Good Girls and Bad Postures

This is SUPER COOL!

Thank God and I should thank you for not being a sheep.

GO! GO! GO! You`ll bash `em all...!

Bilal

brilliant article but a few points.

in a family full of women, a young boy will feel as much ashamed of the way his organ behaves early in the morning, albeit unwillingly. he will stay in bed for as long as it takes.

in certain advertising offices in karachi, with women bosses and lots of female employees, dressed up to meet international standards, u will have guys who sit with legs crossed, speak politely and keep there distance while the women come on too strongly.

the shame young women feel bcoz of the way men`s eyes scan them in public wud be and is easily reciprocated in a situation where women are more in number and more powerful. interest in the opposite gender`s body is natural but to do it openly or shamelessly is a trait that will come with social dominance.

and bcoz most places in the world including pakistan are male dominated, all ills have to be their doing.

excellent piece....well written. by the was ur mother really that harsh on you ? :)
cheers
raza

Good article...Its about time that girls in our culture are made to feel proud of their bodies & not the other way around. I hope young parents get to read this article.

an excellent article! i commend the writer on her courage to talk so freely about a dilemma that every girl goes through...it is time atleast the upcoming mothers learn that they r to teach their daughters to be proud of their bodies and not ashamed of their sexuality! ofcourse that is not to say that they should flaunt it in public but they should stop feeling embarrassed about their bodies and learn to love them..after all, men do, so y cant women?

Jiyo- Bad Girl!

We need bold Pakistani women to come out and be confident of their bodies and their sexuality.

I salute you.

In the winter of 1997 on a particularly boring day at work someone sent me a link to this article. I had no idea what chowk was till then but I realized after reading this piece that I would be hooked. I read this article/memoir by bad girl, which still strikes a chord, still rings true, almost seven years later. So well written, such mastery over the language, bad girl why don`t you write on here any more?

Jawahara

I don`t know about you guys but I have started to believe in evolution. The girls in our family are born slouching and we all accept them as they are. May be years of preaching by our ancestors has built it in their genes.

However, to put the record straight, havent seen this preaching recently. I have seen so many up-standing, chest jumping, and hip swaying girls recently in other families` weddings and parties, I think times have changed. people have accepted the changes that are taking place. We, however, come to expect it.

I only go to those Mehndi`s where I know there will be a lot of hip swaying dances by family women (I mean the other families). Mine is still the conservative type.

The slouching, embarassed girls are only found in Khwateen Digest and the like magazines where this girl who is simple and does not actively participates in the function turns out to be the cinderella winning the heart of the prospective mother in law and her son. All the beauty and hip swaying efforts of the other girls go waste.

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You go Bad Girl! V. Good! *pat pat*
After reading this essay and the subsequent posts that followed, one phrase instantaneously entered my mind...Neil Armstrong saying one small step for man, a gigantic leap for mankind.

Bad Girl,

Brilliant.

...esp:``a museum for social morality`` . Look forward to reading more of your work!

Dear BG,

When i first read the piece, i loved it, and its still one of my all time favorite essays on Chowk. Now i miss reading your stuff since its been quite a while since you wrote anything for Chowk.

Hope you`ll write again!

Sincerely,

OMAR MIRZA

i have just finished reading ``Good Girls and Bad Postures`` and it`s very depressing to know about the way Paksitani women suffer

mentally,emotionally and physically at the of Pakistani society. i hope that we, Men in particular, realize the importance of women as human beings,give them

equal standing in the society and stop considering them a sexual object.

fahd ali

A great article. I was raised in Karachi and have been close to a lot of girls in that situation. I am a guy but know exactly the ``AMMI GLARE`` mentioned in the article. I noticed girls changing their attention and enthusiasm while talking to me as their ``ammi`` would give them a look. I am waiting for the day when everybody, including all men and women, are proud of their bodies and their endowments. It`s a gift from Allah to have a nice body and to be proud of it should be our goal. I think girls as well as boys in Pakistan should be openly told about their adolscent changes. They should be helped in dealing with them and dealing with situations created, maybe say, by developing breasts. I can say that the majority (not generalizing) of the pakistani girls before marriage, slouch, and after marriage or kids they stop thinking or caring about it and let it loose(which in itself is discouraging for a lot of men, including me).These are just a few thoughts, results of my many elaborate observations.

Your article struck a huge chord within me. I have also recently written - as a form of confession, a coming to terms within myself - about my sharam-conscious upbringing and the effect it has had on my attitude towards my body. From the time i physically matured, I have also felt your shame. My body`s doings became my own terrible, public secret - a secret that all my female family could talk about but none of the males must ever know. I think i may be over it now, but who can wipe out a whole childhood worth of beliefs so easily? My sexuality is a source of great ambivalence for me. Thank you for telling me i am not alone.

I have a submission to make. I have many Indian friends here in the States. During the course of my discussions with them , the following points were discussed.

1) Why is it that Islam should feel threatened if any individual or group casts aspersions on it. Surely there are rational ways of dealing with these situations rather than violence.

2) Why do Muslims complain about matreatment when they have benefits in other countries which is denied to minorities in their countries.

3) My friends say that in India muslims want to and have been buliding mosques in every street , does buiding mosques in every street alone define Islam.

I have been able to put across my point of view to them, but I would like the readers to respond to this.

Thanks

Hamdard