When a Knock at the Door is Not Enough

maulana urstruly...

here's another chart

http://www.moe.gov.pk/Enrolment%20by%20Stage,%20Gender%20and%20Location %202005-06T5.pdf

Take at the look at the enrollment numbers at the primary,middle and high school levels. They are disproportionately tilted in favor of males. Then the women catch up.

what that means isn't that your women are doing better...it means that your male students suck..they're dropping out in very high numbers...

Re: # 70
I notice izuber saying quite clearly in his post as following:

This does not justify violence anywhere but read:
http://www.ovw.usdoj.gov/domviolence.htm

I think izuber makes it quite clear here that the rate of violence by those who claim to rigorously scrutinize the records and statistics of other countries and declares them hostile and more to benefit by this virtue are not as clean themselves which includes more than USA itself in addition to other EU countries while the record of women burning in India is overwhelmingly high.
Those who sit in glass castles should be careful about throwing stones at others.
On the other hand you appear to call him a goat head while you seem to be suffering from a denial syndrome.

Just in case you may not be aware following is a glimpse of statistics of female related Battery and Assault in USA and others you may look up to (as of 2003) while it has consistently progressed not curbed:
Violence against Women Statistics
Rape
• Each year, women experience about 4.8 million intimate partner related
physical assaults and rapes. (CDC Intimate Partner Violence Fact Sheet, 2006)
• Nearly 20% of women in New Hampshire say they have been raped.
(NH Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence, University of New Hampshire,
and state authorities, 2007)
• In the U.S. Central Command region, which includes Iraq and Afghanistan,
the number of U.S. servicewomen's reported sexual assaults rose
from 24 in 2002 and 94 in 2003 to 123 in 2004. In the U.S. military overall,
the number of assaults reported by U.S. servicewomen in 2004 increased to
1,275—25% higher than 2003's total, and 41% more than in 2002. (reported
in the Washington Post, May 7, 2005)
• In a survey of women in Seattle's Puget Sound area, 11% said they had
been raped by their partners. (Group Health Center for Health Studies,
Harborview Injury Prevention and Research Center and the University of Washington.
Reported in Seattle Times, May 16, 2006)
• One in six American women has been the victim of an attempted or
completed rape, and 10% of sexual assault victims are men. (2004 National
Crime Victimization Survey)
• Approximately 1.5 million women and 834,700 men are raped and/or
physically assaulted by an intimate partner each year. (CDC “Preventing
Violence Against Women Program Activities Guide”)
• Nearly two-thirds of women who reported being raped, physically
assaulted, or stalked since age 18 were victimized by a current or former
husband, cohabiting partner, boyfriend, or date. (CDC “Preventing
Violence Against Women Program Activities Guide”)
• More than half of all rapes of females occur before age 18, and of
these, 22% occur before age 12. (CDC “Preventing Violence Against Women
Program Activities Guide”)
• According to a report in the American Journal of Industrial Medicine, 28% of
female U.S. veterans reported sexual assault during their careers, with
consistent rates found across eras (Women's eNews, 3/30/03).
Battery/Abuse
• More than 50% of women in New Hampshire state they have
experienced abuse. (NH Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence,
University of New Hampshire, and state authorities, 2007)
• The Attorney General of Iowa has noted an increase to 20 murders from
domestic abuse in 2006, up from 15 in 2005 (KWWL Iowa, April 2007).
• Nearly half of the women surveyed in the Puget Sound area of Seattle
reported that they had been physically, sexually or psychologically abused by
their partners at some point in their adult lives. Thirty percent said they
had been hit. (Group Health Center for Health Studies, Harborview Injury
Prevention and Research Center and the University of Washington. Reported in
Seattle Times, May 16, 2006)
• Nearly three in four family violence victims are female – 73%. (U.S.
Bureau of Justice, June 2005)
• An estimated 5.3 million intimate partner violence (IPV)
victimizations occur among U.S. women ages 18 and older each year,
resulting in nearly 2.0 million injuries, more than 550,000 of which
require medical attention. (“Costs of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women in
the United States,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2003)
• IPV victims lose a total of nearly 8.0 million days of paid work—the
equivalent of more than 32,000 full-time jobs—and nearly 5.6 million days of
household productivity as a result of the violence. (“Costs of Intimate Partner
Violence Against Women in the United States,” Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention, 2003)
• The costs of intimate partner rape, physical assault, and stalking
exceed $5.8 billion each year, nearly $4.1 billion of which is for direct
medical and mental health care services. (“Costs of Intimate Partner Violence
Against Women in the United States,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention,
2003)
• The total costs of IPV include nearly $0.9 billion in lost productivity
from paid work and household chores for victims of nonfatal IPV and $0.9
billion in lifetime earnings lost by victims of IPV homicide. (“Costs of
Intimate Partner Violence Against Women in the United States,” Centers for Disease
Control and Prevention, 2003)
• In Texas, more than 185,000 incidents of domestic violence occurred
during 2003. (Texas governor's office)
• Family violence accounted for 11 to 33% of all violent crime from
1998 to 2002, depending on whether the source was victimization surveys or
police data (U.S. Bureau of Justice).
• Family violence remains under-reported. About two in five incidents were
not reported to police from 1998 to 2002. (U.S. Bureau of Justice)
• Non-fatal intimate partner victimization for females was about four
victimizations per 1,000 persons age 12 and older in 2004, down
from about 10 in 1993. Overall, only 21% of female victims and 10% of
male victims contacted an outside agency for assistance. (Bureau of Justice
Statistics)
• Studies in the U.S., Israel, Canada, Australia, and South Africa found that
40-70% of female murder victims were killed by husbands or
boyfriends. (World Health Organization)

