And Now, The Charter of Demands—The Comedy Continues!

Following is the e-mail received about the author, Mr Ahmed Quraishi.

Ahmed Quraishi's ''enlightening' ' articles have been doing the rounds on the net of late. One can only describe him as Pakistan's very own Bill O' Reilly (with just as much credibility! ). And like O' Reilly, his most used weapon of choice is the tag of 'traitor' and 'unpatriotic' for anyone who criticizes the government (or perhaps just el presidente, the now retired generalisimo) , be they politicians, journalists, lawyers, academics, human rights activists, former army officers et al. It seems Mr. Quraishi gets his inspiration (along with his fake American accent) from Fox News.

Even a cursory look at his website might help one understand Mr. Quraishi's "unbiased, journalistic, analytical, and professional " approach to issues he so passionately addresses in his articles. Mr. Quraishi's website is studded with countless gems that reflect the luminosity of his brilliance, breadth of vision, and intellectual maturity.

For instance, in the 'biography' section of ahmedquraishi. com, (also known as the ''tooting one's own horn' section) we are informed that "Starting in the year 2003, Mr. Quraishi has lent his expertise to FurmaanRealpolitik www.furmaanrealpoli tik.com.pk), a political consulting firm originally based in Dubai."

A look at the website of furmaanrealpolitik. com.pk . (who came up with this subtle name, one wonders?) helps answer questions people might entertain regarding Mr. Quraishi's credibilty, motives and unique understanding of national and international affairs.

The 'services' offered by furmaanrealpolitik include "Intelligence, Research & Analysis;" "Surveillance & Confidential Investigations; " "Mobilization & Campaign Development; " and (my personal favourite) "Immaculate Deception Creations Tailored to Your Senses."
This 'service' is not only my favourite for the brilliant title it boasts but also for its content:

'Immaculate Deception Creations Tailored to Your Senses'? Immaculate Deception... Are we talking about peddling untruths in order to deceive? Oh dear! So how do Mr. Quraishi and the boys at furmaanrealpolitik serve their clients? The website says: "Anyone can do TV. But we go a step further -- we create...Our production can be tailored to business, political and military requirements. "

So whether it is Benazir Bhutto or Nawaz Sharif or Pervez Musharaf or the ISI or Coca Cola or Tapal Danedar Chai, the ''passionate' ' team at furmaanrealpolitik will sell its services to the highest bidder and come up with ''immaculately deceptive'' techniques ''tailored'' to their respective ''senses'' (and by senses I am guessing Mr. Quraishi is not talking about a sense of decency here!).

Is Mr. Quraishi telling us that as part of a political consulting/lobbying firm that proudly lists on its website its expertise in conjuring up lies and deceptions, that he actually makes his living by peddling lies and untruths? Or as he calls them "immaculate deceptions?"

As an analyst and a journalist, what does this say about his work, his credibility?

Are we to understand that every word Mr.Quraishi pens is written on the behest of a client? Could it be that Mr. Quraishi's 'insightful and unique take on national and international affairs is as faux as his American accent and can vary depending on who bids the highest for his immaculately deceptive words?

In case Mr. Quraishi has misunderstood the meaning of the word deception and used it by mistake (and with the same casual attitude and effort with which he throws conspiracy theories and allegations about in his articles), let me offer the servies of my humble thesauraus. Alternatives for the word deception are listed as: dishonesty, trickery, fraud, con, sham, trick, ruse, cheating... etc.

Forget about out the rest of the world, I wonder how seriously his own son, little Al Waleed, would take daddy dearest the next time he is instructed not to lie and to always tell the truth!

#109 Eklavya Sahib,
I do have a point of view and it's not necessarily based on a Muslim perspective, but rather on a humanitarian Hindustani agenda. I like the earlier Mughals for the same reason I admire the Nehrus for the same reason that I don't support Jinnah Sahib. I love Hindustan without the caste system, without the cruelty and irrationality of Sharia Law, without the inequities of our class system and how we treat our own poor people and how we kiss the ass of those who debauched our people, barred us from our own cities and parks, and made sure they were served their scotch, pork, beef, and ham in the proper manner by worshipping swarthy servants. ...and some people still see India vs Pakistan, Muslim vs Hindu, Delhi vs. Islamabad. :(

lol, you are you, salim bhai. There are many Hindus in name (communists) who don't consider Shiva ji a hero.

