When a Knock at the Door is Not Enough

Re: # 21

urstruly,

... spoken like a true jihadi ! ...... does this mean that, like ata mohammed, you don't want women at your funeral ???

should be "most will not take the bait".....

I swear by the great gods and goddesses that I really really typed the correct stuff in....

hang on....on second thoughts...urstruly you are saying actually its the case of

Husband torture

and not

wife beating

....man urstruly you need to change your nic....most will take the bait for they know your nic very very well...

Re: # 21 wah, wah kya baat!

Urstruly very very droooooollllll!

Atthe core is an interesting statement/inquiry/question

"why do woman make more successful interrogators?"

the rest is grist for the interact mill of chowk.

But would you care to expand on this issue you so indelicately raised.

Re: # 21

MiaN, everything you attribute to the "wives who get beat up" are also applicable to males - (1) can not control tongue, (2) most annoying creature on the planet, (3) trying to act over-smart, etc.

Why don't the MEN get beat up?!!

The answer is simple, like much else within Pakistan, in the end it is the physical control and domination which wins there. And mullahs like you are active promoters of that mindset!

Most of the wives get beat up beacuse they can't control their tongues. This attribute of women makes them probably the most annoying creature on this planet. This is their realm of excellence where they can easily crush the soul of even some of the most strog willed men. The women usually get beat up when they try o be oversmart and overdo it. I think women should take it slow but steady and it will always work out. In Gestapo and SS most of interrogators were women. In Guantanomo bay and Abu GHraib, women have been quite successful in crushing human souls. They made pyramids of their success there.

Its real and happens everywhere. However, by admitting the preveance I do not mean to condone it.
Well wiritten, thouh ypu could have filled in pieces to make it more informative.

Inge Genefke, Rehabilitation and Research Center for torture Victims (RCT), Copenhagen, states:

“The aim of torture is to destroy a person as a human being, to destroy their identity and soul. It is more evil than murder…. Today we know that survivors of torture can be helped to regain their health and strength, and in helping them we take the weapon from their torturers.”

The smallest step taken in the right direction goes a long way. Great piece, Aisha.


TS

Re: # 17

Dear hamzaad, I already elaborated the (guessed) reasons for the autor writing this piece in #3.

My GUESS is that Ms. Sarwari still carries a lot of guilt for not being able to do more than she did.

But it is easy for individuals like me (and perhaps you) to sit somewhere in a different country and pontificate. Unfortunately, when one runs into the REAL thing, it is a lot less easy.

First, one does not really KNOW the wife-beater. A violent man, if in bad mood enough, would not stop with his wife and would not spare innocent third parties who just happen to walk in by chance (as Ron Goldman unfortunately found out too late!).

Secondly, if you are yourself a woman, you are in a bit of the same weakened position as the victim being beaten up.

Third, if you complain, most people will only provide lip service. They will not do much against the wife-beater. There is a tendency to side with the man, using false logic like "she is no doodh-ki-dhoyee, either" etc. Some of these men may be afraid to do anything lest their own wife gets the "wrong ideas".

Fourth, the mullah will invariably take the man's side and he probably holds considerable sway.

Fifth, the law enforcement mechanism suffers from similar type of bias as most men in the society at large. Even if one finds a farishta law enforcement individual who cares and tries to bring the guilty to task - how the heck he can do without witnesses, evidence, etc. Without those, if he dispenses "justice" he is breaking the law himself, so how does that send a good message?

It is easy to talk about gelding the perpetrator but as most people know...

...human beings are far more complex than horses!

bj,

u r an idiot not to mention thorough chutya. read the quote about who the 'brave' women are supposed to be..

Re: # 14

Urstruly miaN, be candid with us. Did you or didn't you ever raise hands at Mrs. Urstruly?!

Re: # 12

[I pray things change fast.]

Hurricane dear, the problem is too many people are busy "praying" instead of trying to address it - especially the mullahs who makes sure that women stay subservient!

what is this? annual wife beaters week

Re: # 11

There is a certain amount of bravery required in order to stick one's neck out, I have to grant this.

However, in this case, the half-hearted bravery may have been counter-productive.

(1) It proves to the lady being beaten up that she won't get any help even if she TELLS others that she is being beaten up. They will simply nod, say "oh - okay!" and walk away.

(2) The perpetrator (the beating husband) realizes that all he has to do is to keep it a bit down and the lady next door will be cool with it, because after all, she did nothing.

In fairness, it ought to be pointed out that very FEW people would want to get too involved. Most of them are too busy with their own problems.

Aisha,

Your description of what transpired has left me disturbed.

First, it was courageous of you to go knock on the door.

It's sad. In our culture the woman first has to "obey" the father, and brothers and then the husband, and if her lucky streak continues: her sons!.

It must be so hard for her to decide what she can do next. Although it is possible for her to move away, find a job (if she is educated) and start her own life, Pakistan is just a terribly difficult place for something like that.

This husband of her needs to be thrashed soundly. Asshole is acting out cause she's physically smaller than him (I'm guessing).

If this asshole is beating her so loudly that you can hear it on another section, the loud thumps etc, I fear this woman will be killed by this asshole one day. Hopefully her family cares about her and she will reach out to them, and they will take her away. The police is certainly NOT who you'd want to involve.

It is horrible and disturbing, and all too prevalent. I pray things change fast.

First, 'when a knock ON the door is...' is better.

Second..., kaka is confused about whether you lived on the floor above the characters or adjacent to them..

Third..

'One needs to break these walls and protect these brave women to be truly empowered by being mobile'

Why are these women 'brave'? Is lionizing the people you pretend to side with, the only way to feel anything for them? What happens if these women are not 'brave'? Will you still write about them?