More for your information/read and heed

WWW.opinionasia.org
Violence against women in India
Neeta Lal | 16 Apr 2007

For a country on a dizzying upward economic growth trajectory, India's treatment of its women is abysmal. Dowry deaths, rapes, molestations and a swathe of other crimes against women are commonplace even amongst the socio-economic elite. But what lends this scenario a surreal twist are the shocking findings of the latest National Family Health Survey (NFHS), a pan-India survey conducted by 18 research organisations (including the International Institute for Population Sciences), according to which a whopping 37.2 per cent of married Indian women regularly experience spousal violence.

The latest NFHS, the third in a series since 1992, reports that gender discrimination is rampant in Indian society with boys having better access to education, food and other amenities and girls comparatively being given short shrift. The NFHS database -- conducted on a representative sample of households throughout India --- is designed to strengthen India's demographic and health policies and provide national-level information about infant/child mortality, maternal/child health and the quality of health and family planning services.

The health survey -- which contains disquieting revelations about the iniquitous status of Indian women – also highlights that India trails in a number of health and development indices, with growth benefits not percolating down to the fairer sex even in urban areas. In fact, women's "empowerment" still remains a chimera, with only half of Indian women -- 61.4% urban and 48.5% rural – participating in household decisions.

The survey, for instance, found Bihar (population: about 82 million, literacy rate: 47 per cent, the lowest amongst all Indian states) to be the most retrogressive address for its women, with a whopping 59 per cent of its women facing regular (and often extreme) matrimonial abuse. Intriguingly, 63 per cent of these cases were reported from urban, well-to-do families rather than backward rural ones. Madhya Pradesh --with an abuse rate of 45.8 per cent and Rajasthan and Manipur with 46.3 per cent and 43.9 per cent respectively – came in a notch below Bihar. The survey also reveals that uneducated women were far more likely to have experienced spousal violence than their educated counterparts.

Interestingly, the worst affected women in the survey are in the age band of between 20 to 40 years, though in some cases even those above 50 report regular spousal battery. Shockingly, though the figure of 37 per cent spousal violence is itself high, experts reiterate that the numbers are underreported and could be higher still, somewhere in the realm of 65 per cent.

