistanis who take showers with their underwear on……What Maroons!!…You know the type…who prefer caffeine free Pepsi to Hieneken..”
Dave: “Yeah, I know HM….can I just take a shower, please”
Hamidm Mian: “I like to let my boys bounce in the wind….you know like all us Americans…not like those damn maulvis……I was thinking of getting a Union Jack tatooeed on the left one…..but the doctor said, it might cause some problems…..specially since....you know….you know……all the Molsons I enjoy”

Act 1 Scene 2: Tahmad enters, in his birthday suit:

Hamidm Mian: “Hey TA……you are not wearing an underwear…..when did you stop being an extremist…hahaha”
Tahmad: “Hey HM…I used to wear my loongi while I showered, but then I found out that letting my boys blow in the breeze is only forbidden in hadith….Not in the holy book”
Hamidm Mian: “Damn maulvis……I think we should bomb all these idiots who take a shower with their underwear on…..if you can’t show your boys to the boys, then you hate America….Right!!”
Tahmad: “Yeah…I think they should be bombed also…its for their own good…What about you Dave….what are your views about bombing people who shower with their underwear on……?”
Dave: “I am totally against bombing……I hate George Bush…..I am from the Green Party…now let me shower in peace”
Tahmad: “I don’t like it either……but we have to spread democracy and freedom……and you can’t do that if you have all these guys showering in their locker rooms with their swimming suits on”
Hamidm Mian: “Its jock straps, you Maroon….not swimming suits!.....You’ve been living in US of A so long, and still haven’t integrated……..Hey Dave, you know, yesterday, when Bush was speaking about how well the Iraq war was going, I had tears in my eyes……they almost fell on the Guinness that was in my hand……you know I drink, Dave…right”
Dave: “Yes HM, we all know ….we all know!!!………”
Tahmad: “I don’t like Bush, but it’s the WMDs….I wish we didn’t have to bomb Iraq, but well……we have to……to get rid of the extremists……I can’t stand people, who force others to take showers with their undies on….. ….”
Dave: “You guys know we have killed 600,000 people…..!!”
Hamidm Mian: “Yeah….but they all had beards….I can’t stand hair……Anyone with facial hair should be bombed…….Look at me (spreads his arms and opens his legs)….I had all my hair, on my body, surgically removed………”
Dave: “I have a beard……”
Hamidm Mian: “Yeah….but you are bald……and blond…….and a White Anglo-Saxon Caucasian………….you guys are great!!…….You know my great-great grandfather migrated from Kansas to Afghanistan…….”
Dave: “You know our soldiers are getting killed also”
Hamidm Mian: ”Bravest guys in the world……..”
Dave: “Would you send your kids to get killed”
Hamidm Mian: “No way!...Are you nuts!....I believe in Adam Smith’s division of labor….My kids need to pay taxes…….so other people’s kids have enough armor to go fight”
Dave: “So you are a Cheney Republic?...What about you Tahmad”
Tahmad: “Yeah, I am ready to pay extra taxes, if I don’t have to fight….but we have to kill the extremists…..”
Dave: “But we killed 600,000 people”
Tahmad: “Yeah…all those brave souls dying for democracy….They are martyrs, according to my religion…Such brave guys”
Dave: “But they didn’t want to die!!”
Tahmad: “You know us Americans never kill anyone who doesn’t want to die for democracy….all 600,000 wanted to die!”
Hamidm Mian: “Hey Dave, I am going to go have a Lebatt Blue with Arju….I mean with my White Anglo-Saxon Caucasian friends – one is Jewish, one is Irish and a German – after I finish this shower, without my underwear…….do you want to join us…”
Tahmad: “Hey HM, can I come?”
Hamidm Mian: “No, not you………you Maroon!....I only drink with my White Anglo-Saxon Caucasian friends”
TA: “I thought you told me your only friend was Arjunm…”
Hamidm Mian: “TA!..how many times I have told you not to mention him in front of White Anglo-Saxon Caucasians!!…..Hey Dave….Hey, did I tell you about my sprinkler g…..”
Dave: “Let me finish my fuckin’ shower….you idiots…….”
Hamidm Mian: (turns around) “Hey Dave, check this out……I have Rush Limbaugh tattooed on my right cheek and Dinesh D’Souza on my left one….check it out, it looks like they are debating, when I flex my cheeks…….that’s the only debate that should be allowed in our red white and blue country….Dinesh and Rush……you know everyone else hates us, because we are so successful…….bomb’em…..”

