The Psychology of Mothering

Dr Sahib,

I really didn't understand the purpose of this article; may be I am a tad slow?

Unfortunately we have this very male oriented mindset to analyse such issues and try as we may, it is hard to get away from this. I don't recall hearing about a crisis drop in the growth rate of human population; quite the reverse as a matter of fact. There are more people alive now than ever lived on this planet in human history. Surely no woman should be made to feel guilty in not wanting to have children or being your 'typical mother'; whatever that might mean anyway!

People are living longer than they ever did before. Children tend to survive (as opposed to in the past; advances in medical science etc) and families would inevitably become smaller as a result. Even within the third world country like Pakistan (with 'unacceptably' high infant mortality rates) the population has more than quadrupled in the last 50 years; surely some women NOT performing their 'natural' duties would, if anything, be a welcome change. There is just so much more to life than there ever was before.

As the male members of society, we are very keen to 'enjoy' the fruits of what modern civilisation has to offer; if a woman wants to do the same, we call upon 'nature' and its 'requirements' to use the 'guilt trip' psychology to get our way; a bit unfair don't you think?

As far as 'calls of nature' are concerned (Ref: the concept of the 'milk/breast response' mentioned by someone), exactly how 'natural' are our lives today? We get up in the morning (alarm clock..?natural), daily routines (shower/shave etc ?natural), breakfast, get in the car (?natural), go to work (?natural), come home and go to the fridge for food (?natural) day in day out; I leave the rest to everyone's imagination.

Surely 'nature' would want us to live 'naturally', with the 'tribe' hunting/gathering for sustenance day in day out, living stark naked and procreating all over the place as 'nature' intended; more than 2/3 of our 'brood' would die of 'natural' causes and our lives would be altered all the time due to 'natural' disasters; all in all there would be about a few hundred thousand of us running around in our 'natural' attire rather the over six billion!

And hamidm sahib, men DO have breast tissue and it DOES respond to the same hormones the female ones do to!! Well done for being 'man-enough' to share your 'domesticated' side with us; I would proudly own up to silimar 'domesticated' practices of my own in recent history!

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Re: # 37[My simple response to you is : go F yourself...]


masadi saab, can you teach me how to do that saab. that way i can be self sufficient like you saab and dont have to look to the 'west' saab

Re: # 29

nasadi,

........ you fool! ... this is why you were not able to get your H-1B ....... if mother's milk is that great then how come infant mortality is ten twenty times higher in the underdeveloped and developing world ? ...... both my grandmothers lost two babies before their first birthday and it was considered the norm in the 'good old days' of mother's milk ....... and i am not sure that the good 'enzymes' that you are talking about can be duplicated in formula - maybe cheema sahib can shed some light on it ...... however, i know for a fact that my daughters are healthier and have a higher iq than both me and their mother, who were both raised on mother's milk .... and the younger one didn't have to suffer from chicken pox either because the us elite had invented a vaccine before she was born ..........

........ no mumps, no chicken pox, no polio, no rubella, no measels, no whooping cough - they did not have to suffer any of these ailments that have turned you into the pathetic fool that you are today .........

anil mian,

.... all this bs about the joys of 'mothering' is a conspiracy by men to keep women barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen while they go out to save the world over eighteen holes of golf or gup shup over a cup of tea with their testicular mates .......... next thing you know somone will be writing an article on the joy of mopping the floor and doing laundry !......... trust me, i have done this stuff and there is nothing enjoyable about these tasks - that is why god invented domestic servants and mexicans ....

Re: # 40; hamidm sahib

LoL!!one is always guaranteed a laugh I must say; all praise be to the moon god for making us a happy bunch.

Formalities out of the way, braest feeding is good for bonding; all the ingredients, however, are easily reproduced in labs. It would be fair to say that in a clean and hygienic environment, bottle/breast are quite interchangeable. However, I like to be more 'objective' as you know. In my own study of the demographics of breast feeding in the North of England, I discovered that a baby born to a white mother was far more likely to be breast fed than one born to an asian (generic term in England for Indo-Paki-Bangla) mother! This subsequently bore out in the larger nation-wide study published in the BMJ (British Medical Journal). I'd be happy to dig out references if needed.

I am not sure peons/elite of either the East or the West were necessarily involved but people ARE entitled to their opinions nevertheless.

I also agree with you on the 'apparent appeal/prestige to be had' of domestic duties. Just like I have challenged the 'jihadis' to try doing their 'dirty work' themselves, same applies to men who feel for the "loss" of maternalism for women not wanting to do mundane chores for the confort of their "families", by which they invarably mean "the males of the families".

Being the eldest son in my own family, growing up I was acutely aware of my parents (esp my mum!) trying to order my sister around to pamper me (being the male). My intervention, rather than being regarded as a positive change, was seen with great suspicion, put down to my lack of religious belief and labelled as "the evil of western thought"! (perhaps they hadn't heard of the Elite!!).

Re: # 41

P.S.: the study I quoted, the ethnic minority mothers would continue to breast feed for longer overall (including the African group with others), but the rates of initiation and total duration of feeding was the same in white and Pakistani women. So perhaps no significant difference overall; thought it was important to clarify that.

Re: # 42

cheema sahib,

..... with all this hoopla over mother's milk, i am starting a wet-nurse business ..... for a hundred dollars a day we will send over a wet-nurse to feed your child three times a day ........ however, we must warn you that there are certain risks involved .... if the child grows up with delusions of grandeur and declares himself to be a prophet, we are not liable ......

I love carrying my child when she is fast asleep, for that a few times her nap is disturbed but I cant help doing that. I hope its not a psychologically bad thing as I want to feel her presence around!

Nice articles, specially catering western society, several theories can be made on humanism of motherhood!

Re: # 43

Hamidm Sahib,

Is it incumbent on us to relieve women from 'mothering' chores? Its quite confusing...Perhaps Cheema ji has an explanation to offer...

If only Masadi had been nursed the natural way, the Evil Elite would not have had the opportunity to add Ginseng in baby Masadi's milk bottle!! Now poor Masadi is perpetually angry after OD'ing on Ginseng-spiked Evil Elite Milk. :-(

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