Cool Desperation

Cool is being `mast`. Ah! yes KGS! Sweet memories of turning down guys! That was way cool!
However, with apologies I am pretty good at and enjoy dancing but I do like going `bhangra` too, infact i love it!
And i Love wearing kameez shalwar though mostly I dont but the point is that I would even wear a lungi, because its comfy and most of all-because I am `mast`!

I think coolness is being completely `mast` in your life. it is also the least aggravating.
I really dont think coolness is measured by how many members of the opposite sex you danced with.
we used to go to parties (KGS of course!) and i remember the only time i danced with a guy was once, at his persistent insistence and my friends annoying israar (she knew I hated the guy!). We even paid a visit to webster hall (NY) and shunned guys as usual. I beleive it is more fun dancing among friends( what we used to do at parties) because it gives one the opporunity to be completely `mast` rather than taxing your brain about what to say to the person across you and trying to follow his awkward moves.
And I love wearing kameez shalwar, hell I would even wear a lungi-you know why? Because I am `mast`
dont worry about what others think because that IS cool or atleast the amreekee crowd gets really impressed by that * * * *-u attitude and it makes you more comfortable with who/what you are.
BTW I really didnt like KGS, all that much!

RE: Temporal and Safwan

My interest in Lattoo, kite-flying, kabotar baazi,and gulli danda was strictly academic i.e. keenly observing the artistry involved - much to the chagrin of my father - an active participant well into middle-age. But I`ll have to ask my more ``tomboyish`` sister to oblige with some stories.

Here is an account of the bus stop par kharay larkay sey pehli mohabbat, or a version thereof.

During the Irani revolution, some young students that fled came to live in a house next to us in PECHS which had been converted into a hostel for use by Irani students (there were many old style apartment type building in this part of PECHS). They had enrolled in the nearby PECHS Foundation College for boys - thus, much to our delight, a constant traffic of ahem, good-looking boys was available to feast our adolescent eyes on (we had an extended family living situation, so several of us 14 to 16 year old cousins were involved).

One of these gentlemen impressed us particularly with the breadth of his shoulders, his well-muscled torso, the trimness of his waistline, but most importantly the dreamy stares he seemed to give in our general direction, standing out on his porch. Well, he captured our attention and imagination. He would invariably be wearing shorts that came up to his knees. These had not really caught on in Karachi by then and they definitely added to his mystique. We began calling him ``aadhi pant``.

Many forlorn looks were exchanged with aadhi pant, at first surreptitiously, then more boldly, but none of us had the courage to actually engage him in conversation. Then one day the unthinkable happened - he sent us a letter! I suppose since he didn`t know our names, it was addressed to no one in particular. You can imagine the fights that ensued over who was the true object of his desire. Anyway, the brouhaha that ensued reached the parents ears. Aadhi pant was threatened with dire consequences and tragically for us (we had hoped he would put up some resistance, prove his true love) he quickly lost the dreamy look on his face.

And so ended the phehli mohabbat.

Anita

RE: Saad (not the author)

I have heard it rumored that the Pak-American bookstore on Zaibunnissa Street has fallen victim to this new form of Pak-Umreeki dosti - it is now to be a KFC! Tell me it isn`t so.

Anita

Dear Temporal,

You woke me with your response. What the hell, let me tell you of my Karachi, the one I left years ago...

(1: My first Lattoo win.)

Never played Lattoo. Too busy playing street cricket.

(2: My first Kite fight.)

Yup, I almost fell from the roof but on another occasion I had him bleed on the torn guddi.

(3: My uncle`s Lotan Kabooter.)

No comments.

(4: Burns Road ki Nihari vs. Hanifia ka Kabab.)


Dammit, why did you have to remind me. The 2D and 2K used to take us to Empress market and then the Yellow Devil would drop us off at Sabri`s Nihari place. That was before my Kawasaki 100, which of course took me to Students Biryani and other great places. BTW, Bundu Khan was too expensive and snooty for a decent tikka and Katta-Kat.

(5: Gilli Danda kay nashayb-o-faraz)

Are you crazy, street urchins do that :=)

(6: Why the Bank Chowkidars carry pre war
(First W.W.) rifles with polished blanks.)

