The Psychology of Mothering

Dr. Sohail, ... some (skeptical?) thoughts on the issue of gender differences.

Our limbs and body parts are accompanied with instincts on how to make the best use of them. Ears and tongue are accompanied with instincts to speak, legs and arms come with instincts to walk, teeth and jaw muscles with instincts to chew and swallow … and so on.

Functionality of a woman’s body is very much built around the tasks of conceiving, bearing, delivering, and nurturing a child. It is an intricate system, fine-tuned over billions of years. The accompanying nurturing instincts must be equally intricate and fine-tuned … and I doubt if a man’s nurturing instincts can ever be at par with those of a woman. This is an open-and-shut case in my view.

100 years of industrialization, 40 years of feminism, 20 years of information revolution is not enough to offset instincts of billion-plus years. So I remain skeptical of new-age explanations telling us that the gender gap has drastically shrunk. It has not … it remains wide as ever. Explanations insisting otherwise are based upon superficial, perfunctory analysis.

As for women/men who no longer want to have children … I think a bulk of explanation lies in the recent changes in the socio-economic structures. I think masadi is on to something here. The so-called progress is largely driven by desire and ability for Uber-consumerism … where people are mindlessly chasing images mass-marketed to them through glossy magazines, cable tv, and yes, the internet. The capitalist ideal of increasing one’s per-hour industrial productivity is neatly packaged and sold to everyone … men, women, and children. As productivity rises, so does the cost of living. One-income families yield to two-income families; it’s a downward spiral. Soon, Credit appears on the scene, followed by cars that change every year, designer clothes, packaged frozen food, and now, HDTVs. It is a race to the bottom. Who has time for children?

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Fatherhood may very well be an innate instinct … whereby the father ensures propagation of his genes to the next generation. Perhaps fathers taught their children how to climb tress, in primitive days; shooting arrows, in later days; and how to get into a good college, nowadays. The underlying theme remains constant more or less … to teach their children how to survive and excel in a given environment.

Hamidm, or any other man, would perhaps be more inclined to jump off the bridge to save his wife if she was pregnant, esp. with their first child. This inclination would probably recede as she bears more children, as she ages, as her fertility declines. I think these are facts disturbing to some, and hence the new-age humanism, which largely fails to account for the bleak side of our existence.

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I remain skeptical of ideologies that downplay gender differences. That is not to say that men’s and women’s roles are completely exclusive; nay, there’s a significant overlap. I view the two genders operating in spheres of life, with complementary primary and secondary roles.

Primarily, men are best suited for earning a living; women, for taking care of the household. That’s simply how their respective instincts have evolved and exist today. At a secondary level, these roles may be switched … with men changing diapers and women sharing the burden of making a living. This sharing of responsibilities takes the burden off the stressed partner, giving him/her time to regain strength and composure … after which they return to the roles they are best suited for.

Yes, a woman can be trained for a full-time corporate role and a man may be trained to become a full-time nanny. Similarly, a cat, with enough training, may learn to bark and look after a herd. Doing so would be an immensely inefficient process. Eventually these inefficiencies will cost mankind in more ways than one.

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Re: # 181
dear dr shah murad...i like your enthusiasm. my sister lives in lahore but i am in canada and have a creative psychotherapy clinic. please write to me on my personal
email address...
welcome@drsohail.com
and we can chat
sincerely
khalid sohail
www.drsohail.com
ps...the last time i was in lahore was to interview javed iqbal mughal in his death cell in kot lakhpat jail in 2000

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good dr saheb.
nice to interact wd u.
u wrote story of my mind on "psychology of mothering".
by the way where u work now a days?
I m Dr.Shah Murad,Associate Professor in Pharmacology deptt: at lahore medical and dental college,LAHORE.
my cell # is 0314-2243415
What is ur cell # sir?

good dr saheb.
nice to interact wd u.
u wrote story of my mind on "psychology of mothering".
by the way where u work now a days?
I m Dr.Shah Murad,Associate Professor in Pharmacology deptt: at lahore medical and dental college,LAHORE.
my cell # is 0314-2243415
What is ur cell # sir?

masadi: since i can see you have made an attempt to write like something approaching a civilized man (try avoiding references to balls in future) rather than a maniac, I'll tell you why the substance of what you wrote in #161 is bs. This is why:

You are merely repeating long discarded beliefs when you say "mental ailments tht are quite social in their cause, treating them as if they were private problems requiring a quick fix pill". This displays your ignorance of modern psychiatry. Here is something to get you to started on the basics (from wikipedia):

Following Sigmund Freud's death, ideas stemming from psychoanalytic theory also began to take root.[48] The psychoanalytic theory became popular among psychiatrists because it allowed the patients to be treated in private practices instead of asylums.[48] However the progress of psychiatry by the 1970s turned psychoanalytic theory into a marginal school of thought within the field.[48]