The sobering findings lends itself to the question -- why does the land of the Mahatma, that has traditionally viewed "stree" (women) as the embodiment of "shakti" (power) -- ill-treat them thus? Perhaps the answer is embedded deep in the national mindset. Indian women, especially the rural folk, have deep-rooted fears about losing their economic support and shelter if they rebel against a violent spouse. There is also a lurking fear of ostracism which makes them put up with abuse as their "destiny". Interestingly, urban women – educated and economically independent – too, suffer spousal violence though in their case, it usually in the interest of progeny that they stay married. By extension, in the predominantly patriarchal Indian society, the stigma of divorce is still a large cross to bear for battered women, as are the responsibilities of single motherhood.

Also, a strong "martyr" image association – and the pathos generated by the suffering underdog – prevent battered Indian women from fleeing abusive situations. The consequences are damning as nearly 74.8 per cent of abused women, report surveys, are propelled towards committing suicide. But even if they are not driven to such extremity, it spousal violence can negatively impact a woman's mental and physical health, triggering off a slew of psychosomatic disorders.

Unfortunately in India, more national economic prosperity has led to a corresponding upward spiral of crimes against women. The National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) reports that from an average of 125 women who faced domestic violence everyday in India in 2000, the number has ratcheted up to 160 in 2005. Also, more than 19 Indian women are killed for dowry everyday, 50 are raped and 480 subjected to molestation and abduction. The Bureau stated that 45 per cent of Indian women are slapped, kicked or beaten by their spouses with India also having the highest rate of violence against women during their pregnancies – nearly 50 per cent women were kicked while expecting babies with nearly 74.8 per cent attempting to commit suicide.

In a recent study of 3,000 women aged 18-50 years conducted by a pan-India NGO - Sangath - in nine villages in Goa, a popular tourist destination in western India, 14.5 per cent women complained of having an abnormal vaginal discharge due to verbal, physical and sexual violence and psychosocial distress. Depression and anxiety were common complaints amongst these women. Women who complained of vaginal discharge also reported that due to stress, they had meager interest in their daily lives.

According to a recent World Health Organisation (WHO) report, one in six women around the world suffer from domestic violence. Based on a survey of 24,000 women from rural and urban areas in 10 countries, the report noted that female victims of domestic assault were twice as likely to suffer poor health than other women. This kind of abuse was also responsible for the spread of HIV amongst women, as abused women were not in a position to demand safe sex.

A 2005 WHO publication 'Addressing Violence Against Women and Achieving the Millennium Development Goals' defines violence against women along four identifiable acts. These are physical violence (slapping, pushing, choking, burning, threatening with a weapon); sexual violence (forced sex or degrading sexual acts); emotional violence and finally, intimate-partner violence (specifically, domestic violence). The last, says the study, is the most common and universal form of violence experienced by women.

The WHO recommends that prevention of violence should be integrated into health care programs. Indeed there is an urgent need for reproductive health programs to acknowledge the role of gender-based violence and psychosocial distress in addressing the reproductive health needs of women. But health professionals themselves need training to detect victims of such violence and extend psychological counseling to them. This would certainly be a good start as grassroots activists and healthcare volunteers - who work closely with India's victims of spousal violence and hospital personnel handling their cases - report that hospital staff, including doctors, often do not perceive domestic violence as a "health issue" but rather as a "private family matter". Hence, scarcely, if at all, are they willing to go beyond their formulaic role of providing medicine to physically battered women.

However, in a belated but welcome move, the Indian Parliament has, for the first time ever, passed the path-breaking - Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act this year. The Act defines "domestic violence" as all forms of abuse -- physical, sexual, verbal, emotional and economic. Physical violence is defined as "beating, pushing, shoving and inflicting pain" while sexual violence covers a slew of offences such as "forced sex, forced exposure to pornographic material or any sexual act with minors".