Never thought or cared.

(7: Bus stop par khari larki say pehli mohabbat.)

Hmm. I hope someone else takes that one. I have to protect her identity.

(8: Critique on Karachi Bus Conductors; Irani
restaurant waiters and American auctioneers.
(with emphasis on DNA similarities and the
23rd chromosome).)

My major experience was in 2D and 2K. My favorite haunt was a place called Taj Mahal on the way to NED near Sohrab Goth. another one was an Irani Hotel near Abbasi Shaheed Hospital (7 number chowk, it was called). I spent many nights there when the press used to be printing our flyers and ...

(9: Acceptance of Charas: Journey from Dargah
to Colleges. And Zia`s role in it.)

I normally defer discussion on Zia`s role to a certain Sohail Rabbani. My tales of Zia consist of the day his men fired tear gas after student unions were banned in February 1985. Charas is not a topic that should be discussed here :=)

(10:Thursday evening Donkey races to the Clifton Mazaar and its impact on Lyari. )

That is a loaded statement. The impact is not hidden from anyone. Is there any doubt?

Thank you Saad for bringing back memories of Karachi.

Re: Observer Jr.

It would be interesting to see how you can articulate, elucidate, pontificate, and elaborate the KHICHRI of five half baked assertions.

Upon return, volutary or involuntary return to the Pureland , everyone of us will be grouped with the elites there. And how wrongly...!

As Saad would say, Mr./Ms Observer jr..........
(sorry for the digression).

Now to balance this yaad-e-raftagaan can someone do a piece on------

1: My first Lattoo win.
2: My first Kite fight.
3: My uncle`s Lotan Kabooter.
4: Burns Road ki Nihari vs. Hanifia ka Kabab.
5: Gilli Danda kay nashayb-o-faraz
6: Why the Bank Chowkidars carry pre war
(First W.W.) rifles with polished blanks.
7: Bus stop par khari larki say pehli mohabbat.
8: Critique on Karachi Bus Conductors; Irani
restaurant waiters and American auctioneers.
(with emphasis on DNA similarities and the
23rd chromosome).
9: Acceptance of Charas: Journey from Dargah
to Colleges. And Zia`s role in it.
10:Thursday evening Donkey races to the Clifton Mazaar and its impact on Lyari.

I am sure some of you must have fond memories of these or similar subjects.

Re: Naufal Yusufzai

``Also, how would one be a `cool` Pakistani freed from the soul-robbing influences on `angreziat`? (I want to be prepared to be cool when I visit Pakistan this winter ;))``

Here is a brief guide

1. (This is the toughest one) - speak only in the native language of where you are - don`t let a word of English creep in.

2. Dress plainly in simple shalwar kurta

3. Profess to all you meet that you hate Madonna and her ilk. Instead true musical enjoyment is listening to authentic Qawwali (I suppose some of the earlier Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan stuff will do, the later stuff is too pop-influenced, a better choice is Ghulaam Farid Sabri)and ghazals sung by Habib Wali Mohammad and Saigol.

4. Admit that although you are wholeheartedly for peace with India, that you secretly enjoy the milli naghmay of Malka-e-Tarannum Noor Jehan, alongwith highlights from Jamiluddin Aali such as jivae, jivae, Pakistan.

5. Be equally familiar with the works of Manto, Nazir Ahmed and Rushdie and be ready to recite at a moment`s notice the poetry of Iqbal, Akbar Ilahabadi, and Mir.

6. Feign overwhelming cultural fatigue if asked to go to tiresome establishments like Copper Kettle and Coconut Grove. Instead, insist on the truly authentic Bundu Khan. Even at the risk of typhoid fever and Hepatitis A (please get immunized before you go)you must try Baluch`s faluda.

7. Be appreciative of the nice weather you will get to enjoy in December.

8. Be appreciative of the incredible hospitality of your relatives and acquaintances, many of whom will put themselves out for you to a degree unimaginable here in the US.

9. Notice and comment on all the benefits of our extended family system, our respect for the elderly, our focus on children.

