Too Good To Be True

Re: # 78

tehsin you miserable fool!

..... you know and i know that the only reason to get married is so that you can have legal sex (or, in your case, any sex) ........... so cut out the bs!

..... as for successful men and marriage - they don't go together ...... powerful men are egomaniacs who can get all the women they want and they do ....... abraham, mohammad, king saud, jack kennedy, osama, and all the ceos's other than geaky bill gates .who might surprise us yet once melinda puts on thirty pounds .... ............ even sam walton had a mistress and was known to diddle his cashiers !

........ most ceo's that i know of - and i know quite a few - are letches who go through more 'trophy wives' than you go through underwear

ever heard of "jack the zipper" welch, al "chainsaw" dunlap, ron perlemen the bond king with monica lewinsky ties, dennis kozlowski of tyco, michael jordan of pepsico ............ and the list goes on and on ........ the only exceptioins are larry ellison of oracle and richard branson of virgin who are still single and surrounded by beautiful women ....... all men want to live like mohammed and hugh heffner .... those of us who can't get married ...........

Abee, I really enjoyed your article, it is sincere, from the heart and expresses an emotion that is perhaps the finest that any consciousness can express. But as soon as you do and as is evident from the ensuing discussion here the differences in feelings about love from a male and a female perspective come to the fore. I wrote something on marriage a while back which may answer some of the comments posed, if you could persevere through the long post.

MARRIAGE


As he walked the bride to the car door her Dad uttered this parting advice. “Jao beta! Jao aur hur din upnay shauhar ka dil jeeto.� (Go my dear! Spend each day of the rest of your life earning the love of your husband). These words still resonate with me even after a decade. To me, nothing could be nobler then a woman who makes it her mission in life to be most precious to her husband. She should become what ever he wants her to be. She should doll herself up to be the prettiest, most glamorous, show stopper if that is his desire. The care giver, an anticipator of all his needs, the one who makes his every whim her command and the one who he cant do without. He should feel to be the luckiest man alive, the one who’s every wish and desire are fulfilled because of having her. When he is in her presence he feels fulfilled and cannot wait to get back to her from work. She should be a model of all feminine virtue.

Now let us see in a similar circumstance who should be an ideal groom. He should make this oath “agar tu mill jaey tau mein teray liyay tau aasman say taray bhi torr laon�. In other words he should make an oath to spend the rest of his life earning the world for her – bringing it home to her. He should feel himself so lucky to have her that all he wants to do is to make her happy, bring her presents and provide her with every luxury imaginable. Honey! Look what I brought you. What ever she wishes or desires, she shouldn’t even have to express it before he fulfills it.

Looking at the most triumphant people in America whether presidents or CEOs of major firms one finds that a great number married their high school sweet hearts and those ended up being the most successful ones . In high school the social hierarchy is fairly uncomplicated. The high school football captain usually ends up with the home coming queen. These or similar situations end up becoming permanent liaisons. Is there any great understanding, similarities, career goals, etc. between the football star or the home coming queen? Not really. They are not even sure as to which way is up let alone have a chart for the rest of their lives. So it is not compatibility, similarities etc. Instead both sides are representing male and female virtue at its finest. She is the most beautiful, sweet, accomplished, well liked person in the grade. He represents male virtue being the bravest, a leader, smart, responsible, the one who will get things done. So their spheres are entirely different but when they intertwine they make a perfect whole.

Modern life has some how blurred these lines and have confused us. You don’t need a full time home maker to cook and clean. Routine chores are easy enough that you don’t have to slave away at them. The necessity of two incomes to run a household and all the venues open to find fulfillment outside the home have altered the balance. Till you have children home is nothing more then a place that you crash for the night. It is only when you have kids that it starts gaining importance. Suddenly terms like home, homemaker, care giver etc. have to be confronted.

Despite our progress the spheres continue to remain the same and we are well advised not to meddle with them. A woman’s sphere is the household, but more importantly she has to make her husband her universe. It is just like the universe within. The external universe is the responsibility of the husband. It is his job to bring this external universe to the internal one. Both the universes are connected and dependent on each other and have their own responsibilities. In certain ways they are equal and in fact equally important, but it is easy to see that the external one is larger then the one within and requires greater effort and responsibility. It is here where the Quranic Ayahs provide precise guidance, which sometimes is objected to by the “equal rights for women� crowd.

2:228, And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; but men have a degree (of advantage) over them.

4:34, Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other.

If prostration were a legitimate act other than to God, woman should have prostrated to her husband. (TR. P 428)

I only wish that I had a few on the other side illuminating responsibilities of men who should be carrying the bigger burden which is implied.

Re: # 73
Abee,
You can't get married unless you improve your spellings!

"exiting everyday'

It should have been EXCITING!

I accept the yet to be printed invitation. Please understand that I only cater to Eastern wedding ceremonies where ONLY the groom gets to implant some saliva on the bride's cheeks--and that too with mommy dear's permission--and the famished 'baratris' stuff themselves with 'pullao-zarda' instead of throwing the edible commodity over the couple.

Full Siphar's anxious attempt to grab the Milky Way now leaves me with only one choice: I can only volunteer for 'baag phaRai' if the groom appears mounted over a steady horse wearing half a dozen 'imam zamins' over his left arm.

Bookings are open!

Re: # 74
Full Siphar,

I'm 899 mice away from performing the mandatory ritual, hence prematurely addressing me as 'al-haaj' will not move my tail.