The Act also seeks to offer women victims civil remedies hitherto unavailable to them. Until recently, Indian women could only seek recourse in Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code (IPC) to file a complaint against an abusive spouse (which did not give the woman the right, for instance, to stay on in her matrimonial home or to demand maintenance from the abusive partner), the new law now provides her with a civil panacea. The Act also lays down stringent rules to prosecute men who harass/beat/insult their spouses. Partner abuse can now land a man in jail for one year or a fine up to Rs.20,000 (about US$470) or both.

But while the Act, a landmark legislation no doubt, augurs well for human rights, there is skepticism that it may offer little succor to the rural poor (70 per cent of India's populace) who do not place much trust in such laws in any case. In fact, to many illiterate Indian women, "human rights" legislations challenge the well-entrenched notions of individual and community identity. Another fear is that the Act – despite the current ballyhoo swirling around it – may well remain a paper tiger as India has the most abysmal rate of conviction in spite of possessing the world's most exhaustive and complex set of laws. Small wonder, since its passage in January, only one conviction has taken place under the Domestic Violence Act.

So where really does the solution lie to the malaise of spousal violence lie? In quick punitive action against the barbaric male who batters his wife/partner? In enlightening women victims to not suffer in silence and speak up against their injustice? Or with the police/courts who ought to catalyse the delivery of justice? Indeed, the solution is multi-dimensional. In the meantime, the Domestic Violence Act definitely kindles hope by bringing this important issue from the periphery of people's consciousness to the center of national development discourse.
Neeta Lal is an Indian columnist whose pieces appear in 21 national and international publications that include The India Today Group, The Times of India and The Indian Express.

=================================================================



The prevalence of domestic violence, sexual violence and trafficking for sex Violence against women takes many forms.
Domestic violence (physical, sexual, physiological), rape and sexual abuse are worldwide phenomena. Other forms of VAW,
such as sex trafficking and harmful traditional practices, may be specific to particular geographic areas (Watts & Zimmerman 2001).
Women all over the world experience physical violence from intimate partners. For example, 16% of Cambodian women (Nelson
and Zimmerman, 1996) are physically abused by their spouse. In an UK study (Mooney 1993), 30% of women were physically assaulted by partner or ex partner. In West Bank and Gaza Strip (Haj-Yahia 1998), 48% of currently partnered women experienced assault by an intimate partner in past 12 months.
Although limited, the existing evidence indicates that many women are forced or coerced to have sex. Young girls and women are the most vulnerable. Increasing evidence is available of the extent to which girls’ first sex is unwanted or forced. In New Zealand, a study (Dickson et al 1998) on 548 women aged 20-22, found 25% of those who had first intercourse before the age 13, reported it was forced.
In Canada (Randall & Haskell 1995), 17.8% of women reported sexual abuse (rape or attempted rape) before the age of 16.
A study in India reports 26% of 133 postgraduate students were sexually abused by the age 12.
In Kingston, Jamaica (Walker et al 1994), 13% of 452 schools girls aged 13-14 reported attempted rape, and an additional 4% reported completed rape.
Although prevalence data on forced prostitution and trafficking for sex are scarce, it appears to be a growing problem.Women and children are trafficked within, and between countries, particularly in Asia and increasingly
in Eastern and Central Europe and North America are large importers, e. g., an estimated 500 000 persons were trafficked into Europe in

Presenter: Dr C.Watts,
London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, UK,
Based on: Violence against women: its importance for HIV/AIDS
C. García-Moreno, and C. Watts 2000, AIDS , 14(suppl. 3): S253-S265


nothing justifies violence and battery of another human be it a man or woman or even a minor, nothing justifies violence anywhere in the world while nothing justifies use of such statistics in the international political arena if one is sincere to abolish violation of basic human rights of everyone regardless of their nationality, faith, gender or any other aspect, while having gone through this forum it exemplifies the methods used by some commentators in abusing others while this itself batters the primary purpose of this thread in as much as I understand it

#59 Posted by Urstruly re #37 (Urstruly, Did Prophet Mohammad ever roughed up his wives? If not, why not?)