Otto Loewi's work led to the identification of the first neurotransmitter, acetylcholine.This period of time saw the reemergence of biological psychiatry. Psychopharmacology became an integral part of psychiatry starting with Otto Loewi's discovery of the first neurotransmitter, acetylcholine.[49] Neuroimaging was first utilized as a tool for psychiatry in the 1980s.[50] The discovery of chlorpromazine's effectiveness in treating schizophrenia in 1952 revolutionized treatment of the disease, [51] as did lithium carbonate's ability to stabilize mood highs and lows in bipolar disorder in 1948.[52] While psychosocial issues were still seen as valid, psychotherapy was seen to be their "cure."[53] Genetics were once again thought to play a role in mental illness.[49] Molecular biology opened the door for specific genes contributing mental disorders to be identified.[49] By 1995 genes contributing to schizophrenia had been identified on chromosome 6 and those genes contributing to bipolar disorder on chromosomes 18 and 21.[49]

The numbers themselves 22% of the population to 80% suggest that such ailments are not personal in character but rather are social and need solutions aimed at a structure that is producing such ailments regardless of personal character or idiosyncrasies. If we followed the shrink mode of treatment, there would be no need for epidimologists and epidemic patterns would never be studied to get to the source of the spread, whole populations would be wiped out as people went about treating the person only- this however is not how it is supposed to work- it worked like that in the dark ages and the white man lost entire cities to disease.....tahmed as an apologist for the elite would i) mask the distress that shows up in a wide percent of the US population because of their system ii)sacrifice the majority to save the system of his masters. He should be horsewhipped, put on a donkey and jeered through every town of every country of the world, like the olympic torch as kids whip his a$$ with slippers....

BTW According to the Chicago Trib's report, estimates suggest that up to 80% of US society displays some form of psychological symptoms, and that up to 22% have psychological problems serious enough to interfere with their day to day living which are diagnosable (Chicago Tribune 12/1999). The number of registered shrinks is the highest it has ever been in the US, number of prescriptions they give out is also a record that shows regular increase, YET these shrinks claim that they fix people's problems by treatment at the private level- Of course they are full of BS and are making money at the expense of the public by hoodwinking them with their nonsense and drugging them to deal with the injustices of an alienating system they live under because for the tens of millions alcohol as escape is just not strong enough, and other escapes like over consumption have produced a massively obese society.....these shrink are mere tools in the hands of the elite to mitigate the effects of a system that is barbarous to the core.....

In addition to #161 that these shrinks cannot refute, let me post this news report:..

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Stay calm everyone, there's Prozac in the drinking waterMark Townsend The Observer,
Sunday August 8 2004
This article appeared in the Observer on Sunday August 08 2004 on p1 of the News section.

It should make us happy, but environmentalists are deeply alarmed: Prozac, the anti-depression drug, is being taken in such large quantities that it can now be found in Britain's drinking water.

Environmentalists are calling for an urgent investigation into the revelations, describing the build-up of the antidepressant as 'hidden mass medication'. The Environment Agency has revealed that Prozac is building up both in river systems and groundwater used for drinking supplies.

The government's chief environment watchdog recently held a series of meetings with the pharmaceutical industry to discuss any repercussions for human health or the ecosystem.

The discovery raises fresh fears that GPs are overprescribing Prozac, Britain's antidepressant of choice. In the decade up to 2001, overall prescriptions of antidepressants rose from nine million to 24 million a year.

A recent report by the Environment Agency concluded Prozac could be potentially toxic in the water table and said the drug was a 'potential concern'.

However, the precise quantity of Prozac in the nation's water supplies remains unknown. The government's Drinking Water Inspectorate (DWI) said Prozac was likely to be found in a considerably 'watered down' form that was unlikely to pose a health risk.

Dr Andy Croxford, the Environment's Agency's policy manager for pesticides, told The Observer: 'We need to determine the effects of this low-level, almost continuous discharge.'

Norman Baker, the Liberal Democrat's environment spokesman, said the revelations exposed a failing by the government on an important public health issue. He added that the public should be told if they were inadvertently taking drugs like Prozac.

'This looks like a case of hidden mass medication upon the unsuspecting public,' Baker said. 'It is alarming that there is no monitoring of levels of Prozac and other pharmacy residues in our drinking water.'

Experts say that Prozac finds its way into rivers and water systems from treated sewage water. Some believe the drugs could affect their reproductive ability.

European studies have also expressed disquiet over the impact of pharmaceuticals building up in the environment, warning that an effect on wildlife and human health 'cannot be excluded'.

'It is extremely unlikely that there is a risk, as such drugs are excreted in very low concentrations,' a DWI spokesman said. 'Advanced treatment processes installed for pesticide removal are effective in removing drug residues,' he added.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2004/aug/08/health.mentalhealth