The Disturbed

Re: # 23 Thanks leenah! Your suggestion is much appreciated. I'd be careful about it in the future :-)

Handling psychological problems in third person narrative, such that both the point of views could be sensitively conveyed, requires not only skill, but also sensitivity.
So, very well written!
However, I would have liked Dr. Afridi more had he not been hasty to say, "I am talking about the reality that your sister is no more.� For a psychologist treating a psychosis patient, it could have been more steady.
But, good execution of the idea. Well done.

Re: # 21 Thank you for reading it! :-)

Its beautiful.. adoreable writing... :)

Re: # 19 Thank you so much mangotree :)

okay, ayesha, hoping the same here, may your muse keeps visiting you. Keep up the good work.

Re: # 17 kalihawa, thank you for reading the story.

Very good!

Just one disconnect. Not enough reason for doctor suddenly asking for sister’s email id and telephone no.

And last line is redundant.

Re: # 14 raiya_23, That is true if you are friends with your sister than you are really close. Marriage is a gamble you can't say will you lose or win :)

Re: # 13 ejazharoon, thanks for appreciating the effort :)

Amazing!!!...you have depicted the girl`s condition really well & as 4 attachment btwn sisters I know how it feels cz i hav one & she is like my personal diary..plus indirectly u have pointed out another harsh reality ...i read somewhere 85% of the women r emotionally & mentally tortured after marriage...sad..

Good portrayal of the seductive-though-somewhat-unbalanced female. Not that there's anything unique to women when it comes to being attractive yet a little unwell.

Re: # 11 Thank you rahul_capri for dropping in. I really appreciate your critique.

Ayesha, Though the story is technically okay;my problem with it is that its too generic.It doesnt have an identity.How is it different from any other account of a disturbed person? It turns out to be as an assembly line production;which in itself is not a bad thing.Its probably me who expects something more from a story.

Re: # 8 rozaiba, thank you for liking the story. Could you please be specific that why these two lines should have been omitted?

Re: # 7 catfischblues, Thank you for your comments.