I am glad you'd asked. Holy Prophet (pbuh) has set a very high standard for the rest of humanity viz a viz women.

While your answer is commendable - even though the questioner does not really seek an answer - a specific instance can be quoted in categorically replying "No he did not. Not under any circumstances".

Quote: (witness-pioneer.org/vil/Articles/companion/10_umar_bin_al_khattab.htm)

Um ar felt that while in Mecca the Quraishites dominated over their women, in Madina things had changed, and the women asserted themselves. One day Umar was cross with his wife on some matter, but instead of being quiet she retorted, "How is it that you feel annoyed at my remonstrance. Go and see that the wives of the Holy Prophet remonstrate with the Holy Prophet. Tonight one of his wives quarreled with him all the night."

Hearing this, Umar went to his daughter Hafsa and enquired of her whether she had quarreled with the Holy Prophet. She said that she had quarreled with the Holy Prophet as she had a grievance. Thereupon Umar said, "Hafsa you are incurring loss. Don't you know by annoying the Holy Prophet you invite the wrath of God." After reprimanding her in severe terms, Umar returned home.

At night, the Ansari neighbor of Umar knocked at his door, and as Umar went to see what was the matter, his friend told him that something very grave had happened. Umar thought that perhaps Banu Ghassan whose attack was expected had invaded Madina. Umar enquired whether Banu Ghassan had launched the attack. Banu Umaya said, "No. Something more serious than that has happened". When Umar pressed him to tell what had happened he said that the Holy Prophet had divorced his wives.

Umar was very much upset at the news. He spent the whole night in prayer. Early in the morning next day, Umar went to Hafsa. He found her weeping. He enquired of her whether the Holy Prophet had divorced her. She said that she did not know. Umar rebuked her saying. "Did I not warn you before hand that by annoying the Holy Prophet you would be inviting trouble?" Thereupon Hafsa burst into violent sobs. Umar left her weeping and went to the Prophet's Mosque. There the people were sitting in groups here and there and were lamenting that the Holy Prophet had divorced his wives.

The Holy Prophet was in the cell attached to the Mosque. Umar went to the cell, and asked the slave at the door to seek the Holy Prophet's permission to his admittance. The slave returned to say that he had sought the requisite permission from the Holy Prophet but he had kept quiet.

Umar returned to the main hall of the Mosque, and sat in a corner in a dejected mood. After some time he rose and went again to the ceil of the Holy Prophet. Once again he requested the slave to get permission for his admittance. The slave returned to say that the Holy Prophet had made no reply.

Umar returned once again to the main hall of the Mosque. He was highly upset and he prayed to God for mercy. Then once again he went to the cell of the Holy Prophet. This time he was allowed permission. Entering the cell, Umar said:

"O Messenger of God, I have not come to plead for Hafsa. If that is your pleasure I would wring her neck with my own hands."

That softened the Holy Prophet and he smiled at the words of Umar.

Umar further said, "I find that in Mecca our ladies were docile; the climate of Madina has made them assertive. O Prophet of God if because of the impudence of your wives, you have divorced them, God, His angels, and all your followers are with you."

The Holy Prophet smiled and said, "Be assured, I have not divorced my wives. I have only decided to remain separate from them for a period of one month."

"Then may I tell so to Hafsa", said Umar.

The Holy Prophet said. "You may, if you like".

Umar cast a glance across the room. The Holy Prophet lay on a bare mat. There was no furniture in the room. There was hardly anything for the Holy Prophet to eat, but a barley bread. Seeing this extreme state of austerity, tears began to trickle from the eyes of Umar.

Unquote:

The questions which need to be asked are:

1) Why did women become more assertive in Medina while they were docile in Mecca at the dawn of Islam?

