Color-Blind Love

Re: # 32

Urstruly sahib:

"wa hahi anil munkir"

What does "anil" mean in the above, just curious?

#44: oh wait, you did write about faith-blind love, the title threw me off!!!

It is really great that you can meet the challenges that an inter-faith relationship presents. I was not able to do that in my own relationship with a desi man, and we are both Christian except that he's Catholic and I am not. Go figure! It is harder when families put pressure on a couple, and it does not seem like that is the case with you.

Re: # 50,ana; "Go figure! It is harder when families put pressure on a couple, and it does not seem like that is the case with you."

Pressures are always there under these circumstances. Sometimes one has to have some moral courage to rise above them too. It doesn't hurt to, now and again, stand up for what one believes to be true. Otherwise it is quite easy to waste one's life seeking other's approval all the time.

One of the main reason for not being able to challenge silly traditionalism is this fear; once one takes the plunge, the rest follows. It can also prove to be a test of character too; I know where I'd stand when it comes to that.

One of the strongest arguments one hears under the circumstances is that of a 'lack of longevity' of relationships in the west especially. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the main reason relationships survive for longer in our society is the inferior status of the female partner; they are groomed all their lives for one thing (well over 95% of the time) only; how to be good wives and mothers. With 'joint family' living, again they are far outnumbered and simply don't stand a chance. If one party accepts everything thrown at them without question, of course there are less likely to be issues of divorce; besides, what exactly would be the status of a divorced woman in Pakistan (before somone jumps in, I am talking of the 'real' Pakistan that represents 98% of the population and not a previlaged few who tend to try to maintain this easygoing, liberal image in the west!

For me, I'd rather have an equal partnership with my wife (I think we do for the most part!). The girls I knew from Pakistan were at times far too accommodating and flexible; if anything, that put me off a bit. I like to be appropriately challenged at times; it is stimulating and keeps one on one's toes!

Over the past almost 5 decades, I have seen four generations of pakistani-foreign marriages. In all cases they have worked out very well. All this talk of different cultures, religion and so forth has been as much irrelevant bs as it is on chowk where those with too much time rant about them.

As for the maulvi - they are not muslims. And same for those who give up their God-given brains and look to maulvis for "guidance". Simple as that.

It is always good to upgrade color complexion. One can not change color of skin upit helps to see children having more fair color.
Love is blind so color does not matter but for family it matters. If man marries white is improvement but what happens if man marries dark colored african in usa.It can be problem for parents and brothers and sisters to be associated with africans etc.
I have no objection to our people upgrading color but opposed to go down. It is pathos many children even with nice white mother just take color from father.
It is hard on man all time. Now we know and famalier with sad sorroful tragedy of Othello and lady Desdimona. People are mean minded and shallow and will look at couple and say look at miserable woman she has married dark deshi etc comments.
This type of marriage has advantages as children lookwhite and demand if girls and helps father tomarry them off with out spending much money. ( marriage market white women are gone like IPO )
Now there are someproblems with white women.They are all right up after some time they suddenly good very old and husband starts looking as younger brother. They get bone loss and they get too fat as they keep on eating very neutriuous food and they loose charm. While deshi women may look dark but they are strong like black buffallows strong also they donot divorce and protect husband.And they willnot marry ifman dies.
Now women has advantage over man in choosing partner. Most deshis are little overgrown by age doing masters etc. And good women from deshi marriage market are gone already when he hits for bride late commers are always at tremendious disadvantage. Also it takes man to adjust self valuation and it is cruel and mirror image is stark.Our desi hero is 27 and looking for beautiful,able,conservative but modern and tall and very fair to match his image of american white man. He wastes 3 years rejecting nice women/girls for not differential toeyes ofman,too DARK , has not kept figure etc.Then women start rejectibg him for being too old, Dark and fat and overeducated fool etc. Then these many evil white women who are ambituious not so good looking and reject in dating market are waiting with all charms.And then desi man is captured and he compromises all for marriage sake ,love is concept at age of 32 is old past glory.
I am for color upgrading ( down grading just wrong) if white lady is beautiful really . Man should take test blind test. If you feel if lady was dark as in desi and she will stunning then color mixing is ok.
If lady is devorced walk away if she has children then start running Toba Toba its bomb . Divorced women are romantic by nature and they always feel next attempt will they will get real love. Divorce is habit of romantic people.
Desi is generally man educated he is master degree if white woman is not master then donot marry.
Marry in proper status just like Punji Munda is not going to marry Kumbhar.
Formost family it is great loss though they love child so they donot show it. So hope fully lady becomes muslim and starts waeing modest dress and children attend mosque and not church or other false religions. It is loss as they willnever be pakistani nationalist orbeliever in basic principles of pakistan formation tnt etc. It loss to country and religion as they will never be good muslims or ready to fight for rightous ways.
Actually people should marry before they complete college as those love birds lookgood but once they start doing job the girls start looking woman and man looks mature to be love bird. But now days it is bad fashion not to marry but date even in karachi.Now people like me are against such things we willlike dating after marriage but we told as old reactionaries and obstacle to lafangas is tragedies.
Also desiman should be aware you can not fathom women when you are in love those white women are not. Women are very calculating and accounting oriented they lookat man as possible father to children, as provider of food and home,and ifman will take care of children if she dies,if he will care in old age and marrying him ismore beneficial than other Mr X. So women / white are not love ,no women are they are complex calculating machine and they little down points for color but they all add. While man is crazy romantic and and strange ideas of love ( problems of reading poems and love stories etc) and his problem is only visual and when she laughs he feels like child. o forgets about education ,cultural back ground ,intelligence and color complex dazzles ( najarene bhi kam kiya n khawb ka- mr. Galib) and he is caught.That is problem sowe old are against love marriages.
Any way if onelike white woman be strength for them,its their life and let us best luck.