10. Talk about all the problems you see inherent in the American way of life - how the crass commercialism of America exported to the rest of the world really bothers you. And how sad you are to see that the Pakistani youth has chosen to follow the worst aspects of American culture - thanks to satellite transmissions of Baywatch, Bold and Beautiful, MTV, and Oprah - not to mention the worse of them all, the Indian ZTV.

Regards,

Anita

Re: AJ

Eloquently expressed!

Coolness, as beauty of course, is very much in the eyes of the beholder. Angraziat has little to do with it. To me cool is being able to know Urdu so well, that one can compose poetry in it. Did you read that poem `Thanksgiving` - recently on Chowk?

Anita

Re:Observer

``...how you can apply this definition to those who attempt to uncover the utter pretentiousness of the Pakistani elite, not as a jealous reaction, but as the hilarious farce it is.``


To the truism ``actions speak louder than words``, I would like to add a new one - ``words from real people are more believable than words from virtual ones``(sorry Temporal:) ).

So Observer, I will be convinced that you are a real liberal believing in your cause (instead of a half-baked one pursuing a life of comfort in the US, while decrying the same in the pretentious Pakistani elite) if you go back to Pakistan and

1. Renounce wealth accumulation (no more investing in stocks, putting money away in tax-deferred accounts to make some big bucks at the expense of the poor workers of the world, for example)

2. Live in a modest house (not in Phase V).

3. Send your kids to average schools (not elite schools) and definitely not to colleges in the US (a sure ticket to elitism, which forgive me if I am wrong, aren’t you guilty of yourself?).

4. Dedicate your life to alleviation of poverty in Pakistan.

If you are indeed planning to do this (or Bad Girl, the other alleged leftist among us, for that matter) don’t forget to tell us your name, and of course my hats off to you for having such goals. I for one, am not up for 1, 2, or 3, and I have no pretensions about that.

Incidentally, neither Saad, nor I, are into the party scene - never have, and never will be. Not here, and not when we go back to Pakistan. Its just not us - but if others enjoy it - that`s fine by me. Isn`t that the liberal spirit?

Anita

Anita

Saad
``So the phrase is hitting home hard enough that people are arguing about its origins. ``
My, aren’t we feeling particularly self-important today?

``It has to do with a certain kind of maladjusted desi whose notion of self-worth comes from an orientalist world view. The ultimate fetish of the half-learnt liberal is Western acceptance, so he or she strives to live up to the image of the Third World that has been proffered by the West through its post-colonial, but admittedly well-meaning, guilt trip.``
Orientalism, , according to Edward Said, is a complicated, yet still surface level, conception of the Orient created by the West which allows the Occidental nations to justify their superiority over their Oriental counterparts. This representation, Said is quick to point out, is just that – a representation, and nothing more. Orientalist discourse is the West’s attempt to speak for the Orient, to solve its mysteries and to
uncover its truths. For Said, the Western thinking as it regards to the East operates along the lines of the statement made by Marx: ``They can not represent themselves; they must be represented.`` An important means through which this power is achieved is by the systematic elimination of the individual Oriental in such discourse.
[http://www.sas.upenn.edu/

GHAZAL OOS NAY CHEHRI MUJHAY ....II

Saad:

Yesterday I simply did not feel like engaging anyone in a cockfight. You are damn right about the fond memories of the ``foibles and follies of our teenage years.`` What these detractors fail to grasp is that you are not the same person now. Vicariously, same is true of yours truly.
We all pass through phases. What is the holy punishment for expressing those foibles? Forty lashes in the city square or in front of the Juma Mosque?

Anita Bibi:

Please don`t be so harsh on those who use the pseudonym. I consciously try to hear what is being said, not who is saying it. (Hey, I can sometimes even empathise this one character here on the Chowk, who keeps complaining about getting edited out of existence. No, I would not invite him over for a drink!)

Faisal:

I don`t think my memory is failing yet. It is supposed to be the second thing deserting one..... Sorry for the digression.

