The Disturbed

disturbingly well written:)

my goodness... this is like someone's inner voice speaking out. It's so good :)

Re: # 1 Thanks Sarah! Your comments are so flattering. I know the theme of the story is quite dark.

Re: # 2 Faiqah! Thank you so much. Every story basically is the writer’s inner voice talking to the readers through words.

Very Nice! I really liked it.

Write more

Re: # 5 Thank you SamaKhan :)

I liked this one. The writer succesfully painted the picture. I loved the decription of the rain. I could almost feel the rain tapping gently on my window- this is work of a good writer

Good story.

"“I know it has been on the net. I read the obituary and the local news as well. It often happens the loved one can’t accept the loss and…”"

The first two lines should have been omitted.

Re: # 7 catfischblues, Thank you for your comments.

Re: # 8 rozaiba, thank you for liking the story. Could you please be specific that why these two lines should have been omitted?

Ayesha, Though the story is technically okay;my problem with it is that its too generic.It doesnt have an identity.How is it different from any other account of a disturbed person? It turns out to be as an assembly line production;which in itself is not a bad thing.Its probably me who expects something more from a story.

Re: # 11 Thank you rahul_capri for dropping in. I really appreciate your critique.

Good portrayal of the seductive-though-somewhat-unbalanced female. Not that there's anything unique to women when it comes to being attractive yet a little unwell.

Amazing!!!...you have depicted the girl`s condition really well & as 4 attachment btwn sisters I know how it feels cz i hav one & she is like my personal diary..plus indirectly u have pointed out another harsh reality ...i read somewhere 85% of the women r emotionally & mentally tortured after marriage...sad..

Re: # 13 ejazharoon, thanks for appreciating the effort :)

Re: # 14 raiya_23, That is true if you are friends with your sister than you are really close. Marriage is a gamble you can't say will you lose or win :)