Act 1 Scene 3: Urstruly enter the locker room, fully clothed:

Urstruly: (points to Hamidm Mian and Tahmad) “You guys know this is forbidden by Maulana Moudodi….showing your albaab-al-jawaalat-al-takmeeriyaat in public……Damn bastard americans!!”
Tahmad: “It’s only banned in Hadi…”
Hamidm Mian: “TA you Maroon!!…..we need to bomb Urstruly…look at how much hair he has…….He didn’t shave today!!......and after that, we should bomb Dave…..He hates Bush, which means he hates America…..”
Dave: “I don’t hate America……I was born here, you idiot!...”
Urstruly: “Damn bastard Americans…they are going to destroy the Ummah…”
Hamidm Mian: “Why!!”
Urstruly: “I got my Green Card on time, but they delayed my Passport by two days….Damn bastards……these Americans are the cause of every problem in the world….”
Tahmad: “Why do you live in the USA and badmouth it…..when we are trying to spread democracy and kill extremists…….”
Urstruly: “You know when I went to the welfare office to get my check, right before I went to the student assistance office to get aid for my nephew, I found the INS won’t be processing the political asylum applications for my uncle, aunt, and two brothers for another three months…….damn bastard Americans!!”
Tahmad: “Why don’t you look at HM…he lives here and loves the USA…and he supports the bombing of extremists…..each and every one of the 600,000………and he is even ready to work extra to pay taxes for the troops”
Urstruly: “I was duped…….duped into coming to the USA 17 years ago……And they keep duping me every year…….They just duped me two weeks ago…..and then, again two days ago……damn bastard Americans…..they are getting what they deserved…..you know, they aren’t even willing to expedite my cousins’ H1-B visa applications……all five are waiting…….damn Westerners…….you know two of them applied as imams at the local Detroit mosque……and the INS is still not expediting their applications…….these Americans are going to destroy Islam……”

Dave: (rolls his eyes)“…where the hell did all of you come from!!..”
Hamidm Mian: “Hey Dave, did I tell you about my sprinkler guy……He has a collection of Schlitz……”

Scene 4: Dave walks out of the shower, as Ras steps in, wearing nothing but a smile and his I love Asif Zardari towel…

To Be Continued…..

abu yaar ...they are talking to syria and iran because S and I had nothing to do with sept 11 th ...yaar sari baat sept 11th kee hai ...again if AQ/OBL were hanging in syria or iran what do you think wouldve happened?

I totally agree that diplomacy SHOULD always be the answer ..i disagree thats its being offered to us as an option. Baat rahee democracy kee ...BB is our next democratically elected leader and all she has promised is more war.

hmmm...also you are saying OBL isnt in pakland...yes that could well be true but his ideologic support (ie the taliban) is certainly in pakland so why wouldnt he be? and in 2004 handing over OBL wouldve been enough but now its about the taliban /AQ leadership too.

thats the issue entirely ...yaar if we dont support AQ /OBL then why the hell havent "we" pakistanis handed them over...its exactly what you said ...because they are heros in some areas ...and my POV is unimportant anyone who gives them sanctury for being heros is going to get a bullet in the head.

You are right it shouldnt ideologically be a pakistani bullet ...the trade centers werent pakistani ...but its our issue because either 5 people die by paki hands or 50 people die by amreeki bombs. Thats the equation, and i am on the side of least destruction. If no destruction were an option id be the first on that side ...but id have to be at ches place to think thats realistic.

Oil in IRAQ is secure? Are you at che's by any chance.. u must be smoking something good woman. Oil in Iraq is as secure as maddonna's virginity. Forget about OBL..who knows where he is? If they were sure that he was in pakistan believe me americans would have walked in n grabbed him. You are all over the place now..u r supporting bombardment of FATA just so u won't get bombarded in clifton? a tad selfish isn't it...but i m here to tell u....stop killing them over there americans still won't bomb u......if americans r on table with muqtada al sadar n iran n syria...why would they not talk with militants in fata. Karzai wants to talk to them in afghanistan ...hows it any diff in pakistan...common sense is some where between u n zee....mardoo ...aagg lagadoo...URRA doo...koii khuda kaa naam loo bhalay logoo..yeah mamla siwayey baatt cheet kayy orr kissii tarah nahi nibtay ga bibi...these militants r only considered terrorist by u..for the indigenous in that area they are heroes when u have this dynamic..u have already lost heart s n minds....just like u lost hearts n minds in east pakistan

"The world will listen to us if a democratic govt. tells them"

abu please dont break my heart. The world is full of hateful bigots and all the worlds most powerful countries either actively or passively hate muslims at this point. As long as we harbour OBL/AQ noone is listening to us on anything.

Iran which hasnt even done anything is next on the list to be bombed, have you heard the drumbeat?

As for idealism - i hope you know that i hate the idea of anyone dying ....muslim / nonmuslim what have you. Killing pathans just because i dont like maulanas is def. not my ideology at all.