The Stranger

a full-blooded....

And Mrs. Nida Maqsud, my reply actually became an full-blooded I-log!

NB, Fouz (Fauzan/Fauzia), Rhyming Reason,

I'll answer your posts later, but first I need to brush my teeth.

wow, so many comments. i'm honored (thank you, bjkumar) and dumbfounded (tahir, parthaab) all at the same time. i'm also having a hard time keeping track of who's quarreling with who, and to whom my responses should be addressed.

i'd be happy to send a link of my story and all the ensuing comments to my father, brothers, and husband. My father, i'm guessing, would be proud of me for trying to portray a woman's unhappiness so honestly and without fear of (male) censorship. by the way, i would like to state at this point, my dear tahir, that i am not the one who's had your comments red-flagged. i would never do that. i do not believe in censorship; so perhaps, on that account, we are on the same page.

moving along, my brothers might cringe at the story, their level of modesty and humility being far greater than mine. but despite their response, they know i am a self-assured (Muslim, if you must know, not that it should matter) grown woman, who doesn't need their approval/disapproval to make decisions, although i certainly respect them dearly.

and my husband has already read the story and most of these comments, and has asked me in his gallant way if i want him to give anyone a sound verbal thrashing, but i politely declined. i don't need anyone to fight my battles. and, the way i see it, it's not really a battle but a difference of opinion.

my only question is why tahir and parthaab feel so threatened by women such as myself and fouz and nb (and i'm sorry i can't remember everyone's names/positions). if you don't like the look of us or our work, then feel free to disengage with us, or as the Quran states, "lower your gaze".

if for only one moment, you would forget about your hang-ups, read the story, and try to imagine what it must be like for a woman (or man, for that matter) to endure a mental illness like depression in a country like pakistan, i would be ever so grateful. the story is not about women's rights or men's rights, but about people suffering. and by sharing my work of fiction, i was hoping to raise the reader's level of empathy, so they would be able to put themselves in another's shoes. it seems to me, in general, that kind of humanity, or willingness to engage in such empathetic gestures, is lacking thesedays, and has led to the creation of the bush's and bin laden's of today.

Beautiful piece. I loved it. Keep writing.

Some of the problems faced by the main character are clearly common hallmarks of most patriarchal societies. The long-term solution is the economic empowerment of women and ensuring that they have an equal or comparable role in earning and (as would follow) in all decision-making. A bit of companionship with other women to share thoughts and feelings (which are generally more important to women than to men) and to empathize with and (as the last resort) some counseling would not hurt, either.

Tahir Sahab, I continually strive to see (sometimes I am not so successful)people just as people and not what my own myopia about THEIR religion tells me. Besides, bitching ad-nauseum about gender differences should mellow down with age: its appropriate though for the teen years, something that you and I have both left far behind :)So the Kausar begum reference was about going WOW! What a woman! In the context to which this comment was made, you may see a hint of poorly disguised irony as well, what with a MUSLIM and a WOMAN blah blah blah. I am sure if it was Frau Julianna or Mdm Pompadour, I would have made the same remark; and it would have gone un-noticed.

In short, Tahir, you're clueless. You could have just said that.
I thought there were satisfaction surveys available. Never mind.

Re: # 64
"Nida, I see Tahir is spamming your board. Maybe I should have ignored him."

Yes Miss Maqsud, please do something other than red-flagging me repeatedly.

This is where MEN of the family come in handy to beat up on intruders.

Re: # 63
Sister NB,

"it gives you jollies arguing with me."

Why must I derive any questionable pleasure from something that's my duty?

"As for circumcision, you are welcome to your opinion."

Thanks heaven for letting me remain as I am. I thought you'd recommend a good surgeon for reconstructive surgery!

"How do you how satisfied women are, how many have you asked?"

Those are very dangerous grounds you're treading on NB. Don't even think of firing your gun while resting the barrel over my oily shoulders. Chowqies (you being an exception, of course) have absolutely no interest in my personal life.

"What do love and sex have to do with this? And don't give me advice, you don't have to take my theka."

A fantastic software allows me to determine whose 'theka' I must take or reject. Sorry, it's not available in the market.

"BTW, I await your quoting the verses of the Koran that make you Nida's censor."

Let Miss Maqsud ask or answer unless she's sulking after being reprimanded by daddy dear. And if she asks politely, I'll quote the relevant verse of the Book she has no clue about.

Fondest regards.

Nida, I see Tahir is spamming your board. Maybe I should have ignored him.

#61, Tahir, either you can't or won't read. See Parthaab's mention of circumcision in his post. He lit the fire, I merely pointed out it was inappropriate here. But of course you won't argue with him, it gives you jollies arguing with me. As for circumcision, you are welcome to your opinion.
How do you how satisfied women are, how many have you asked?

What do love and sex have to do with this? And don't give me advice, you don't have to take my theka. BTW, I await your quoting the verses of the Koran that make you Nida's censor.

Re: # 49
"should male chowkies get their interacts and ilogs approved by their mothers, wives and sisters?"

Although that is not divinely sanctioned but males ought to practise self-censorship. My own work is readily accessible to friends and family, and that's why I never abuse or use vulgar language (although some here do that to me while falsely believing it to be manliness).

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Re: # 42
"a raging islamist..."

I have my thinking buffalo standards. Every red rag is not worth chasing after.

Re: # 57
"Mad is sex-starved? Erm....okay, Sigmund! But why do you have it on the brain?"

Only real men know the veiled definitions. So I'm Sigmund FRAUD now? What quick topic changes! I dislike him intensely for linking everything with sex and childhood. Look, you're making the Chowq ladies laugh unnecessarily!

The starved Taliban never have anything except death and destruction on their minds (Sade: "Pain is pleasure"), true momins don't salivate thinking about Jannah, but half-Muslims prefer reading and appreciating junk to get all worked up for nothing.

There's life beyond preaching.

Enough NB?