The Disturbed

Re: # 19 Thank you so much mangotree :)

okay, ayesha, hoping the same here, may your muse keeps visiting you. Keep up the good work.

Re: # 17 kalihawa, thank you for reading the story.

Very good!

Just one disconnect. Not enough reason for doctor suddenly asking for sister’s email id and telephone no.

And last line is redundant.

Re: # 14 raiya_23, That is true if you are friends with your sister than you are really close. Marriage is a gamble you can't say will you lose or win :)

Re: # 13 ejazharoon, thanks for appreciating the effort :)

Amazing!!!...you have depicted the girl`s condition really well & as 4 attachment btwn sisters I know how it feels cz i hav one & she is like my personal diary..plus indirectly u have pointed out another harsh reality ...i read somewhere 85% of the women r emotionally & mentally tortured after marriage...sad..

Good portrayal of the seductive-though-somewhat-unbalanced female. Not that there's anything unique to women when it comes to being attractive yet a little unwell.

Re: # 11 Thank you rahul_capri for dropping in. I really appreciate your critique.

Ayesha, Though the story is technically okay;my problem with it is that its too generic.It doesnt have an identity.How is it different from any other account of a disturbed person? It turns out to be as an assembly line production;which in itself is not a bad thing.Its probably me who expects something more from a story.

Re: # 8 rozaiba, thank you for liking the story. Could you please be specific that why these two lines should have been omitted?

Re: # 7 catfischblues, Thank you for your comments.

Good story.

"“I know it has been on the net. I read the obituary and the local news as well. It often happens the loved one can’t accept the loss and…”"

The first two lines should have been omitted.

I liked this one. The writer succesfully painted the picture. I loved the decription of the rain. I could almost feel the rain tapping gently on my window- this is work of a good writer

Re: # 5 Thank you SamaKhan :)

Very Nice! I really liked it.

Write more

Re: # 2 Faiqah! Thank you so much. Every story basically is the writer’s inner voice talking to the readers through words.

Re: # 1 Thanks Sarah! Your comments are so flattering. I know the theme of the story is quite dark.

my goodness... this is like someone's inner voice speaking out. It's so good :)

disturbingly well written:)