But one should be careful not marry on southside due to color. I read Mr.Masadi had remarked most white women marry desi are fat. Also they less educated ?If this true then its exploitation being equalone should marry white for future generation.

I have no good understanding of white people sojust these arespecualtions ofmr.Madaninothing morenothing less.
Good day morning.

Mr Madani: Why are you so concerned about color complexion? Unless your color is deep green (in which case you need to see a doctor), the color of your skin should be the least of your concerns.

Re: # 53; madani (color does not matter but for family it matters. If man marries white is improvement but what happens if man marries dark colored african in usa.It can be problem for parents and brothers and sisters to be associated with africans etc.

what a load of bollocks, to put it in the vernacular for your benefit!

mr. madani: and on reading a bit further, i see you are superior to american blacks. rest assured that the only thing lower than an mqm racist like you is one of these hindutva monkeys on chowk. So dont dare insult normal people by acting superior to them, you damned mqm racist!!

How's business Dr Cheema?

Re: # 57tahmed;

been extremely busy thanks. Story of my life....

read on this loonie's (madani) interact though; very enlightening!

#58 akcheema: I read his first couple of lines - this is the way he always is - color of skin, ethnicities, and so forth. He is an older gentleman, so I suppose i should not get mad at him too much.

Have a good night (or day or whatever it is in Australia).

# 55. 56 Please donot put blinds. Every man and women wants to be white. POWDER means white , no woman like to put coal dust on them. Look all important women they will not come out skin foundation and billions of rupees of remedies.Look matrimonial pages. Nothing wrong to feelwhith bright color heaven fullofhoney and milk flowing in rivers all white while hell is dark. Even BB was was white as she appeared due to over painting and she did toimpress herself and other AWAM.Sonyji Gandhili and BB had attactrion duetotheir cream color. They would not have that power and love of people if they were dark or africans.
I said about my preference but people have different tastes ,my cat one is white pure like cotton or snow and other cats know that she is white and they like her most than other cats.
No you lived there what My friend Masadi wrote isright or wrong most desi marry fat white and they are generally less educated. Now color isnot everything alsoaltafbhai is almost caoldarkbut he is king of heart of karachi.
Dark people are not bad just color of them is dark nothing more nothing less. I am told there some movie (I donot see them) "Hum hay kale Phir bhi Dilwale".
All heronies and heros of desh are white and bad people are additinally potrayed dark to add "masala".Now theseindinan producers know what people want.

Re: # 60; madani sahib; Re:(I said about my preference but people have different tastes ,my cat one is white pure like cotton or snow and other cats know that she is white and they like her most than other cats.)

paaji bus karo hun; hus hus ke vakhiyaan tut gaye'aan ne!!... There is some level of innocence and sincerity in how you put your views forward.....I just can't stop laughing though!!

Khuda Hafiz for now sir...

If some body can help me I will like to picture of my cat and grace this pages.
She is 9 years old and her mother and fatherwere both white skinned like cats. I researched through books and looking at pictures. It is not deshi cat.My feeling is some big english officer my have brought her Grandparents on steamship. I my friend ( foreen resident) had visited and then she wrote researched it is " Short haired english Tabby".He send me that jat cat picture its english shart haired. I could not allow her to have children from some deshi cats so had operation.

with due regards for viewing pleasure of the wannabees

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cReHCdLBB5Y

injoy

White black or in between, whatever tickles one's fancy, as the beauty is in the eyes of beholder. In the good old US of A it has been observed & heard from black women specially when they have an adversarial conversation filled with envy, they would usually comment that, whats in white color, when white girls get a black mole they call it a beauty spot! now thats not untrue, poets backhome have abundantly written poetry such as "teray mukhray da kala kala till way" and others.
I have come across a few desi men in their 50's & 60's who when once upon a time they were charged up with their youthful spirits ended up marrying a white lady, and there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion although I did not commit such an act, but now after few decades when their children grew up they look back and regret their indulgence.
But then there are a few of those desis also who are married to white ladies and are quite content, off course they wont regret because they did all the right things from inception of their relationship to be worthy better halves of each other.
The principle matter is the intention of one getting involved in an inter-racial &/or inter-faith marriage, is it , the beauty, the appearance, the appeal, the lust or is it that love at first sight, or, were the two made for each other.
As you state in your article there has been many killings based on this very issue where people of one color felt insulted that their kind of person got married to a different color or faith although it has gone down however not quite totally and such sentiments and emotions are still present in today's society specially among the white supremacists where some consider any "colored" person to be inferior than themselves.
Conventionally among the people of Jewish faith the off-springs are to take mother's religion, i.e. if mother is Jewish the children are expected to be Jewish as well regardless of faith, in a manner that is the sign of a self-destructive society since most Jewish women marry Jewish men although there is still a good number of Jewish women who end up marrying a non-Jewish man. On the other hand the children of today specially in the western society don't necessarily follow the religion of parents while some go astray some reserve the right to chose their own once they have developed wisdom to examine various faiths therefore raising children by a given faith of parents does not necessarily have any serious influence.
While there is beauty in all colors and shades, I pretty much feel that our sub-continental sanwla salona complexion beats all other shades and grey-scale too.