2) Why did Muhammad choose to leave home and sleep on the floor in the mosque instead of retaliating and prevailing upon his wife's quarreling all night?

But no, these people will not ask these questions. Misogyny rooted in religious tradition is a nice and fashionable concept. That's sufficient to believe.

For some strange reason chowk staff banned me to post for 24 hours, for a post that I wrote last year; that was way before national reconciliation order was issued.

Re: # 101

What is there to question? You have some screwed up sense of values. A man who suffers thru a whole night of querrel from his wife, steps out of his house, to give her some space and clear his head, and you call him the mysogenist for that? This one probably tops all the screws we come across.

maulana urstruly: time to take a refresher course in basic math...the whole percentages thing...

Re: # 104

no this is somethimng I do to hindus and mirzais to get the truth out of them. Now take your own statistics and you will see that you were nothing but a pathetic hindutva hatemonger. Your own statitics negate your propaganda.

#105 Posted by Urstruly on May 12, 2008 8:12:18 pm


maulana urstruly...it's ok..you're numerically challenged..you can't calculate percentages from your own numbers..maybe the whole percentages thing is an evil zionist invention to humiliate the momin...

let me walk you through the basics..in terms you'll understand...If India has 3 parts of Kashmir and PAkistan has 1 part, India has 75% and Pakistan has 25%..

now, for your homework, calculate the percentages from YOUR own statistics...

Good grief Charlie Brown! Har aik baat ko India vs. Pakistan or Islam vs. the rest of the world karnay se kabhi aap log tang nahiN aatay?

Aisha wrote an article more specific to where she is right now. There's no need to prove via statistics, articles or our holy books, that violence exists against women. It happens everywhere. Women in the US still march every year to "take back the night". You mard log take this opportunity again to abuse one another, and reduce the topic to your own bakwaas.

Vah!

#103 Posted by Urstruly,

I'm sure this post is the result of some mis-reading of my #101.

....whenever we go to a certain part of canada, we are invited by my wife's ex-college roommates to stay with them, in a house where two, out of the three, of them still live.....

they are about as, "independent" as one could assume any woman to be......intimidatingly independent......multiple boyfriends, living alone since 18......jobs.....no money needed from anywhere......educated.....politically active....excellent knowledge of laws.....

i always felt out of place.......the two of us.. innocently, communicating with two women who seen everything.......

.....one day i was discussing this with my wife, and she told me that these two roommates had told her that they used to have the crap beat out of them by their boyfriends......

wife-abuse is one thing.....one is in a family, which is difficult to leave........but being beaten by boyfriends is something that is in another league.....and that in a country where one would think women had all the rights.....

......having heard all such stories.....i still think pakistani men - at least the ones who have had some exposure - are still relatively good husbands.......

if you don't believe me, ask all the married ladies, on chowk, about their husbands......

#109 by bulleya

......having heard all such stories.....i still think pakistani men - at least the ones who have had some exposure - are still relatively good husbands.......

Whenever I went to a certain part of Canada where a certain Paki airforce ex-employee landed after being kicked out by his employers, I used to stay with him. He used to be so badly bashed up by his wife that it was difficult to believe that in this day and age, men can be so meek and submissive. If it had happened in Pakistan, it wouldn't be so hard for me to believe. So what if this guy had to bend over backwards at home? At least outside it, he could pretend that he was a real macho man and since Pakistan is such a male-dominated society, no one would even suspect the horror that was going on inside the four walls of his home, kinda like Josef Fritzl led a normal life even though he had confined his daughter to a dungeon in his basement.

After I saw this incident, I think Indian men are lucky, so what if they're nagged incessantly by their wives/girlfriends? At least they don't get beaten up like my friend used to.

Re: # 108 zeemax
If you wrote # 101, then the last three sentences were not phrased very well; and lead to unintended implications.

#111 Posted by Urstruly,

I'ld be grateful for you to re-write those lines. I thought the questions identified point to a very significant answer.