From the New Numaish, at the intersection of
Dalmia Cement Factory Road and Country Club Road, to the Campus of U of K, the only buildings one could see in the vicinity of the road. were the Aero Club, Khandaya Farms,
and the Sui Gas transmission complex. The
Urdu College new campus was still under construction. This is circa `68-`70.

regards

Faisal, I know that you are right about PIB colony. My father (now deceased) after migrating got a small house with his parents there in 1950 because my grandfather was a clerk in the government. We lived there until 1970. I have great memories of that house and the dark narrow alleys surrounding it were a delight for a child`s imagination.

Gulshan well-populated in 1952? I am not so sure. That kind of surprises me.

Anita

Reflections from afar.

We are the rats who deserted a sinking ship.
Now safely ensconced on dry land,
we can be glib.
We become observers (or bad girls),
demanding formulaic redemption from writers,
and other such pearls.
One of these is to be ``aware``
of the existence of the evil
of social status back there,
back there, where we came from -
what used to be yours, and my home
but Alas! No longer.

We are much safer here, observing the ship from far away,
doling out advice
for those who stay.
But perhaps not safe enough.
No, we still need the crutch of a pseudonym,
to stand up straight, to talk so tough.

We will struggle for human rights,
without revealing our name -
lest our loved ones should happen
to feel some shame
at what we say, yes, yes, that is the best way
to play this cyber game.
Which is fine by me, I say,
as long as the reader
doesn’t fall prey
to believing - here lay true moral conviction -
come what may.
Nay,
Just a big dose of virtual reality!


Anita

Re: Observer ... ``half-learnt liberal rhetoric``

To give proper credit where it is due, the term
``half-learnt liberal rhetoric`` originated with Rush Limbaugh, along with ``feminazi``, ``banana republic conservationists``, and other descriptive terms describing the pseudo-elites in the society.

Saad,
I suppose it says volumes about you that you’d consider a shallow status search a ``pleasant memory.`` I’ve got pleasant memories of Pakistan as well, but it does not involve pretentious people watching at Copper Kettle or some other bastion of pseudo-aristocratic Pakistani ``Society.``
Incidentally, the phrase ``half-learnt liberal rhetoric`` is really getting played out. Maybe another facet of coolness is coming up with new material.

Ok... maybe people should start to realize that just because some people have memories and nostalgia that leads them back to the lanes and avenues of Phase V doesn`t make those memories any less poignant or worth recording in comparison to memories on the streets in Baluch Colony... I think it is highly unfair to place a value on a persons memories based on where there are from.
Does this mean that the only thing we can write, or talk about is people, lives, and memories from the less fortunate? Is that not just exoticizing and romanticizing misfortune? I think we all need to take a serious look at ourselves before we start pointing fingers.
-Uzma

GHAZAL OOS NAY CHEHRI MUJHAY...........

Saad, wonderful read.

I left the dysfunctional city a decade earlier. It was interesting to note the similarities and the changes. In the Party Scene, smoking, the kind Beltway Billy did not inhale, was not much in evidence. It was still ``mujawar`s and charsee`s`` domain. There were no banquet halls. Just the regular bungalow, no basement,
dimly lit, loud music. Lots of desis pretending to be pardesis. A requisite on the cool barometer was to ignore, totally ignore others. No flares or loud collars. A holder if you must smoke.
Mcluhan if you had intellectual pretensions.

Grammar was there, as was my alma mater, Cantonment Public School. Sind Club and Gymkhana were there, but the crowd was far better than I saw a couple of years ago. The CHARPOY culture is overtaking the SOFA culture. [ More on this from my alter ego Ikbal Khan on the Chowk later. This is just a sneak
preview.]

There was no Gulshan. When Shukria Khanum, Pakistan`s first female pilot, took us up in a Sandberg T21, all we saw below was Khandaya Farms, the Aero Club, and the Sui Gas
Transmission station and nothing else.

Phase V was just Marshland.Big time.
Brahminville was Bath Island, portion of Block VI, and KDA 1.

In remeniscing mode, I learned from Indian friends that they weren`t so libido hung-up.
(Or shall I say hung-down?) Sure they had problems and hurdles but on the whole theirs` was a more level playing field. No dimunitive wall like Home-Ec`s to scale. (I understand the wall has since been raised to prison- specifications}.