For Hindus and Muslims as large groups, though, there are deep divisions in their views of important individuals in history, and for clear reasons.

Elavya #104 {"I suggest Hindus should stop being victimized by Nehru of yesterday and yoginder sikands of today. Expecting that Akbar and Dara Shikoh would become the heroes of Muslims is just foolish, no matter what chacha nehru taught you. By the same token, Shivaji and Prithvi Raj Chauhan would always be heroes to non-communist Hindus. There is no common ground here, and there isn't a need for one either."}

Eklavya Sahib,
But I consider Akbar and Prithviraj Chauhan (obviously, duh!) as heroes. Of course, I have different opinion for both Dara Shikoh and Shivaji. :)

Why would two perfectly reasonable and decent chowkies - stukes and salim bhai - disagree?

Bhai log, liberal intolerance lies behind flaunting people like Akbar and Dara Shikoh as "great Muslims" of India.

Akbar was a follower of Din-e-elahi. What has din-e-elahi to do with Islam? The great sufi Ahmed Sirhindi (may he rest in peace) had to literally fight to bring Islam back to its glorious role and rule in India.

Dara-Shikoh was an upnishad-reading, christian-cross loving fool who himself wrote that he was not a Muslim (and not a Christian, not a Jew). His great and pious brother Aurangzeb, and not he, rightly had the support great sufi Sultan Bahu (May he rest in peace).
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I suggest Hindus should stop being victimized by Nehru of yesterday and yoginder sikands of today. Expecting that Akbar and Dara Shikoh would become the heroes of Muslims is just foolish, no matter what chacha nehru taught you. By the same token, Shivaji and Prithvi Raj Chauhan would always be heroes to non-communist Hindus. There is no common ground here, and there isn't a need for one either.

If we just accept things as they really are, instead of just fantasizing about them, much disagreement would just melt away.

Stuka
#105 {"Salim Chauhan's entire arguement is bogus. We Hindus admire Akbar; though he was responsible for the maximum expansion of the Mughal empire to the detriment of Hindu Rajput princes. Aurangzeb and Ghori came later..and they were bloodthirsty monsters..."}

Stuka Sahib,
You can interpret history, and as many RSS/BJP/VHP/JS/BD/SS right-wing Hindus have tried to do, you can even re-write history, but you cannot cause someone to be born hundreds of years after they have died.

Yes, Aurangzeb came much after his famous great grandfather Akbar. Unfortunately Ghori was from the 12th/13th century while Akbar was from the 16th century. Now, if you can be mistaken about when they were around, perhaps you are mistaken about them being bloodthirsty.

Alexander Pope once said:

A little Learning is a dang'rous Thing;
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian Spring.

But then, I am talking about the person who saw Singapore when he was in Lahore. :)

Maybe blacks should also admire Jefferson as a "person of his times" even though he was a slave owner?? Salim Chauhan's entire arguement is bogus. We Hindus admire Akbar; though he was responsible for the maximum expansion of the Mughal empire to the detriment of Hindu Rajput princes. Aurangzeb and Ghori came later..and they were bloodthirsty monsters. It is a Muslim choice to celebrate Aurangzeb or Dara Shikoh; Akbar or or Ghori. Every time period has its heroes and villains..if the Muslims of today choose to celebrate the villains of the Hindus as their heroes, it is their problem and not ours. Pakistan is free to determin its own national narrative. The people of Pakistan are truly conquered in mind and sPirit when they consider the killers of LOCAL Muslims to be heroes. The people of India are ot conquered to the extent that we will accept and celebrate a blood soaked alien narrative.

Pardesi and salim bhai

We should not even chase this mirage. It is absurd to expect that Hindu masses will not be proud of Prithvi Raj Chauhan, or that any non-trivial numbers of lovers of Islam will actually stop being proud of and thankful to Ghori. As individuals we can make any statement we want, but that's where it ends.

#102 Pardesi {"We Sikhs have suffered at the hands of "Modi of New Delhi" in 1984 ...Regarding other "gentlemen" ..they should not be admired/worshiped blindly and destructive weapons should not be named after them... This is what really makes indian nationalists go crazy.

