Speechless

raat bhur jaaGtay rehtay haiN duukaanoaN kay charagh
dil voh suunsaan jazeera, kay bujhha rehta hai
laikin iss bUnd jazeeray kay kisi goashay meiN
zaat kaa baab-i talismaat khuulaa rehtaa hai
Upnee hee zaat meiN pUstee kay khanDar miltay haiN
Upnee hee zaat meiN ik koh-inida rehtaa hai
sirf iss koh kay daaman meiN mayaasar hai nijaat
aadmi vrnaa Unaasir meiN ghiraa rehtaa hai

aur jUb in say bhhee ghabraa kay Uuthata hai nazar
Upnay Allah ki, aur Upnay khuuda kee jaanib

Ayya-al naas! Chalo kohi-nidaa ki jaanib


P.S: your soliloquay is getting scarier by the day. Ironically, Your muse is your biggest nemesis as well.

Voh afsana jisay anjaam tUk laana naa ho mumkin
Usay ik khoobsoorat moarR dai kar chhorRna achchaa.

Might sound a bit cruel, but I'm being so to be kind. Pls. understand and appreciate.

Amber, your speechlessness is well earned. You have said all that was to be said. Time to move on. And be at peace. Then new words will come.

Best.

stunning! i hope its a dream.

Re: # 1
Bohot khoobsoorat nazm hai. Acchi lagi. Sab sey pehley to yeh ke aap ki baat ka bura mana nahin jaa sakta aur mein aap sey mutaffik hun iss maumley mein keh jis afsaney ka koi anjaam na ho usko kisi haseen mor per chor daina chahiye.
And yes, my muse needs new inspiration. Unfortunately, my mind is still playing with sour feelings. Hopefully soon enough the "happy times" will affect my flow of thoughts as well.
Aap parhtey rahein to mujh mein likhney ka hosla baki rahey ga. Thanks for sharing.
regards,
A

wowwwwwwwwwwww...super!...
u hav described the agony n numbness so beautifully that it is romantic within itself....great..

Dear write;

A very good insight into women's parodox of emotion in a relationship and man's inabilty to understand it.But from a litrary point of view there was a very poor transition from symbolic expression to a narration.

After 2-3 paragraphs it sounds more like a "teen aurtain teen kahanian" kinda thing than a symbolic expression of emotions.

Be well.

Thank you for reading Eklavya, Banjara and Tabo. The fact that you took some time to share your views makes a world of difference.
Regards,
A

very well written but monologue format can not etch out distinct characters,you have to adopt dialogue format

It's hard to explain human desires. Just follow your heart and look for satisfaction in whatever it is that you do.

sorrow prepares you for joy.it violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter.it shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh green leaves can grow in their place.it pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow.whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.
.....so this end, in it veils a new dawn......

Pain is a treasure for it contains mercies;
the kernel is soft when the rind is scraped off,
the place of darkness and cold
is the fountain of Life and the Cup of Ecstasy
so also is endurance of pain and sickness and disease
for from abasement proceeds exaltation,
the spring seasons are hidden in the autumns
and the autumns are charged with springs

so cheer up, dear writer :))
prepare ur self for even innovative daybreak

A beautiful write-up laced with touching and flowing expression.

Re: # 8
Dear Sunil,
I am still working on my strength in etching characters but i had to share the thought so chose the monologue format...more of a soliloquy. It kind of leaves room to embed thoughts and feelings with the narration. But really appreciate the tip.
Regards,
A

Re: # 9
I agree human desires are very hard to understand and reason with. The quote comes to mind "There are two tragedies in life, one is not to get your heart's desire and the other is to get it" I guess one is never satisfied either way. So it must be peace that we are looking for and not happiness.

Thanks for sharing.

Re: # 11, 12 & 13
Beautiful verses Ali. Love the flow and the thought content. Rumi is rumi. eloquent and wise.

Re : #13
Thanks for the comliments Delirium.