Some folks on the interact have been too harsh on you. They seem to miss the point. Heck, I`m
in no mood to engage them today. You touched some nice chords. Here is to you, Cool Cat!

regards

Defense Phase V
with its multitudes of mansions
for some reason, all colored white.
Their columns tall, their walls high;
yes, the ghareeb can apply
to be servants.

Defense Phase V, with its lush green lawns
watered by the magic of money.
With parties aplenty,
ne’er a glass empty
of the drink of your desire.
Decadence truly abounds,
we’ve all done the rounds
before we move to America.

Life here is a lot more fun,
away from the gaze of the relentless sun;
we are finally free.
Free to pursue the American dream,
the two-car garage, the trip to Hawaii,
the retirement accounts, yet another shirt.
Please, only Gucci or Armani!

Hey, we can be as bourgeois as we like-
everybody here has plenty.
Unfettered we are,
no more surrounded by the vulgar faces of poverty
that make us so uncomfortable on our short trips back home.
The trips getting shorter by the year.
Now every other year, and then every five.
Too busy making money to keep all our material dreams alive.
Assuaging our guilt by a few extra bucks dealt out
here and there,
these are sure to go a long way.

How can the people of Defense Phase V
be so oblivious to the misery that surrounds them-
the Lalu Khaits, the Mahmoodabads
the chappal-less children with bloated bellies.
Well, we don’t have to deal with them, do we?
We have buried our heads in the sand.
Aha! We live in the luxurious lap of America!

Anita

Aye to observer`s comment on the left ;o)

Gharib Miskeen

I believe that you never see TV Drama`s / Programmes that portray rich and privilaged persons. This portrayal of life style is very common. And I am sure given half a chance more teenagers would jump at this opportunity.

There is a time and place for everything. We should stop holding grudge against people who strive to improve themselves and associate them with members of the affluent class. While Pakistan, like any other society, has all classes of people. People like us forget that Quaid-e-Azam also a product of class politics.

I believe what Saad was trying to reflect is a young man`s fancy. It is an emotional phase in one`s life that can only be experienced.

GSM

Everybody wants to follow a role model. Who was your role model. The world is full of glamourous personalities. The younger generation is generally affected by these personalities. As long the effect is harmless, it should be no problems. In fact, if anything, it provides goals for the younger generation to strive towards.

Finally, to everybody. Lighten up, enjoy life once in a while. Keep in good humor. It will enable you improve the quality of life for everybody.

And to the Author. I hope you continue to write inspite of all the criticism.

Incredibly bourgeois. Lacks the sole redeeming value of poor little rich kid stories, namely, the realization that the pursuit of social status is so painfully petty, which, in this case, in especially startling, since Dr. Shafqat is 15 years removed from his bourgeois exploits. The Left may be evil, Dr. Shafqat, but the behavior of the elite in the face of enormous inequity is simply unforgivable.

RE: Gharib Maskeen

You hit the nail right on the head! As another interacter named ``Sabrina`` explained elsewhere on the Chowk about the malaise Pakistani nation is facing as a whole, this article is a classic illustration of Pinkerton Syndrome: It is when a
particular race group imagines or thinks another as being more worthy, more superior to their own.
Hence, the need to acquire traits, trophies that will let himself be accepted by this group he wishes to identify with. It is not so much that the group wants him to conform, it is that he wishes to do so himself. Of course, he imagines himself the sole exception amongst his own kind, the one with potential.

Chowk is a microcosm of Pakistan and as such is full of those afflicted with this syndrome. It comes through and through perfectly clear in most of the articles and interactions here. Sad yet so true .....

Saad-
I enjoyed this quite a bit. I like the ease with which you describe all that was our life there, without the sense of regret or feeling of dismay; but rather, present it as a kind of amused retrospective image.

``Waste, pessimism, defeat, loss, tragedy, misery, devastation, dejection and melancholy - what concepts, I thought. There was something decadent and romantic about wasting your days that appealed
to me.``
I couldn`t help but smile. Kind of nice to know it wasn`t just me. Grammar school, Sind Club, Phase V and the boyfriend... ah, the memories.
-Uzma.