American, Indian, Pakistanis must expose any fault lines in their own heroes (e.g., Jefferson, Gandhi, Jinnah respectively) so that future generations can get balanced view of their founding fathers and hopefully be better humans than these gentlemen."}

Pardesi Payee,
I agree with you - especially the reference to the "Modis" of Delhi in 1984. It was horrible and really damaged Gandhiji's India's image world-wide even more than the 2002 Gujarat massacre. The main reason is that in 2002, the West almost "welcomed" killing of Muslims anywhere in large numbers.
If we stopped having destructive weapons, there would be no need to name them after frightening "gentlemen." I wonder how berzerk Pakis go after learning that Indian missiles are named after my relative, Prithviraj Chauhan?

I agree that we all need to genuinely and sincerly examine the qualities and shortcoming of our heroes so that we can learn to be like them or unlike them based on our honest evaluations.

#100/101 Salim Bhai,

I agree with you on Modi. We Sikhs have suffered at the hands of "Modi of New Delhi" in 1984 and therefore we know the pain too well.

Regarding other "gentlemen", what they did to India perhaps can be rationalized as norms of the times. However, this day and age they should not be admired/worshiped blindly and destructive weapons should not be named after them, if we all want to co-exist together. This is what really makes indian nationalists go crazy.

American, Indian, Pakistanis must expose any fault lines in their own heroes (e.g., Jefferson, Gandhi, Jinnah respectively) so that future generations can get balanced view of their founding fathers and hopefully be better humans than these gentlemen.

Regards.

Pardesi Sahib,
In the spirit of being "kind" to people from earlier generations, please ask the RSS/BJP/VHP/BD/JS/SS mantra choir to be "kind" to bin Qasim, Ghaznavi, Ghori, Khilji, Tughlak, Babur, and Aurangzeb. These "gentlemen" behaved according to the mores of their times. We can't have it both ways - accept Jefferson's racist faults because it was a time of slavery and blame Muslim conquerors for looting, pillaging, conquering, and bloodshed judging from Gandhiji's non-violent standards with perfect 20/20 hindsight.

Pardesi Sahib,
Thank you for correcting me. Yes I did mean what you stated. Now, as for comparing personalities separated by centuries or judging people from previous generations, I fully agree with you. I was NOT the one who started to compare Mushy to Jefferson. At least, you must agree, that we can compare the "cruel" dictator Mushy to the "benign" democratically-elected Modi.

following is from indiatimes, which is quoting economist.com:

"Meanwhile, an Economist.com report said that Shaukat Aziz could be a good choice for the post.

“The 58-year old joined Citibank in 1969, and worked in various parts of its global empire, including Britain, Greece and Malaysia, before eventually becoming global head of Citi’s private bank. So he knows the firm week, and certainly has good international experience,” the report noted. It further noted that Aziz might be tempted to find an exit from Pakistan politics, given its current state of emergency. After Aziz resigned as prime minister last month, Pakistani daily The News reported he was looking forward to return to his previous organisation Citigroup."

http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/International_Business/Pandit_Aziz_in_race_f or_Citis_job/articleshow/2590471.cms

#94 Salim_Chauhan [ .. I submit that Mushy is a lot better than either Modi or Mushy - despit what Chacha may assert.]

I think you meant Mushy is better than Modi or Jefferson.

Look, I am not here to defend "Chacha" since he is more than capable of fighting for his convictions :).

However, comparing Mushy to Jefferson is ridiculous. People have to be judged by the prevailing social norms and customs. You would agree that it is absurd to accuse your prophet of marrying a child in 7th century since we can not comprehend the realities and circumstances of the times in those far away lands.

By the same token, accusations about "all men" vs "all white AND black men" and abusing slaves have to be seen in 18th century context. I think his efforts even to give all whites equal rights were noble (as was the french revolution) and started the ball rolling resulting in what we have today - an attempt to give equal rights to ALL people irrespective of their color or national origin. No society is perfect but some are making an attempt to move towards it.

It's in this context that people call him one of the founding fathers. Please be kind to him :).

People trying to comment on subprime should first learn the accrual basis of accounting.

Citi and others are only writing back the unrealized incomes from capital what they've booked (and distributed) as profit since years.

One shouldn't comment upon about what one knows nothing about.

But it also shows the accuracy of the idiom that when rickshaw drivers and green grocers start to talk about stock-markets, it is time to cash-in.

#95 HP [First, let me just enjoy this about Shortcut Aziz ‘rumor has it that he maybe the next ceo of Citibank.’]

You are right. Never heard his name mentioned in the local media.

Vikram Pandit is rumored to be close to getting the nod early next week. This is not bad after Citi paid close to $800 Million to buy his hedge fund.