"...NISWAAR fetish,how many "NISWANIAT se bharpoor" would have been flogged over there?"

Flogging is spiritual SM for the hillian folks.

"well..that's a bit of News for leenah."

What are you trying to say, say it CLEARLY? (Leenah did you hear that?)

Pyar baNtay chalo....

Re: # 73 Abee

ji zaroor kiyon nahin.Aap joota "PIllaee" rasam ke liye Tahir aur un ke friends ko dawat nama bhijwa dijiye ga.jaisay ke unho ne khud bataye hai ke un ke gals college ke baahir joota pillaee ko "negotiate" kernay ka un ke ahbaab ko kitna tajarba hai.

Albata mujhe aap doodh CHupaaee ke liye bulaa sakti hain.mein jaanta hoon ke biliyon se doodh kaisay aur kahan chupaya jaata hai.

Re: # 71 Alhaaj Tahir-ul-Niswaari

Ladies plz don't read this post.

(((Are you serious? A friend from the disturbed areas wants quite the contrary: NISWAARIAT se bharpoor zauja! How can I cure these NISWAAR-khors?)))

Amaan Yaar...see the NISWAARI side of the picture.Just imagine..Had they not been into this "NISWAAR" fetish,how many "NISWANIAT se bharpoor" would have been flogged over there?

((((I'm not friendless, you know))))

well..that's a bit of News for leenah.

(((Yet another friend gave up living a life filled with fantasies the day he got a cruel 'phanty-sy' outside Lahore College For Women's gate!)))

well..i have got no problem in believing that u have got a good "company" out there.

waalykum-ul-Double:)

Re: tahir n philosopher,
Oh my God guys! hahahaha
The posts get more and more enriched and exiting everyday. Ab to wakehi shaadi kerni parrey gi aur poorey chowk walon ko invitation daina parrey ga. Werna eik eham event kam ho jaye ga Lahore mein! Inshallah will tie the "dreaded" knot sometime this year. and of course you guys are welcome provided you help us negotiate the joota chupaii and doodh pilaii. i'm sure you guys will win us half a million dollars or more:)
lolz
A

Re: # 69

All I was doing was holding the umbrella..ella..ella..ooh..aah..ohhhh...

So, :P means tongue out, or after a joke!

Sorry, but Abee doesn't believe in just emoticons!

Re: # 70
Filloso Fur-Fur,

Hellelujah! I've deciphered your 'mukammal' Lashkar language post with great 'tahammul' without disturbing the spirits of any of the dead literary giants.

"niswaniat se bharpoor zauja"

Are you serious? A friend from the disturbed areas wants quite the contrary: NISWAARIAT se bharpoor zauja! How can I cure these NISWAAR-khors?

Yet another friend (I'm not friendless, you know) gave up living a life filled with fantasies the day he got a cruel 'phanty-sy' outside Lahore College For Women's gate!

Double :)

Re: # 67 Haaji Tahir sahib

Mien urdu mein jawab doon ga kiyon ke mein aap ke spelling errors nikalanay ke qaher ka muthamil nahin ho sakoon ga.kiyon ke kaafo mudaat huay chowk per mein aik mubahissa sirf aur sirf is bunyaad per haar chuka hoon ke meray posts mein bohat see spelling errors thin.

aur waisay bhee mein aaj tak "Cenosr" ko "Censor" likhnay kee GHALTI tau kerta hee aaya hoon.isliyee "Cenosr" parhanay ke baad himat nahin paree ke english mein haal-e-takhayol bayaan karoon.

tau hazorr baat ye hai, ke fantasies mein main aik achha rouhaani humsafar(soulmate) bananay kee tayaari kerta hoon.kiyon ke sitmay zamana aur apnay honay waalay FIL kee FIL_osophy se adam dilchaspee bulkay karahat kee waja se abhee tak kanwaara hoon, tau isee haqeeqat ke bawasaf aik achee ghairaloo zindagee ke khawb daikhta hoon jis mein aik niswaniat se bharpoor zauja aur FIL-osophy daunon bayaqwaqt mujhe zehni aur rouhaani sakoon pohchatay hon.Aur meri tehqeeqay naaqis ke mutabiq ikhlaaqi aur nafsiaati hawalay se is mein koi buraayee nahin.ya hai?

lol,
6 consecutive posts and you not under the umbrella? :P

How conveniently all the poets (unformed and half-formed) and all the 'parwanas' (make that 'bhoond ashiqs') stand under one umbrella..ella..ella..ooh..aah..ohhhh...

Abee, don't forget to post an invitation on Chowq when the day (make that, night) comes!

:)

Re: # 46
"....mein ne fantasies mein kaafi tayaree kee huyee hai."

This is the Cenosr again; please explain what you mean by THAT comment? Yes THAT!

Re: # 37
"I pray that may this be the end of a long and tedious search."

Which search engine (in-jun) did you use?

Re: # 30
Regards,

Despite my sincere attempt, you never responded at: http://www.chowk.com/ilogs/71849/30139

Why?

"Why!!! That must be God's sura in Quran!!"

Nope!

:)

Re: # 14
"A woman in our world, never proposes to the man. It is 95% the other way around ( inspite of whatever chowk wants us to believe ). If she does, it has to either be that she is not really that beautiful, or has some other reason why men would not want to live with her. Either that, or he is from some stinking rich family!"

You do have a point which may have been noted by those who wish to benefit!

:)

:)